• Has The Gay Agenda Invaded Your Neighborhood?

    March 7, 2011 9:42 pm 38 comments

    There has recently been a lot about gays in the news.  Many normal people have been asking a lot of questions: How can you spot these gays before they convert your children?  Investigative journalism is what we do here at Christwire, and bringing you the hard hitting stories that you want to read is also included in that mandate.  

    Bike Lanes

    His gay boyfriend must have left something behind

    Normal straight men buy cars. Gays prefer bikes, as it allows them to wear skin tight shorts to show off the goods to fellow gays. There are secret codes they use to get each other’s attention, like wearing green helmets symbolizes their love to be sodomized. There is an entire elaborate underground gay movement in the mountain bike community.

    Be wary if you have noticed that bikes are being given their own lanes on the streets of your good conservative neighborhood. This allows gays to move in and out quickly and quietly, mixing with your children and attempting to spread AIDS and the liberal agenda through more affluent communities

    You hear rap music blaring

    Rap music tends to be the first thing children listen to that they may not be familiar with from their home lives. It is a gateway. Once they accept some of the liberal ideals behind it their minds become more susceptible to other, more sinister thoughts, such as sodomy and premarital sex. It is well known these rap artists have dark gay secrets from the time they spend in jail.

    Some of them, like M&M, have openly admitted to it in the lyrics of their songs. Others use bravado to cover it up, claiming to be hanging out with their ‘homies’, when in reality that is a slick jail term for homosexuals. They thought they could hide it from us, good thing investigative journalism is my forte.

    The skinny one is the 'b*tch'

    You see illegals working on your roads or lawns

    It is well documented that when crossing the border, many Mexicans are forced to huddle together for warmth. Amongst weaker minded people this leads to homosexuality. They grow used to a man’s touch.

    Often times the guys working on your lawn together are also domestic partners. We can’t blame them, however. The gay liberal agenda is using them as pawns, as is their custom with groups of poor uneducated people. Once they see a way to call a Republican a racist they jump on it. They manipulate people of color into going along with them and then call us bigots when we disagree.

    Your children’s local teacher may be gay

    Schools in our country have long been known to be bastions of liberal ideals. Often times lesbians are not only given jobs teaching our youth but also allowed to have free reign over curriculum and use their ill gotten gains to spread gay all over our kids. How to spot them? Good thing you asked…

    They will often be young single women, because no good man would have them after seeing their whorish ways in college. Short hair is a staple amongst these monsters. They are often the ones who attempt to ‘help out’ after school by coaching volleyball teams and gaining access to your daughters locker room. How many children will be ruined before we spot this trend and put a stop to it by requiring teachers to pass a moral test as well as an educational one?  

    Boys may be playing soccer in the street

    They couldn't even wait until after the 'game'

    Good American boys play football, baseball, or dream of shooting hoops for Duke. Those are sports real men get behind. Homosexuals, however, like to run around in women’s clothing and kick a ball at each other. Apart from teaching young men traits that only women should have, it helps to complete the European liberal agenda by using foreigners as heroes to our children instead of decent American athletes.

    Symbolism runs rampant here. Soccer is played with balls, which they emasculate by kicking them. The names of the teams, such as ‘United’, don’t foster a competitive spirit in sports at all. It is almost like they are all playing nice and no one is really trying to win at all. Teams like Peyton Manning’s Colts use decent strong symbolism. They teach our kids values. Soccer teaches the gay.  

    Do you hire a guy to mow your lawn at least once a week?

    If you don’t then you are part of the problem… and you may be gay. Proper lawn maintenance is part of being a true American. Looking like the American dream is just as important as living it. Gays tend to be too busy fornicating with the help rather than letting them do their job. America had to create HOA’s to keep them from sexting all day and not keeping up the house.

    If your neighbor has a unkempt lawn, it very well may be because there was debauchery going on with the hired hands. While I would mostly suspect the wife of a liberal to do such things, it is not entirely out of the question that the husband might have some tendencies he needed to solve. Maybe they are both adulterers. Keep your eye on the family with tall grass, and keep your children far, far away.

    Is there a gas station nearby?

    Notice where this man's eyes are pointing. Your penis.

    I’ll bet there is. And I’ll bet it is ran by someone from a foreign country. I’ll even go one step further and predict the prices are ridiculously high. A cup of coffee might cost you $3. And when you go to pay, you have to have an Arab to English dictionary to get them to realize you need the rest of a twenty in gas. It feels like you are buying gas straight from the terrorists themselves.

    I’ll bet it also sells pornography. Gay pornography, which in the countries these people come from is freely available to anyone who can reach the counter and produce a ruple. Remember that the next time Little Johnny goes to get some glue for his model airplanes. All he has to do is point a few degrees to the left and Akbar will gladly ruin his childhood for the profit of a few pennies on the dollar.

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    About The Author
    Alex Keating Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

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