Atheist’s Learn to Use Beards from Homo Gay Community
Atheist Evolutionists and Creationist critics are borrowing some strategies from the homo gay community in the continuing war against Christians by using beards. These Godless monkey’s uncles are trying to win arguments and break free of their well-earned stereotype of hapless hairier-than-a-goat “Darwin” appearance with debate distracting hipster facial fashions.
“But Jesus had a beard! Why would Atheists ever wear a beard?”
Atheists are punctuating their evolution arguments with asymmetrical facial hair shaved and sometimes stripe-dyed to resemble the tail of a monkey wrapping around the face and under the nose.
When seeing this for the first time, the mind is sent reeling with how this facial hair got so monkey-fied. Did they cover their face in gum paste or sticky juices while a hair shedding monkey sat on their shoulder? It can throw a serious debate or discussion off kilter and that is what the Atheist Evolutionists want to happen.
But What Can I Do to Defeat this Intimidating Menace?
Be on the lookout for the Monkey Tail beard and look at as many examples as you can so you can desensitize yourself to this distracting debate method.
Duct Tape that Sucker. Many of these monkey wearing bearded hobos are heavy drinkers. While passed out under the influence, one can easily use stealth and speed to one’s advantage. Duct tape has a 1001 uses, this is number 639. Remember to pray first.
Call your local chamber of commerce and education boards to support an adopted acceptable beard policy for employment. Just as it is not acceptable for a man to wear a dress, it should not be acceptable for a man to look like he’s got a monkey on his face.
Use social shame. “What is wrong with your face?” said in a crowded area can shock the goat cheese back into some of these youngsters. After all they are simply following what they see as the cool crowd.
Who knows what these crazy Atheists with their Evolution pandering are thinking! One thing’s for sure, they rejecting the visually pleasant, symmetrical beards like Jesus and Moses wore.
Just take a look at these examples, Mom must be so proud – NOT!
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Blanche Beecham
"Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM
8:39 pm
The collapsing morale code in this country is getting scarier and scarier every day. I don’t think it is a coincidence that the first photo looks like a cat’s tail, as cat lovers are known to be child abusers and poisoners of the elderly.
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9:08 pm
Oh, Ice.
It it embarrassing to admit, but that third photograph is my sister’s kid Duane. You can see how disgusted Myrtle is with him. Our only hope is he finds some liberated Atheist woman and changes his last name.
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3:46 am
Wait, you are hoping that he distances himself from you, because you disagree with the way he dresses and acts? You actually support intolerance?
The reasoning behind this is, as I understand it, to promote asymmetry, and imperfection. I don’t see anything wrong with that.
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9:42 pm
Can’t tell if trolling…
or just stupid.
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9:46 pm
Real men either shave or they don’t. You don’t turn your face into a carnival freakshow.
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9:52 pm
It really is about setting acceptable standards for behavior and appearance. When we ignore some of these flagrant abuses of freedom, tyranny wins.
It is like when a neighborhood lets that one homeowner go a few weeks longer than everybody else without mowing the lawn, the next thing you know everybody’s property values fall.
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9:58 pm
Will you shut up? Go make dinner or clean your bed or whatever, women like you shouldn’t be talking.
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10:03 pm
Lubricious Nuisance,
Why must you always reply to my comments with your thinly veiled references to the boudoir?
Please stop stalking me or I shall contact the authorities.
Kind regards,
BB
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10:13 pm
I’m insulting you, you dimwit. Stop being a hypocritical elitist whore and I’ll stop insulting you.
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10:18 pm
You may never have me. You must realize this.
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10:26 pm
Why the fuck would I want you? You’re a brainless dimwit who refuses to acknowledge that you’re a hypocrite, you don’t do any research, nor do you understand how anything works. You’re the retard who wants to see Obama’s placenta and you expect every other woman to act like a trophy wife, while you think you have some special right to spout your stupid mouth off. You try to teach man, a grave sin, and you are incredibly pompous and ignorant.
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10:27 pm
Some of these atheists should consider growing their vocabularies as well. One will never be perceived as educated or worthy of a good union with a respectable family if they talk like a two bit prostitute or common dock worker.
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10:19 pm
“Why must you always reply to my comments with your thinly veiled references to the boudoir?”
Either practice what you preach, bitch, or shut the fuck up. What makes you so special that you can tell all of the other women of the world that they’re not allowed to have opinions or get jobs while doing exactly the opposite yourself?
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10:19 pm
“You may never have me. You must realize this.”
Why would L.N want a dried up old whore with a loose, diseased vagina?
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10:27 pm
Atheists, not atheist’s. Come on now.
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10:42 pm
When I see a Performance artist of this one’s caliber, a piece of theater’s honor is restored. The work, gentle yet unyielding, deftly traces the faults and foibles of the atheist-liberal regime in metered step. More than Dickens’ crumbs and yellowed teeth, she brightly shines hope to spinsters everywhere, making the cake whole.
She is a hero, a Godless Goddess Gabrielle trumpeting the hope of the unknowing with dark plumes from her mighty brass horns.
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11:38 pm
I can’t tell if I agree or not.
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11:50 pm
Praise click to you Iceman for your always present honesty. It’s what makes you a great man.
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2:35 am
Look at you photo asshole you have a mustache too.A pretty stupid one to be honest.
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5:41 am
I can’t keep up with the names of mustaches anymore. In my generation, Ice’s mustache would be considered quite gentlemanly.
My 17 year old niece’s boyfriend has a mustache called a “Porn Pig”. It is supposed to be some veiled reference to a cross between a pornographer and CHiPs officer, which is ridiculous because he is a modeling agent that works part time as a security officer at the mall.
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2:53 pm
My atheist friends and I agree: this is one of the best articles ever written. The comments only make it better, serving as the unexpected “happy ending” to it all. Thank you, BB.
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2:25 am
these people are disgusting .. they would get jumped if they went into an alley here
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10:09 pm
Is this site real or all satirical? If its real i feel bad for you people. I had a good laugh.
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