• Jesus Crust vs Atheists’ Sticky Buns – Are Aussies more Godly than Kiwi’s?

    April 7, 2011 11:53 am 10 comments
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  • Earlier in the week, Chris†Wire reported the miracle of the Cheeses Jesus appearing to the faithful in a Brisbane, Australia. The miracle, as evidenced by the shop manager not receiving a parking ticket while in a loading zone, was auctioned on EBAY to benefit charity. Bidding ended on March 30, 2011, with the lucky winner receiving the vacuum sealed icon for $153AUS.

    Jesus and Cheese. Yum.

    Not to be outdone, the hottest ovens of Hell’s Pizza company in Wellington, New Zealand, have embarked on the road of ruin with the Atheist focused promotion featuring the disfigurement of “hot cross buns” (an enduring Christian favorite). The advertisements include a pentagram rather than the traditional cross on a hot bun pictured on billboards with the slogan ‘For a limited time. A bit like Jesus.’

    The Anglican Church, a sect slow to anger and usually more focused on fellowship dinners and tramp roasts, finds issue with the promotion.

    Hot Buns of Satan

    These buns are quite stale” stated one congregation member who asked to remain anonymous “It is like they have been in a cave for three days.

    Hell Pizza director Warren Powell became enraged with when approached for comment. “I do not see how it could possibly be disrespectful to anyone’s religion,” he said.
    “First of all, we’re acknowledging that Jesus Christ may have been on Earth for a limited time.”

    ‘We may bring them back next year, and everyone’s saying that Jesus Christ is coming back one day.’

    It has been suggested the recent earthquake in Christ’s Church, New Zealand can be attributed to the wonton devil work of this firm and many Australians are boycotting the Atheist treat.

    While it is unclear how this battle between the Holy Cheesus and Godless gob bun will end, prayer and perseverance endures. The Aussie church vicars will be meeting worshipers at the door to test for “Kiwi” by having each pronounce the words “fish and chips; six; and ten” those that sound funny will need to refrain from services.

    Well Done, Australians! Well Done!

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    Blanche Beecham "Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM

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