Abe’s Funny Viteos: Women Trying to Drive Like a Man
In the beginning of time, God made Adam and he was a man. It was a good ol’ boys club. God made himself a Son and he was proud, yet Adam, he became lonely. He wanted a companion for himself and he yelled to his Father that he wanted himself a companion.
Now for you sick twisted atheists out there, God did not need the life batter to create Adam. He just said, “Let there be my Son, in my image. I call him a huMAN.” And whammo, there was a huMAN. Adam.
It was like the Sims, for you video game addicts. There is a game serious out there called The Sims ™ where a evolution supporter named Will Wright (probably supposed to be Willeta Wright or someone) tries to give everyone a taste of playing God. You can use lifelike characters to do all sorts of things, including bedroom heeha and this is a game meant for children! Swordfights, flesh sword fights in woohoo mode and then the coup de tat, you can even resurrect your “Sim” from death like you are Jesus.
The games are sinful but when you think about it, it’s just like reality. God got bored one day and made himself a smaller, almost as good child version of himself. That was Adam. Then, Adam’s health meter started to go down. His body naturally wanted a companion and so as a second thought, God made unto Adam a help meat.
A woman.
It was a Pandora’s box for everyone involved, because a women is a tricky bag of irrational emotions, mean demands and feminist fat leg goosestepping. Women get a subconscious jealousy because they are the second human. We are not called huWoman, but huMAN. Never forget this wisdom, but also never forget, that God gave us woman because she can be a good companion when trained right and shows a, proper, loving hand should she step out of her role.
Sometimes, you have to just stop and watch a women to truly understand what she is made for. One of my favorite gifts of my help meat is her humor. She is naturally funny. It looks funny when she tries to ware my pants and call the shots in the home, trying to get out and do yard work and shop at Lowes and use improper foreign measures to get wood cut. Then, there’s the driving.
Women are not as complex in the math departments of the brain.
In the diagram at the right, you can see a standard man’s brain.
In the frontal lobe, this is the area of calculations when driving. New studies reveal that in an emergent situation, a man’s reaction time is superior to children, drunks and then a baseline women.
The data indicate a man will stop .7 milliseconds where if you get a fit of drunkeness, the number will shoot up to .78 milliseconds and young motorists around .779 ms. Then a woman, she will stop around 8.02 milliseconds and the experiment numbers have been reported in university again and again.
When you are faced with high insurance premiums and a dented car, it is not funny at first. You are concerned about when you let your daughter take out that new car, if she’s going to ruin everything by getting into a horrible wreck.
Your wife may get distracted on her phone with her girlfriends, gossipping about the latest soap operas or Hollywood scandal. Then she hits a car and whammo, you have to worry about how to get your car fixed and hope she wasn’t the driver at fault.
It can cause anger and you have to punish children and all irresponsible for bad driving, but there is still humor in it. There is a that XY woman element. Women are not perfect, no one is. But they are funny, especially when they try to drive.
And when they have a fender bender, like mine just did and dented up the right tailgate light of my favorite truck and I had to dent her up with some gentle love, you can still see the humor of it. I was just concerned that she may have hurt herself, and the truck.
Let us find humor in our women and look at some of the best women driving moments. Always remember, just like a pup, they sometimes just can’t help it.
Budapest Woman Driver Drowns Her Car In Enormous Puddle
httpv://youtu.be/X8be3i-nJZ4
In this, first sampling of how a woman driver is horrible, our journeys take us to Budapest. It is in East Europe. There is a flood on the street and for some reason, this woman decides to drive her car into it. She starts drowning and rolls her window down in confused panic. You can see the dear in headlight death stare on her face as she is helpless.
At .25 seconds, her husband miraculously shows up on the scene. You can hear his voice scolding her in Budapestian for ruining the car as she drowns. He saves her and then, you see she almost drowns herself again. It may be frustrating for that husband, but in retrospect the humor is there for everyone to enjoy. Horrible woman driver.
Woman Flips Car Upside Down in Driveway
httpv://youtu.be/5U20SN3cwHk
In this viteo, you can see that it is just another day at the office for the father. He opens the home’s gate for his wife and then chaos breaks loose. From the calm reaction, you can tell this driver was a repeat offender and their auto insurance premiums must be fiercely terrible.
Woman Reading Book While Driving on the Highway
This video is actually terrifying. Your heart sinks during the big reveal in this video, as if you’d just seen a spirit demon lurking in the dark of your basement at night. Frightening.
httpv://youtu.be/LXeTMCX3s5c
Woman, Fire, Gas Station
httpv://youtu.be/HnSWW7c24fA
In this video, a woman is filling up her Jeep. She is a smoker and Satan whispers in her ear that she must have a nicotine fix. Weak in resolve, she succumbs to the cancerous seduction and we can see, the fires of hell emerge. Watch her flee the scene.
BONUS:
Women bring joy and laughter to our hearts. Here is just more examples of women being their adorable selves. It is all in fun in enjoying all in life, especially our greatest gifts. Until next time, friends. Be well.
httpv://youtu.be/iIztfeTFh9c
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!
2:56 pm
Crazy women, first voting, now this. Amazing.
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3:08 pm
So you’re admitting that you view women’s right to vote as crazy?
Has your wife ever seen “The Burning Bed” with Farrah Fawcett? If not, I suggest she rent it.
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3:13 pm
Did you not read my article concerning this? Oh, I forgot, you only read the posts to fulfill your societal needs you don’t get in real life.
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3:13 pm
Wow. You know, I was beginning to think that you might not have been so awful, but, with what you just said…
You’re just a horrid excuse for a human.
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3:15 pm
Really RD? You? You know its not like that.
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3:42 pm
You said that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote or drive or all sorts of things.
As a woman and a feminist, I’m deeply disturbed by those statements.
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11:00 pm
RD, I wish you learn how dangerous feminism is. It keeps women out of the kitchen and then who is going to feed babies?
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4:22 am
well yeah that might be sligthly bad but i think we should focus on the big problems first… like how if we don’t lock all christians up in a big room and set it on fire you are actually out among the rest of us doing stupid shit. now THAT’S dangerous.
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4:58 pm
“Really RD? You? You know its not like that.”
You made a joke of women having the right to vote. ‘Nuff said.
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5:10 pm
Claire, you must be super clueless.
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8:37 am
Sign this petition to get rid of this site!!!
http://www.petitiononline.com/cworg999/petition.html
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10:47 am
The only thing more violent than an illegal immigrant is a feminist terrorist.
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3:12 pm
“Now for you sick twisted atheists out there, God did not need the life batter to create Adam. He just said, “Let there be my Son, in my image. I call him a huMAN.” And whammo, there was a huMAN. Adam.”
I thought Jesus was supposed to be the son of your god. That’s what Christians say.
“It was like the Sims, for you video game addicts. There is a game serious out there called The Sims ™ where a lesbian named Will Wright (probably supposed to be Willeta Wright or someone) tries to give everyone a taste of playing God.”
Will Wright is a man, for one. For another, the Sims are rated Teen, ages 13 and up.
As for the rest of this article… Well, you’re just a sexist prick. I don’t think anyone takes you seriously.
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3:31 pm
“You can use lifelike characters to do all sorts of things, including bedroom heeha and this is a game meant for children!”
The Sims is rated T for Teen, rather than E for Everyone.
“Swordfights, flesh sword fights in woohoo mode and then the coup de tat, you can even resurrect your “Sim” from death like you are Jesus.”
There is no swordfighting in the Sims, and you can only resurrect your Sims via cheats.
“Women get a subconscious jealousy because they are the second human.”
No, women such as myself who do not believe in the bible get pissed off at the FALSE BELIEF that woman was the second human.
“God gave us woman because she can be a good companion when trained right and shows a, proper, loving hand should she step out of her role.”
Women are neither children nor animals, thus we cannot be “trained” by men.
“And when they have a fender bender, like mine just did and dented up the right tailgate light of my favorite truck and I had to dent her up with some gentle love, you can still see the humor of it. I was just concerned that she may have hurt herself, and the truck.”
Yes, “denting” your wife with “gentle love” is just so funny. Perhaps you should let her dent you up and see how amusing it is.
“Always remember, just like a pup, they sometimes just can’t help it.”
Are you seriously comparing women to dogs?
“our journeys take us to Budapest. It is in East Europe.”
We know where Budapest is, dipshit.
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5:10 am
“There is no swordfighting in the Sims…”
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxQPgY3Hj8M
Do you have a weird fetish for being misinformed and ignorant, Claire? Please, click the play button and watch a sword fight that takes place within The Sims: Medieval. As you watch the sword fight, reflect on the innaccuracy of your words and then on how you can be wrong in life. Realizing your weaknesses will make you a stronger person and more prone to accept advice that will help you in the long run.
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5:20 am
She is wrong about so many things….
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2:20 pm
And you’re an illiterate motherfucker who had your wife’s cat euthanized without her knowledge.
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3:42 pm
I can read fine.
It was my cat. And it was suffering.
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3:49 pm
Women aren’t always the most informed voters and may be more likely to vote based on emotion.
As Volatire put it, the purprose of government is to curb human emotion and make it so that reason rules.
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4:55 pm
“Women aren’t always the most informed voters and may be more likely to vote based on emotion.”
Source?
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5:19 pm
“Women aren’t always the most informed voters and may be more likely to vote based on emotion.”
Actually, PEOPLE in general aren’t always the most informed voters. I, for one, refuse to vote UNLESS I am well-informed on the candidates and issues on the ballot.
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6:42 pm
So I would assume you have never voted before?
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4:48 pm
This was very funny.
It has been scientifically proven that men have superior spatial ability.
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5:21 pm
And it has been scientifically proven that you are a sexist, bigoted idiot.
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5:31 pm
No…
Why are you so full of hate?, Why do you hate GOD?. The only reason you come to this great Christian website is to promote Sin and to persecute good Christians.
You are a misandrist – female supremacist – cyber terrorist.
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5:38 pm
“No…”
Yes.
“Why are you so full of hate?, Why do you hate GOD?.”
Why do you put extra punctuation after each remark? You don’t need a comma or period following a question mark. That’s basic English grammar.
As for your questions… I’m agnostic. I respect other people’s religions and deities. I do NOT respect, much less tolerate, the misogynistic, ill-informed BULLSHIT that pours forth from the mouths of people who then try to claim that it’s part of their religion. It isn’t.
“The only reason you come to this great Christian website is to promote Sin and to persecute good Christians.”
I came here to spread tolerance, understanding, and actual FACTS, not the sort of bullshit and lies that you claim is “good”.
“You are a misandrist – female supremacist – cyber terrorist.”
Considering that I am closer to my brothers than my sisters, and that some of my closest friends are boys, I’d have to disagree. I see men and women as EQUAL. As for being a “cyber terrorist”… well, I haven’t done anything to earn that title, but thanks anyway.
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6:45 pm
“You are a misandrist – female supremacist – cyber terrorist.”
And you’re a misogynist – male supremacist.
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11:03 pm
Women got all in a hissy about men leaving the toilet seat up and we just take it quietly. We saying something about their proper place under a man and they get all up in arms. Go figure.
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5:19 pm
“Claire, you must be super clueless.”
No, I think I understand your opinion about women quite well. Case in point: “Crazy women, first voting, now this. Amazing.”
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5:25 pm
You know what Claire? I’d Vote for RD in a heartbeat. Sure she has some different ideas, but she has a level head. I’d trust her governing my state. Not only that but Id trust and respect who she votes for too. You on the other hand are just plain loony. RD is a born leader.
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5:31 pm
I would probably vote for Claire, though. She’s fighting fire with fire here. She gets no respect from anyone, and she has every right to say what she does, especially since you (and others) continue to make personal attacks on her character.
You have made numerous comments on how women shouldn’t be allowed to vote or drive. What sort of nonsense is that? If you’re all for women having equal rights as men (which is what is at the ROOT of feminism), that’s fine. Don’t constantly flip-flop between sides.
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5:34 pm
You know I respect you RD. You at least read and listen. Claire objects to everything without giving it a chance.
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5:39 pm
And she has every right to. Maybe you should try seeing things from HER perspective.
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5:57 pm
What perspective? At least you list goals and have an objective. What are her goals?
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6:42 pm
That doesn’t explain this: “Crazy women, first voting, now this. Amazing.”
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6:45 pm
You must have not read my article. I’m hurt. You know everything Adam had said by heart
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6:49 pm
Please tell me the name of this “article” that makes it acceptable to call female rights a joke.
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6:03 pm
“What perspective? At least you list goals and have an objective. What are her goals?”
For one, she’s studying at an actual COLLEGE (not a “trade school”, as you constantly accuse) to become a veterinarian, a course of study that is remarkably rigorous and difficult (as animals CANNOT tell you what is wrong, whereas humans can). She’s volunteered in hospitals since she was a teenager.
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6:08 pm
My wife is a Veterinarian, a real DVM +some post doc education.
She is not going to veterinary school.
I’m talking about her agenda here. You have made great strides in helping me understand your cause, marriage, freedom other things. She just enjoys being a naysayer.
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4:26 am
If i ever met you. I would kill you. YOur sick. There is something wrong with you and you need help. I dont know how people like you exists. Your crazy.
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10:51 am
Bull dykes like Cody are dangerously violent. Their backyards are full of the graves of God fearing men.
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4:18 pm
Im a gay loving man who loves getting pounded in the ass by huge black guys like Kobe Bryant. PLus i voted for Obama the Anti-Christ to bring fire to out nation. Im gonna find you and give you the dirtiest SAnchez of all time and lick your ass clean with my moist moist tongue. I CRAVE ASS NECTAR! Im gonna find you cause i have your full name. Im gonna show up to your house with all my Lesbian and Gay friends and were gonna run the biggest train you can possible imagine on you. Sadomasochistic-homo-necro-beastieality all over your living room. douceing your children with man fluids. Soon. Soon. Soon. When you wake up and find your family deflowered. Just know, BIG BOY was there.
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6:15 pm
i would just like to point out that in many, many, many, many, many, many, MANY cases, at least in the case of teenagers but often in any/all cases, women have lower driver insurance rates than men.
IN OTHER WORDS, INSURANCE COMPANIES EXPECT MORE MEN TO GET IN CAR ACCIDENTS THAN WOMEN.
just saying.
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6:58 pm
Lies !!!
Like you female supremacist always say:
sources? SOURCES??? “RAWR”.
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7:03 pm
It’s a common insurance policy. Men have remarkably high insurance rates (much higher than those of women) up until age 25, when they decrease. Look it up yourself, moron.
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7:06 pm
“Look it up yourself”
ill remeber that next time you ask me for a source
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7:15 pm
It’s a basic fact, however:
http://www.autos.com/auto-insurance/car-insurance-rates-men-vs-women
http://www.insurance.com/auto-insurance/safety/are-men-better-drivers-than-women.aspx
Essentially, women tend to get in minor accidents, while men tend to get in more destructive accidents. As a result, men get higher insurance rates.
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8:09 pm
Do a quick Google (or Bing) search, the terms being “car insurance Men versus women”.
Essentially, women tend to get in minor accidents, while men tend to get in more destructive accidents. As a result, men get higher insurance rates.
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8:24 pm
I’m not saying you’re wrong at all.
Teens-20s higher than girls
30s -65 men are often lower, but not always.
65+ men higher again.
Thanks for saying Bing. Shows you pay attention.
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10:53 am
Every body knows that women cause the accidents that men get into. And then the women just drive off, unaware of what they have done as they gab on the phone.
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12:37 pm
Considering that, when my older sister got into a car accident, it was because the man driving a truck behind her failed to stop in time at a stop sign, and rear-ended her, and then the man sped off before my sister could recover, I’d have to disagree.
The police did, of course, catch the man.
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11:13 pm
“Women got all in a hissy about men leaving the toilet seat up and we just take it quietly. We saying something about their proper place under a man and they get all up in arms. Go figure.”
Because a toilet seat is a small thing. I personally don’t care.
Saying that women are inferior to men, and therefore cannot do anything (except give birth, raise children, cook, and clean) better than men is absolute bullshit.
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8:39 am
Sign this petition to get rid of this site!!!
http://www.petitiononline.com/cworg999/petition.html
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8:43 am
Sign this petition to get rid of this site!
http://www.petitiononline.com/cworg999/petition.html
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8:47 am
I have the power to end the hate on this site and thats what im going to do. This site is pathetic.
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10:57 am
Cody, I have reported your terrorists threats to the FBI.
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12:40 pm
What “terrorist threats”? He just said he was going to end the hate on this site. That’s just a sensible statement.
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4:38 pm
“Women got all in a hissy about men leaving the toilet seat up and we just take it quietly. We saying something about their proper place under a man and they get all up in arms. Go figure.”
Maybe because there’s truth in that leaving the toilet seat up is a nuisance but there is no truth in the belief that women are inferior to men. After all, the toilet seat needs to be down 3/4 of the time, as men can’t shit with the toilet seat up.
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4:42 pm
“It was my cat. And it was suffering.”
No, it was clearly your wife’s cat and you simply didn’t like it.
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4:46 pm
“It keeps women out of the kitchen and then who is going to feed babies?”
The fathers?
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