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RedditRecently the results of a study of taint measurements was released that revealed a corollary between the distance between the scrotal sack and the anus to human fertility in males.
Since we are enjoying the final four game with several Christian men as well as some confused Atheists, I thought it would be a good time to take some measurements from the field as well as run a cross analysis of those findings with the data array from the original study. As my friends all know, I love working with numbers and science is a casual pastime.
What I discovered was amazing. Not only is larger taint a sign of vigorous fertility, but it is also a sign of Godliness and more reliably, spiritual maturity.
How to Measure Taint At Home
1.) First, thoroughly wash your hands in warm soapy water. I like to sing “How Great Thou Art” to ensure enough time has passed during the cleansing to remove pollutants and residue.
2.) Make sure you have your equipment.
You will need gloves for those that request them. I’m not sure why some asked if I had any, but if it gives them comfort to wear them I have no issue obliging the “subject”.
You will need a flexible tape measure. I used a quilting tape after the hardware metal tape measure nearly ruined the chances for Justin (not his real name) to ever be a Daddy when he received a nasty slice. I used the automatic recoil button too soon in the process and learned quickly from the mistake. Flexible fabric tape measures will not leave a mark, so I feel this is an appropriate. I also do not recommend what is called a “straight edge” for hygienic concerns.
You will need to cloak yourself in the scientific method. While it would be easy to approach this task in a friendly manner, this is for science so a terse and professional demeanor is required. Refer to the men as “subject 100” or “TS100”. This will create a clinical environment to take the measurements and adds credibility to the study.
You will also need a small flash light. I used some duct tape and a book light, but a discreet light source is helpful as well as reading glasses if you need them. Remember your accuracy is dependent on the precision of your measurements so you need to take precautions for the sake of the study.
Baby wipes are also helpful for the more wiping challenged of the group.
3.) You will also need a clipboard to write down your findings. Paper and pencil is great for this. It was suggested that we use TS107’s iPhone to simply take pictures and find an iTaint application, but it just didn’t seem to have the quality controls demanded for this study.
4.) Take a deep breath, it is time to measure. Okay, the first one was pretty tough. I asked TS101 (I practiced on the dog first, so he was TS100) to get on all fours and ‘stay’. He forgot to remove his trousers so we had to start over after he dropped his drawers. When the subject is in the all fours position, the Clinician will need to make sure his knees are far enough apart to get a measurement. Refer the subject to the baby wipes at this point if required.
5.) Measuring from the base of the scrotal sack to the center of the anus sounds easy, but it is isn’t. This is living tissue and sometimes the subject will turn his head around like one of those cockpit photos NASA takes before the Space Shuttle launches. It can disturb a person trying to do science!
6.) Once you have the measurements it is best not to reveal them to the subject. First, men are competitive and since this was being done in a game day atmosphere, I didn’t think it was fair to create any undo ill will. I did give them the data set to speculate upon and as proof of participation.
7.) Analyze the data. If you are familiar with some of the spreadsheet programs like SuperCalc or VisiCalc it should be a breeze. From my graph below, one can see that the Christian men had much larger taint measurements than the short shifted Atheists.
If anyone has additional data they would like to present, please comment below.
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"Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM 
Praise you BB for your devotion to the sciences.
Recently an atheist liberal here questioned the validity of newton’s third law of motion. Not only did she claim she knew it, but simultaneously demonstrated ignorance as to the basis of the law itself. Her argument was that increased weight does not add to the energy required to make an object start or stop.
The next day I saw that the science for dummies people used her post as demonstration for use at a trade school.
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Why were you hanging around a trade school like a creeper?
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You obviously can’t read.
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Pfft! This coming from the man who can’t spell to save his life.
“The next day I saw that the science for dummies people used her post as demonstration for use at a trade school.”
“Demonstration for use at a trade school” indicates that you were at the school and saw the demonstration.
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Well, women aren’t naturally suited to science as evidenced by so few studying science. She probably attended some public socialist school.
I really hope I can inspire our schoolchildren to take up the sciences. The study I just reported would make a great science fair project!
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““Demonstration for use at a trade school” indicates that you were at the school and saw the demonstration.”
Um, no it doesn’t. It is at best ambiguous.
“saw that the” is the key portion.
And your spelling as of late has been atrocious. At least I admit I’m a bad typist.
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Give me some examples of my atrocious spelling.
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Actually, I do not care to keep track like you do. It is such a childish endeavor that only highlights your true lack of what is being discussed.
But since you asked, I saw someone else post this to you some time ago. It is not a spelling error, but it is very entertaining nonetheless.
..
.
From: http://christwire.org/2011/03/10-videos-of-evil-cats-turning-on-their-owners/comment-page-1/#comment-73298
“The spelling errors of RD and myself are negligible.”
Reflexive Pronoun Use
It is incorrect to use “myself” alone as a subject, as in “Jake and myself went to town,” or alone as an object, as in “You will talk only to myself.”
Classic!!!!!
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Misplaced my reply earlier. Sorry BB.
Your science fair idea would make a great educational children’s idea.
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These liberals and their hate! My goodness when a woman gets involved in science they buzz like hornets!
They would probably call out Marie Curie as a whore when we should be blaming her for the disaster in Japan.
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“These liberals and their hate! My goodness when a woman gets involved in science they buzz like hornets!
They would probably call out Marie Curie as a whore when we should be blaming her for the disaster in Japan.”
Whoa whoa whoa, are you trying to claim that liberals DON’T approve of women in science? Because it’s the complete opposite, and you know it. It’s you and your ilk that think that women should be relegated to child-rearing and housekeeping. Most feminists tend to be liberal.
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Claire,
I cover feminist topics for a living. Feminists like yourself that try to label feminists cause more damage to women than any other threat we have.
Why can’t a woman chose to be a housekeeper, mother or scientist? Your narrow radical view holds our progress back. Finally your statement that most feminists are women is false. Only “feminists” that share your narrow radical view of what you think women’s roles should be tend to be liberal. Many women of all political views desire to be equal. Only people like you chose to do so by exhibiting irrational views and hatred.
Feel free to read my articles. If you need more info please ask. I’m here to help.
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Public socialist school … tell me How ncan a school be socialist if socialism Only didacte how to share ressource ( remember it’s an economic ideology Nothing to do with eductaion or any other thing as weell Simply economic
Your argument become invalid since you doN,t know what is socialist communist yet you label everything that you don’t like as socialist/communist bexcause in USA it’s evil since Reagan
if Reagan would not said that You would Love being communist and socialist which prove you are a Bunch of sheep
SHould I help also with some other definition since Youw ill learn new stuff today
Liberal = Liberalism = Liberation = FREEDOM : Tell me Blanche are you against Freedom ?
Republicanism there is actual 2 form the conservative and the progressive
Conservative : Banning every new technology science and other improvement to the country
Progressive they are somewhat Liberal yet share the republicanism (electing a President and officials)
Socialism : and I take the real definition not the american one) Helpign each other as the best as you can by giving money or food or lending a Hand they share almost everything
communism : similar to socialism yet with somewhat Liberalism in it COMMUNISM NEVER existed (doesnt require a government or Leader to run a country but small leader instead )
Totalitarian : control everything in a country : Theocracy, Republicanism, fascism
Authoritarian : everything is didacte by the leader yet not everyone can agree with him (close to tyranny)
enough with the differnet government definition
here a BIG help of what Might cause the downfall of USA : a Theocracy
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Thank you, but I fear your insight will be wasted on these degenerates.
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Mi Li,
Thanks for the foreigner’s viewpoint. Science is one language we all can understand.
To your point regarding a communal approach. Yes, I did consider just lining everyone up and quickly taking measurements, but due to the festive nature of the situation (everyone was there to watch the game) I had grave concerns that penis fencing might erupt amongst any closeted homosexuals in the group. We had a few that do not attend our church, so a more individualistic approach was utilized.
Thanks again for taking time out of being so hostile about women scientists and making a good point.
BB
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You. A scientist? LOL! You don’t even accept Evolution.
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Millennium has nothing against female scientists, just against you.
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This proves but one thing:
Blanche is a whore who uses science as an excuse to grope men.
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Put down the irrational hate and pick up a science book, RD.
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Don’t even talk about science you illiterate.
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Illiterate? Think again, Lizard.
Did you inquire or debate the pro’s and con’s of calipers vs fabric tape? No you did not; I did.
Did you review any real world applications or suggest other corollaries like taint and homosexuality? No you did not; I did.
As a lizard, you are too busy sunning yourself in the light of your own ignorance to ponder or even consider applications or perceptions outside of your reptilian world.
May God smite you with ants in your egg nest.
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First of all, dinosaurs are not lizards, you ape. And second of all, dinosaurs are warm blooded, just like you knuckle walking gorillas. What you described is not science. It is pseudoscience. Was this peer reviewed by someone other than Abe or Tyson?
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Dinosaur translates to terrible lizard.
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So? Many dinosaurs were named before the modern definition of lizard. Dinosaurs were warm blooded, some had feathers, and had their legs under their body. Contrast that with the cold blooded, featherless lizards.
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Hang on there, Lissardo.
The Scrotal sack is found on warm blooded animals because sperm must be kept cool so they won’t get warm in the body’s hot tub and die.
NO WHERE has it been found that dinosaurs have scrotal sacks. Their gonads were INTERNAL because they are COLD BLOODED.
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Do you have evidence, because last time I checked, soft tissue doesn’t fossilize, let alone complete internal organs. Do you have a fossil of a dinosaur with internal testes? I’ll answer for you. No, you don’t.
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So we should blindly accept something you can never prove? Is that what you’re saying, Raptor Jesus?
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//So we should blindly accept something you can never prove? Is that what you’re saying, Raptor Jesus?//
Sounds like Christianity to me.
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And dinosaurs were here first. So if dinosaurs are not lizards then perhaps its todays lizards that are incorrectly labeled.
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Holy shit! End of argument! Bravo.
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This site is the cest pool made by the devil to distract people from the real God.
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Sally, nowhere did I say that I don’t think a woman should have the right to choose to be a housewife if she so desires. Perhaps you should be speaking to August Weisz or Adam Nelson, who believe that the true and ONLY role of the woman is in the home ironing her husband’s pants.
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Claire, I suggest you choose your words more carefully. Also, I beg you reevaluate your perceived roll here. Why deflect on others instead of taking responsibility for your own actions?
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“The Scrotal sack is found on warm blooded animals because sperm must be kept cool so they won’t get warm in the body’s hot tub and die.
NO WHERE has it been found that dinosaurs have scrotal sacks. Their gonads were INTERNAL because they are COLD BLOODED.”
Because the scrotum isn’t made of bone, but of soft tissues. It wouldn’t last the several million years of fossilization.
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Fist of all, RD, Dinosaurs are only about 6,000 years old. Second, since by your ‘explanation’ of soft tissue fossilization you can’t prove they DID have a scrotal sack. Nice run around the mulberry bush, weasel.
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“Fist of all, RD, Dinosaurs are only about 6,000 years old.”
First, get the fist out of your vagina. I know it’s difficult, but I’m sure you can manage it.
Second, dinosaurs have been scientifically proven to have existed millions of years ago. The fossils, and the rocks that originally surrounded them, have been analysed multiple times, and are several million years old. Not six thousand.
“Second, since by your ‘explanation’ of soft tissue fossilization you can’t prove they DID have a scrotal sack.”
And you can’t prove that they didn’t.
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“get the fist out of your vagina.”
Again wonderful! Your parents must be so proud of your literary skills.
Reminds me of “Also, Central Park is a proper noun. Capatalise it”
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Wow, you’re an intellectual champion, PD. that must have been the 7th time I have seen you respond to RD with that same pseudo-rebuttal. That’s not even that, it’s more of an ad hominem attack.
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Actually it is the 17th time. She comes here on the attack every day. What does she expect? You liberals and your “Boo-hoo I don’t like this site so I will come attack it but I can’t take in return” attitude. You today also chose to attack someone else’s spelling.
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Yeah, but I don’t bring up the same spelling mistake 17 times where it doesn’t apply. If someone said they had perfect spelling, then I would bring it up.
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Stop being so nasty and making lewd, erroneous remarks about my vagina. I misspelled First.
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“First, get the fist out of your vagina. I know it’s difficult, but I’m sure you can manage it.”
No, see the thing about Blanche’s vagina is that it is so wide that it ISN’T difficult for her to get her fist out of it. From what I’ve heard it slides in and out quite easily, as do the liter coke bottles she enjoys shoving up there.
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“So we should blindly accept something you can never prove? Is that what you’re saying, Raptor Jesus?”
This coming from a christian. I am dying of laughter right now. Evolution has proof, unlike your book of bronze age fairy tales.
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BB, I find it funny how these people who come to this site for conservative values seem surprised at the content they find. It is not like this is their first visit to this site. And the site is about conservative values. It’s like going and watching that transformers movie and complaining that there is too much transforming going on.
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I just like to argue with idiots. I get banned from yahoo answers too much. People can’t handle a devil’s advocate.
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I like that answer and can respect it. Just don’t make it personal like a few do and we can continue to debate.
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I thought that taking on the mantle of scientific discovery would be one area all could embrace, but sadly there are a few with deeply personal issues as well as a need for dominance that tend to be the “turd in the soup” as the urban kids say.
I try to communicate on varied levels and even seemed to make a brief connection with the angry Millinean person.
Jesus loves us all so much, even the sinners and self pleasuring. Why can’t that be enough?
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The very basis of this article is unscientific. You try to pass subjective opinions off as objective fact.
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You didn’t do anything “scientific”. For it to have been a scientific study of any sort, you would have needed a much larger, more varied group of test subjects, not the men sitting around in your living room.
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So when students dissect a single frog in school is that not science? Should they be requires to dissect more frogs? How many frogs is enough? Who decides that? Keep your opinions to yourself please. We are all aware of how you feel about this author. Consider your point made now and forever. No need to pester her any longer.
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PD,
Thank you for your intellectual insight. I wish I could say more, but sadly anyone connected or praised by me is targeted for irrational hate by certain posters. I hope even this small gratitude won’t cause you any issues.
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Dissecting frogs is to teach students about anatomy.
For scientific studies that are trying to prove a new point (such as that having a larger taint measurement makes a man more “moral”), the individual(s) conducting the experiment needs a large, diverse group of subjects. That is why, when experiments are done to determine the potential usefulness and/or dangers of a drug or treatment, the tests are performed on a large, diverse group of subjects.
Blanche claims to have used eleven individuals in her living room (five atheists, six Christians) for her experiments. I must question her methods and the men measured, as it would be relatively easy for her to skew the results, or to have simply made everything up, including the experiment itself.
If she wants me to take her claims seriously, then she should actually perform the experiment properly: in a room with other scientists, with a large, diverse group of men to perform the tests on. It would be a relatively easy thing for her to do, really, rather than simply whine about how she’s being “scientific”.
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Oh my, now science has to be done in a room with other scientists? Who was the first scientist then?
Come on, tell the truth, are you playing a joke on us? Your fascination with this author seems really unhealthy.
And she’s only showing people how to run the experiment. Nowhere does she say this is the end to research. Your failure to grasp this very basic concept is disturbing. The article is actually “how to”.
If you dispute her results from her very small test group, then run your own test. Not only does she provide how but she encourages you to submit your own results. If you don’t want to do this then just shit the f up and go away. Don’t sit here and cry about how you don’t like her.
And anatomy is science. If you want to clarify and make further pointed complaints about the specific scientific method, then please use the right terms.
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Well, I was impressed with your outreach. I am not one to care about spelling and grammar, but your ability to translate milleniums Ebonics is a skill for the ages. I’m disappointed the female visitors did not use this as a lesson about how taint can improve the quality of men they choose.
Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells be so…
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“I’m disappointed the female visitors did not use this as a lesson about how taint can improve the quality of men they choose.”
Well I for one have never even kissed a male, let alone measured the distance from his anus to his scrotum.
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“Well I for one have never even kissed a male, let alone measured the distance from his anus to his scrotum.”
And yet here you are. Posting on this article over and over.
And you are the only person here who has ever discussed inserting foreign objects into their privates. I find it interesting how you seem to think saying someone else does is an insult.
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“So we should blindly accept something you can never prove? Is that what you’re saying, Raptor Jesus?”
Oh my god that is so fucking funny coming from a Christian! I just shat myself!
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Blanche,
Great news! H&P industries is willing to donate Povidine Iodine Prep Pads you any atheists who wish to partake in your research.
http://www.fda.gov/Safety/Recalls/ucm247658.htm
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“And yet here you are. Posting on this article over and over.”
This is only my tenth comment on this particular article.
“And you are the only person here who has ever discussed inserting foreign objects into their privates. I find it interesting how you seem to think saying someone else does is an insult.”
Hey, I’ve never inserted anything as large as a fist inside of my vagina. I’m sure that if Blanche wanted to she could impale herself on an entire person.
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“ Hey, I’ve never inserted anything as large as a fist inside of my vagina. I’m sure that if Blanche wanted to she could impale herself on an entire person.”
How do you know this and if true, what would it matter? Are you judging people by their body type?
“This is only my tenth comment on this particular article.”
Exactly
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“How do you know this and if true, what would it matter? Are you judging people by their body type?”
I’m not saying she’s fat, I’m just saying that she has a gaping vagina.
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[img]http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/Dumb_and_Dumberer_movie_poster.jpg[/img]
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This story is obviously someone trying to be funny. Its called a ‘gooch’ FYI.
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This web-site is not REAL!!! Why do you people waste your time? The fact that you sit hear and argue the things these authors are writing ( that are completely rediculous just so they can laugh at th fact that your humoring them) is mind – blowing
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I love to suck my daddie’s taint. Sometimes it smells like cheese. Sometimes it has delicious corn laden poo for me to munch on!
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