• March Madness: Bible Secrets to the Perfect NCAA Bracket Picks

    March 10, 2011 11:54 pm 33 comments

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    5 do’s and 5 don’ts to making the best NCAA Bracket picks!

    The bible is against gambling, so you should not take part in any pools for money . If you do, you will be treated like the moneychangers of old.
    However, if you are involved in an honorable contest to determine who gets to sing a solo at choir this Sunday or who gets to pick the theme for this year’s church picnic. Then here are the clues for you:

    Outstanding effort!

    1 Don’t: Avoid satanic picks like the Duke Blue Devils, Alabama Crimson Tide, South Carolina Gamecocks, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Drexel Dragons, Richmond Spider, San Diego University Toreros, St. Mary’s College Gaels, UCSB Gauchos and the Hofstra Gay Pride. These schools will falter once Satan is distracted by men in short shorts.

    2 Do: Pick holy schools like Oral Roberts, Gonzaga, Biola, and Boise State University. These teams faith is constantly rewarded in sports as well as the quality of female companionship sent to their universities.

    3 Don’t: pick schools from unholy blue states: This should be obvious. But don’t pick schools from Massachusetts Vermont or Illinois.

    4 Do: Pick schools from Holy red states: Schools like Kentucky, Kansas, North Carolina, Arizona are constantly competitive thanks to their states voting records. If you vote for God, he votes for you!

    5: Don’t pick schools whose players are likely to be in jail or hung-over at tipoff: Washington State University and BYU are prime examples of schools where the athletic department recruits straight out of juvenile detention.

    6: Do pick schools that you would want your kids to go to: Honestly would you rather have your kid go to Princeton or Washington State University?

    7: Don’t use the same picks as Obama: His picks last year were a joke. Also his brother in law is coach of Oregon State University. Do you really think that they would have the nerve to fire him regardless of how bad they play? They Lost to Washington State University for crying out loud.

    8: Do use the same picks a Sarah Palin: The Governor has attended six schools and has one degree and one emphasis. Her experience in getting around and her excellent eyesight will help her properly evaluate teams.

    9 Don’t drink while making your picks: Do you want to be the laugh of the party when you turn in your picks with a final four of Harvard, WSU, Illinois, and Notre Dame?

    10 Do pray and fast over your picks: You will be rewarded with an easy victory to laud over your foes at Easter service.

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    http://www.ruralnorthwest.com/Retired, I now spend my time helping others who won’t help themselves. = Value of Custom Field

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