• God Attacks Mazda with 65,000 Yellow Sac Spiders

    March 4, 2011 2:08 am 10 comments
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  • 2011 Mazda 5
    Creative Commons License photo credit: MSVG  God has once again shown his support of America’s automobile industry, this time by causing 65,000 spiders to secrety build powerful steel-grade webs inside Mazda’s M6 carline.

    Mazda is a product of Japan, the very same country that buried our innocence under a swarm of fiery hate in the 1940s. They laughed in our faces during these hard Obama economic times and now God is showing who truly backs our currency and industry.

    A spokesman from Mazda states that yellow sac spiders (cheriacanthium) had infiltrated Mazda laboratories and unbenownst to their leading scientists, had built impossibly small webs within the crucial vent lines of the cars. Had these cars been sold and put to the street, the fuel vent lines would have caused and built up tremendous pressure. This would have eventuallyr resulted in leaking fuel and Mazda cars exploding all over the world.

    Due to this, Japan has been forced to recall 50,000 cars in the US. In Canada, another 15,000. This will cripple Japan’s economy and is more proof of why America built is the best.

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    About The Author
    Pat Heinkel Pat Heinkel is the senior church organist for Shellington Pres., where he also proudly serves as a volunteer firefighter, distinguished lecturer and has the town's (maybe region!) largest collection of Coleoptera. Email Pat

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