Liberal New York state bureaucrats have identified and banned a new deadly hazard to today’s children: – Kickball. The Health Department created a list of supposedly risky and therefore banned recreational activities to cooperate with a law passed in 2009 protecting children.
The liberal list of activities that can harm your child
In addition to kickball, such tried and true school-time games such as Freeze Tag, Jump Rope, Wiffle Ball, Capture the Flag, Steal the Bacon, Horseback Riding and Red Rover have also been given the heave-ho by New York.
Not all New York legislators agree:
It looks like Albany bureaucrats are looking for kids to just sit in a corner in a house all day and not be outside,” said state Sen. Patty Ritchie (R-St. Lawrence County).
“I don’t think Wiffle Ball is a dangerous sport.”
Fruity sports live on
Frisbee, tug of war, and sack races were amazingly spared after heavy lobbying from fringe groups. However, kids are still being encouraged to stay indoors whenever possible to reduce the potential for injury.
Frisbee is well known to be enjoyed by men in short shorts and mustaches that drive around in vans by the park.
Bronx resident Kim Wainwright said it’s better to be safe than sorry.
“Kids these days are kinda brutal so I can see those games being dangerous,” said Wainwright, who has a 5-year-old. “I agree with it.”
And many parents felt like state officials were being, well, wimpy.
Kimberly Baxter, 27, a medical assistant from South Ozone Park, Queens, said she played freeze tag with abandon as a youngster.
“I never got hurt, maybe scraped my knee once in a while but that was it,” said Baxter, mom to a 1-year-old girl.
Deborah Graham, 51, a mother of two from Harlem, said moving around was less harmful than playing video games all summer.
“You could develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome,” she said. “And when (kids) eat, eat, and eat, they get diabetes. That’s dangerous.”