For years the gays have been the greatest threat to the purity of America and marriage, but now we find an even more grave threat. The eternally calculating Chinese have created new death weapons, more deadly than their SARS and avian bird flu attacks combined! It makes Pearl Harbor look like a 4-year-old child’s fizzling sparkler on the 4th of July.
Real American scientists have discovered the first case of a man who caught a STD from a mosquito. In the picture above, you see the back of American biologist Brian Foy of Colorado state. According to Science magazine, Foy was researching malaria in Senegal when a band of Chinese yellows stung him with a bite more fierce than he’d ever experienced. They unleashed a cluster of STD enhanced Zika mosquitos at Foy’s camp and like a surprise gay attack, one got Foy in the back. The results were the same: disease.
What makes this story even more gruesome is that Foy unknowingly transferred this STD to his wife. The Zika virus is must like dengue, but itchier and deadlier. You can imagine where this has spread on Mrs. Foy and the Chinese likely laugh now with great happiness at what they have done.
This is the new weapon of destruction. Chinese will find ways to get these mosquitos over here, then they will bite all types of men and we will carry around this Zika virus. We will do our duty with our wives and then when they itch in urban betrayal, they will think it was because we were sleeping with the babysitter. This will of course not be true, but another devious machination from the Chinese empire.
Foy reports, “My wife wasn’t happy with what happened afterwards” and according to a new study from the CDC, the onset of this virus after sexual relations is very swift.