The woman now affectionately known as Charlie Sheen’s winning porn star, Kasey Jordan, allgedly tried to commit suicide last night. According to reports from TMZ, Jordan was found with scrapes to her arms, denying that she tried to do anything to harm herself and calls placed to emergency services were ‘publicity stunts’. None of this stopped Jordan from allegedly trying to cut herself with a cork screw when police arrived at scene. Jordan was taken to a local hospital for non-criminal suicide ideation.
Meanwhile, it remains unconfirmed if Charlie Sheen is still jumping from rooftop to rooftop, hopped up on Tiger’s blood and the might of Peruvian cocaine economic power.