• 7 Reasons I Hate Emo Kids

    April 4, 2011 4:43 pm 48 comments

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    7 Reasons Why I Hate Emo Kids

    Woe is me: Let’s be honest with each other, emo kids are pathetic but, only because they choose to be. They are always crying and taking sad pictures. I guess you live a hard life when daddy can’t hug you every day and mommy won’t buy you that $400 pair of jeans from Hollister. Get over it emo kids, the majority of you DO NOT have It bad. Suck it up and hold it all inside like the rest of us. Don’t let your crappy mood affect my day.

    Clothing: There is a reason why only women should wear tight jeans. I’m disgusted when I see a pale, toothpick looking, skinny as hell, emo boy wearing tight Hollister girl jeans. You know you are pathetic when you are shopping in the girls section at Hollister. If they are trying to make a statement, it’s working but, as to what that statement is…I have no damn clue. I guess I’m just weird for thinking that guys should wear guy clothes and girls should wear girl clothes. Maybe I’m the freak?

    Hair: What the hell is up with the blonde strip in front of their eyes? Can someone PLEASE explain this to me? When you are a guy who spends more time on your hair than a women takes to get dressed, you know you have a problem. There is nothing wrong with a guy wanting his hair to look good but when it involves a straighter and color dye you are just EMO.

    Black is my favorite color: Why black? I’m sure they did not choose black for its slimming qualities because most of them already weigh 70lbs…wet. Black is such a depressing color when it’s incorporated in to every part of your wardrobe. Oh, and as if having an entire black outfit was not enough, let’s paint our finger nails black and wear black mascara (girls and guys). The only way you’re going to see an emo kid at night is if they’re smiling but, we ALL know that won’t be happening.

    Music Genre: I got an idea, let’s get a bunch of emo kids together and have them scream about emotions that they have never even experienced. “Scremo” is the worst genre of music ever invented. They try to sound hardcore while singing about mommy not paying for their tuition. Oh and that’s if you can even understand what they are screaming. “Scremo” is just a fad and hopefully it will end soon enough. Until then we can only dream about them all crashing off of a cliff in to a pool of emo tears.

    Speaking hurts my soul: Every emo kid seems to have a speech impediment. They struggle with every word as if it’s their last. If you don’t believe me, try sitting thru a speech class in high school. They whisper and drag out each and every word as if to save energy for a late night of sitting in the corner crying. Please, just for once, talk like a normal human being. I know it’ll be hard to break out of your shell of emotion but, I have a feeling you can do it!

    Original: The majority of emo kids think they are being unique and not following the crowd. Last time I checked emo kids were a crowd. They are as original as preppy kids or nerdy kids. They are so different and so unique, that they all dress the same. At least preppy girls compete to wear the skankiest clothing. Emo girls just compete to see who can dress the darkest and look the most like a boy. When it comes to being original, emo kids lose. Great, now they have one more thing to cry about.

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