• A Prayer To God From Christwire To Restore The Playstation Network (Or At Least Just The Madden Part Of It)

    April 25, 2011 9:15 pm 89 comments
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  • Lord God, we understand why you destroyed the Playstation Network, or as we like to call it here at Christwire, the “PlaySatan Network”. We know it was a tool used by Satan to destroy the lives of millions of youth and introduce them to the gay. We thank you for your great wisdom in removing it from Gaming Circles.

    However, we have run into a slight roadblock, and now ask for your assistance once more.

    John Madden’s Football has been taken down as a part of your wrath. The only Godly American game on the entire network. I know that some good people must suffer in your name for the homogays to be taken care of properly, and I respect that. However my quarterback, Jesus Christ, has not yet fully developed and requires some playing time in order to help spread your word to the heathen PlaySatan Network masses.

    I know God reads Christwire. We are his champions and he reads us daily. To abuse his divine intervention for personal reasons would be blasphemy. That is not what is happening here, I assure you. My reasons are purely for purposes of witnessing to others while my defense wreaks havoc on homogay quarterbacks like Tom Brady and Peyton Manning. If they can’t get their just deserts in real life, the least I can do is bring the Wrath of God to them in a digital sense.

    Please Lord, push the hands of the technicians and show the heathen masses you can bring miracles to fruition. Bring back Madden. Allow my tight ends many YAC yards against the Atheist hordes who bring no game to the table when they show up anyways. Help me show them your almighty wrath by using my linebackers to hurry up the offense and cause turnovers and penalties. Help me glorify your name, Lord, by running up the score time and time again.

    Thank you Lord, and I know we can expect the Network to be back up soon because you favor Christwire over the atheists. Amen.

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    About The Author
    Alex Keating Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

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