God Attacks Mazda with 65,000 Yellow Sac Spiders
photo credit: MSVG God has once again shown his support of America’s automobile industry, this time by causing 65,000 spiders to secrety build powerful steel-grade webs inside Mazda’s M6 carline.
Mazda is a product of Japan, the very same country that buried our innocence under a swarm of fiery hate in the 1940s. They laughed in our faces during these hard Obama economic times and now God is showing who truly backs our currency and industry.
A spokesman from Mazda states that yellow sac spiders (cheriacanthium) had infiltrated Mazda laboratories and unbenownst to their leading scientists, had built impossibly small webs within the crucial vent lines of the cars. Had these cars been sold and put to the street, the fuel vent lines would have caused and built up tremendous pressure. This would have eventuallyr resulted in leaking fuel and Mazda cars exploding all over the world.
Due to this, Japan has been forced to recall 50,000 cars in the US. In Canada, another 15,000. This will cripple Japan’s economy and is more proof of why America built is the best.
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Author: Pat Heinkel
Pat Heinkel is the senior church organist for Shellington Pres., where he also proudly serves as a volunteer firefighter, distinguished lecturer and has the town's (maybe region!) largest collection of Coleoptera. Email Pat
2:27 am
This combined with God sending clean non-threatening looking singer Eminem’s to defend Detroit will surely assure in a new era of prosperity for Detroit. I have enjoyed driving my two large Detroit powered 8 cylinder 12 MPG Jeeps around the hippies stuck in the snow.
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8:44 am
You don’t think Eminem looks threatening? He looks like a pissed-off punk who would shoot up a high school!
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8:19 am
Hippie men wear those skirt sarong things in the winter with ugg boots, which is not only ungodly behavior, it is conducive to frost bite and an affront to manliness. Real men wear camo, like I’m sure you do MeAwesome.
It is no wonder these were yellow spiders. What will these devils think of next?
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10:52 am
Men wearing wigs is also “ungodly” but the Founding Fathers had no problems with it.
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10:45 pm
This won’t cripple the economy. There are more things to Japan than fuel efficient and sporty cars. Like video games. Why don’t you protest the 15+year long wait for Duke Nukem Forever?
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10:33 am
Who would even buy one of those little boxes? You can’t get more than 1 of yur sister-wives and maybe a coupla younguns in one.
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2:32 am
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mazda
just check the “owner” to the right side of the article
Yes it,s said FORD an AMERICAN COMPANY
in other word if Mazda Fall YOU fall as well
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6:09 pm
God drives a Toyota.
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11:40 am
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1:03 pm
I suppose it doesn’t matter that all American cars are cheaply made bits of pig iron then does it? The last time I saw plastics as horrible as those that America put in the interior of their cars, the plastic contained tic tacs.
I’ll keep my Kia Picanto thanks.
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