• Five Reasons Why Gays Need Their Own Cemeteries

    April 9, 2011 9:39 pm 46 comments

    Last week, The GA Voice reported that Atlanta’s Crest Lawn Cemetery is creating a separate space for gay people. An LGBTQ cemetery was built in Denmark in 2008. As the acceptance of queer lifestyles becomes more widespread, we will be increasingly confronted with how we should allow them to live their lives–and how to treat them in death, too. Should those in the LGBTQ community have their own cemetery? I, as a God-fearing Christian and reformed homosexual, support the idea, and here is why:

    5. It’s efficient and a great time saver. If you and your congregation are anything like me and mine, you know just how hard it is to navigate today’s cemeteries. Meticulously scanning tombstones and monument inscriptions for any evidence of homosexuality or other forms of ungodly sexual deviance is very time-consuming and takes away from our ability to save souls. While we can do nothing to save the already Hell-bound deceased, having a special area cordoned off for rotting homosexuals will allow us to better target surviving members of LGBTQ families with God’s message of love when and where these people need it most–at the site of their homosexual loved ones’ resting place.

    4. It’s a good attempt at strengthening the moral fiber of our country. This country is suffering. Our moral fiber needs serious bulking as we have become painfully constipated with sexual permissiveness and gender role clusterfudgery. Our collective rectum bleeds from the hemorrhoids of godlessness! Creating a LGBTQ-only cemetery space is a laudable and exemplary effort on behalf the cemetery owners to separate the departed based on their most unforgivable earthly sin: that of loving someone of the same gender. The LGBTQ-only burial site can be of great educational value to our youth who are so in need of consistent, truthful messages about God’s plan. Field trips to this and similar sites can help children understand the fate that awaits those who choose a homosexual lifestyle: death.

    3. It’s good for our communities’ ecological health. Keeping sick people separate from normal people, even in death, may seem harsh to some, yet it has been practiced by advanced civilizations for many centuries. The spread of Ebola and cholera epidemics, for example, have slowed by the careful disposal of remains from infected people. Keeping the ill and otherwise morally weak quarantined (both while they live and while their wayward sinning bodies prepare to meet Satan) has been proven to be an effective barrier against the transmission of disease through soil and water contamination. By tracking where homosexuals are buried, we can be proactive in maintaining the safety of our communities and families. Unchecked homosexuality levels in water have been known to activate the Gay gene in some lab experiments with mice. Let’s not let that happen here with our drinking water.

    2. It’s God’s will to keep homosexuals separate from heterosexuals. Some people among us have been tricked into thinking we are all equal and God loves us. They believe He wants us to love each other without reservation. But He is very clear on hating homosexuals. Leading an out LGBTQ life violates His laws of order in His kingdom. If He wanted us to be homosexual, He would have made us homosexual. It is therefore imperative that we keep homosexuals separate from others in life–and in death, too, for good measure. When is the last time you saw a Gay lion buried next to heterosexual God-fearing, family lion? Hard pressed for the answer? You should be: it’s not natural and doesn’t happen! In nature, the Christian lion smites all non-believers and punishes those that transgress against God’s blessed laws of heterosexual union.

    1. It’s a pre-emptive strike against reanimated gay corpses. Before my parents legally immigrated to the United States through available channels unlike many border-criminals today, they lived in a remote Central American village. For Gays, those confused people who lied down with other people as people do, acceptance among the villagers was rare. (But, two towns over, those who practiced homosexuality were considered two-spirited and had a special standing.) Persecution of Gays was the norm. When caught, they would be buried alive by village churchpersons. Folkloric songs and tales have been told about those whose desire to love another of the same gender is so strong, it trumps even death. They have been known to rise from their graves, searching for the nearest nightclub. While not widely reported on in the United States, this Gay zombie phenomenon has been observed in other places throughout the globe. If we can keep Gays cornered to their own areas in cemeteries we will be one dance-step ahead of those that choose to rise again.

    Let us pray the Lord’s protection against those who would do us and our God-fearing lifestyle harm, specifically the two-spirited and Gay zombies. Amen.

    Have a blessed day!

    Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel through social media. .
    How does this post make you feel?
    • Excited
    • Fascinated
    • Amused
    • Shocked
    • Sad
    • Angry
    About The Author
    Susana Quiñones Susana Quiñones believes that all our individual problems and, indeed, the entire world’s problems can be solved through unwavering adherence to God’s plan as articulated in the Bible. Follow her on Twitter.

    Facebook Conversations