Closet Homosexuals On Heathen Radio Green960 Claim Christwire’s Interns Are Closet Homosexuals
A typical Saturday Night For Cory
Often times, here at Christwire we preform Christian services for heathen organizations, such as the advice our staunchly Christian interns, Mike Watson and Bryan Blake, have been giving out to the listeners of Green 360 Radio for the past few weeks. However, Lex and Cory, the hosts of the blasphemous show, had penises on their mind last week when they blatantly tempted these two pillars of the community with homosexual offers.
After it was inferred that Mike and Blake were possibly homogays, Lex, who isn’t even American, let loose a barrage of Satan’s foul breath against the innocent prophets of Christ. At one point he even invited them to frequent a gay bar he is a regular at. Cory, being the ‘bottom’ of the duo, mostly kept his mouth shut and silently went along with the blasphemy his homo partner was spewing.
I’m sure they expected their Satanic sermon against Christwire would fall under our radar, and it very well nearly did. But the all knowing conservative ire of our newset writer, who has adopted the name John Christwing, clued me into it late this morning. It caused such a ruckus in the office my picture of Reagan nearly got knocked over.
I decided to put my superpower of investigative journalism to work and found out a few interesting facts about these two penis mongers, Cory and Lex. The show is based out of San Fransisco and more than a few of their listeners are gays. On the flip side, there are almost no black listeners. Here at Christwire it is absolutely the other way around. We love black people, Cory and Lex are racist.
And gay.
The allegations thrown at Mike and Blake were nothing more than a liberal smoke screen to take the attention away from their own shortcomings. The fact that this Lex fellow has knowledge of homogay bars and their locations and time’s of business is more than a little suspicious. Underneath all the jokes during their ridiculous tirade, I detected him flirting a bit with Mike. Of course Mike is a decent Christian and didn’t notice it, but was shocked when I mentioned it to him later and has expressed to me worry that Lex may be masturbating to the idea of dating him.
It goes without saying our hard working interns have nothing to do with homosexuality. As for Lex tempting them with homogay sin, it will not work. He will not get his fantasy of a Christwire manwich.
Lex issued a challenge to our interns that they should ‘come out of the closet’ on his show. We now issue a challenge back: Lex, accept Jesus and Reagan into your heart and mind, admit you love penis, and commit your vote to the Republican party. Or you can leave America and go live with your fellow Communists in red Soviet China. Your choice.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Alex Keating
Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.
1:46 pm
These silly homos seem to just play ass leap frog all day!
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9:14 pm
Tyson, Are you getting tired of this? Well, ApertureScience hosts a very large selection of people who also share your beliefs and views! Check them out at /wingnut/
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1:57 pm
I thought team ChrisTWire did an excellent job on this “progressive” gay-stream media outlet.
Praising clicking!
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2:11 pm
I listened to way too much of the show last night.
Did anyone notice how one of them is a dominant and one of them is submissive. I don’t remember which one by name but the one who was making fun of Dodger fans in the beginning is the evil Dom. The other one I almost feel sorry for. He seems bright and intelligent, but it’s like he’s being forced to do their communist show by the bully.
Also why do they give the phone in number out constantly, but no one ever calls in?
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2:38 pm
Fun fact: Every homophobic “author” on this site is, in fact, a closeted homosexual.
I’m sure you’ll all feel much better when you step out of your closets. There’s a big, exciting world to discover, you know.
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2:43 pm
Tyson has already told me he’s gay. We just have to wait for the others to follow suit. And just a side note on the picture at the beginning of the article: butterflies are not gay, they are badass.
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2:46 pm
I think the only exception to the rule is Blanche, who is just a common whore.
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8:45 pm
Nothing in my countenance would lead anyone to perceive me as common.
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9:38 pm
Except for your obsession with your personal appearance and the sexuality of others. You also seem to believe that only women who are superficially “attractive” can be good “mothers”.
Sounds to me like you’re a common whore, recruiting others to your line of work.
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4:55 pm
The statistics show that all of you conservative closet fruitcakes have been touched by many priests, pastors, etc over the years and probably smoked crystal meth with them as well. We feel sorry for you and we cordially invite all of you inbred, backward, crystal meth smoking closet creatures of christwire, to to use our radio outlet as a forum for you to work out your issues and finally come into the light of your obvious homosexuality.
Peace, Love, and Mao
Lex
Host of Radio School on Green 960am San Francisco
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5:04 pm
Is this really Lex? If so how come no one calls your show? I mean you give out your phone number often enough, but in two weeks of listening to you it seems like you have no listeners. I almost feel sorry for you.
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5:08 pm
“I almost feel sorry for you.”
I feel sorry for your wife, having to live with a chauvinistic prick who relegated her to a life of childbearing and housekeeping.
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5:14 pm
You know nothing about our marriage. She sure seems happier in life than you do.
Also tell the one that can’t be named to stop replying to my posts. I’ve blocked her and so all I see are black bars (which is how I know it’s her).
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5:17 pm
“You know nothing about our marriage. She sure seems happier in life than you do.”
And you know nothing about my life of my happiness.
“Also tell the one that can’t be named to stop replying to my posts. I’ve blocked her and so all I see are black bars (which is how I know it’s her).”
I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.
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5:18 pm
If you’d ACTUALLY blocked someone, you’d see nothing.
Common thing about the internet.
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5:09 pm
Are you listening to their show whenever it is on, or only when your foolish Christwire “hosts” are featured on it?
If the latter, then the answer is obvious: people don’t want a bunch of bigoted, closeted homosexuals to answer their questions with Bible quotes.
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5:17 pm
Let em know RD let em know!!!!
Peace Love and Lenin!!!
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5:20 pm
Indeed!
I’d love to help out on the show, by the way, but I’m a college student up in Washington. At least I’ve stumbled my way out of my own closet!
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8:02 pm
Because their homosexual listeners are too scared to call while the voice of truth is present. I bet if our holy followers called in, the call screener would block them right away. Fags hate reasoning.
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6:03 pm
Lex, those statistics only work for Catholics and Jews, neither of which rear their ugly heads here at Christwire. Decent Republicans don’t smoke Methane nor do we get molested, because we have both parents present in the house when we are growing up.
I do, however, see that you mentioned Mao. I see you have made your choice between China and America.
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6:17 pm
So, you admit that you’re a closeted homosexual?
Finally. Alex, you’re just one step closer to having a much happier life.
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7:09 pm
I believe in family values, RD. Homosexuals do not fit into my Idea of family values.
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7:34 pm
Which is why you’re so miserable. Is it lonely in that closet?
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4:54 pm
Lex – I think you are a masterbator. Good for you!
These christwire folks are masterbators too, don’t you think?
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6:10 pm
I am gathering Lex is the evil dominant one.
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6:13 pm
Admit it, you jerk off thinking about getting your ass pounded by a thick rod.
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6:18 pm
No, and what does that subject have to do with anything? And I thought you were the one who supported the rights of those kind of sex acts. Not making fun of them.
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6:28 pm
I do support the rights to perform those acts. However, I know that a good way to piss off a homophobe is to suggest that he wants a good cock ramming.
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6:34 pm
How would that piss me off? You only make yourself look like you think the act is one to be made fun of.
Like when you make fun of me and veterans. It doesn’t bother that you say something about me. It’s your making fun of the act (like is wrong in your eyes) and the veterans.
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6:36 pm
Claire,
Here are some worry dolls to tell your pain to.
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6:40 pm
“How would that piss me off? You only make yourself look like you think the act is one to be made fun of.”
Considering how you “bleeped out” the word “boob” I wouldn’t put it past you to be disgusted by the act of sodomy.
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6:41 pm
Its disrespectful (the slang, not the body part). I will not say it.
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6:46 pm
What, you mean when someone gets called a boob? You think that warrants bleeping it out? What a jerk.
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6:49 pm
And you are on a site for conservative values. Why do you sound shocked when we practice conservative values? Why are you even here?
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6:54 pm
“Why are you even here?”
You know, the amount of time that you waste asking that question over and over is time that could be spent jerking off the veterans.
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6:56 pm
Yep, you don’t have an answer do you?
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8:42 pm
You do know that this is a parodious site?
http://christwirebook.com/
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7:00 pm
“Yep, you don’t have an answer do you?”
No, I don’t. Oh, and the VA Center called – apparently you were scheduled for 4:30 but never showed.
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7:07 pm
I’m sure your family is super proud of you making fun of veterans. Equally proud are your Annie buddies.
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7:08 pm
I’m sure your family is proud that you consider Mexicans to be dirty.
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7:16 pm
Illegal aliens are dirty. Criminals are dirty. I’ll tell my family again.
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7:24 pm
What about their poor children? Are they dirty? Are they criminals?
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7:45 pm
That’s a broad question. If they continue their parents ways past an age that they should be responsible for themselves, then yes, they are criminals. Or if they commit crimes, they are dirty criminals. I don’t care if they are Mexican or French Canadian. Dirty.
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7:49 pm
Hmm, your continual use of the word “dirty” leads me to ask this question: why all the hate?
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8:29 pm
You are a problem againt Franch Canadian?
Because I am one. And we don’t fucking care who is gay. They are humain being, they deserve rights like everyone, they can be sweet, etc. My best friend are gay and I love him. Even he like sodomy haha I think you are scared about gays because you are one on them. You would kiss a beautiful guy with a sexy body!! Hahaa 
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8:36 pm
In Vancouver, when visiting the Olympics, there were billboards all over the place that said “don’t let Quebec secede, kick them out first”. They were also in Edmonton and Kelowna this past summer.
I think if the Canadians feel that way…that says something.
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8:31 pm
hmmm ya have something against french canadian ? because we are proud people that don’t follow americanism ? and we think that americanism is Only a disguised imperialism
actually we doN,t care about you if you don’t meddle in our own business yet you meddle in everyone Business so we care about you
as for Mister alex kearting Mao has MANY meaning not just the didactor
and yes many people prefer china over america because of douchebag Like you
at least China they didn’t hide the fact they execute people Like you do with GITMO
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8:24 pm
The closet gays Mike Watson and Bryan Blake finally come out of the christwire closet and see the light on Radio School with Cory and Lex tonight at 7:45pm Pacific time http://www.green960.com
Let the Jihad begin!!!
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8:36 pm
Lex,
Our church has set a wager line on your show tonight.
The over/under on:
Callers 0
Amount of times Lex puts down or shames Cory into submission 178
Non-chrisTwire listeners 7
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8:46 pm
August we actually invite our readers to call, but doubt many will feel the need to talk to such homosexual radio hosts.
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8:52 pm
I tried calling 2 weeks ago but no one answered. I imagine their hands were “busy”.
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9:33 pm
The call in line wont work out in the wastelands of whatever inbred backwater you live in. You can email if you know what that is, at coryandlex@gmail.com
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9:34 pm
How come you spent the first half the show talking about men putting things in their mouths?
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9:45 pm
admit it you got a little excited….
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9:47 pm
I am having to mix holy water with my scotch just to not pass out over your filth.
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10:01 pm
I am near tears with how these greedy homosexual radio hosts are treating Bryan. It is an abomination.
I sent a question about why Mike and Bryan have the same jacket on their online portraits. My quilting circle has wondered for some time if this is a uniform. I guess it isn’t controversial enough.
bb
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10:07 pm
They read my question, but didn’t answer it. Probably scared of the truth.
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9:12 pm
Are you being serious or are you a cleverly disguised satirical clown?
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9:41 pm
I tried calling both times and no answer. I’m not.giving my email to some homosexual, so you can email me anal fisting porn
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10:18 pm
Lex:
Update
Still no callers, we actually set the opening line at .5, but no one took the wager. So it lowered to 0.
Lex puts down or shames Cory into submission now sits at 93
Non chisTwire listeners 4 (1 non family)
Our church has set a wager line on your show tonight.
The over/under on:
Callers 0
Amount of times Lex puts down or shames Cory into submission 178
Non-chrisTwire listeners 7
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7:06 pm
Our Church put together Heathen Bingo cards. I’m in for a cool Benjamin if Lex and Cory use the words, Homo-gay, closeted, Atheists, or outright make a plea to Satan.
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5:19 pm
Is there a show tonight?
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5:41 pm
Yes
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5:45 pm
Great, I am looking forward being 10% of their audience tonight.
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9:08 pm
Now they are blaming no callers on people not being able to call while driving
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9:56 pm
Hmmmm sounds like a gay excuse to me
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9:58 pm
Sounds like you’re a bigot.
Only idiots and homophobes use the word “gay” in a negative manner.
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10:05 pm
No, you just want to think that because you feel bad for you choice of being gay. People use hay everyday. Even you homosexuals say it in a negative manner at each other and to say you don’t is a flat out lie.
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10:07 pm
my horses use it too.
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10:06 pm
Did you hear them admitting to doing illegal drugs? Then they talked about rubbing pot on each others crotch? These people are really sick.
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10:14 pm
“No, you just want to think that because you feel bad for you choice of being gay.”
Actually, I felt awful when I was pretending to be heterosexual. It’s wonderful to know that I can be myself and feel no shame in who I’m attracted to.
“People use hay everyday.”
You mean “gay”.
“Even you homosexuals say it in a negative manner at each other and to say you don’t is a flat out lie.”
I certainly don’t. But, please, enlighten me: How did you mean the sentence, “Hmmmm sounds like a gay excuse to me” to sound? I mean, it’s pretty clear that you hate anyone who identifies as homosexual, Tyson.
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