• Playstation Network Down, Destroyed By God’s Wrath

    April 24, 2011 8:53 pm 77 comments

    For the past five days, Satan’s online gaming tool known as “The Playstation Network”, or ‘Playsatan Network’ here at Christwire, has been crippled. Over 70 million children and young adults have been blocked from receiving its liberal and gay subliminal messages and are now safe from further penetration.

    Usually when this happens, hacker and terrorist groups are falling over themselves to claim credit. This time, however, even Anonymous, who takes credit for everything else, has denied responsibility. Could this be more of the divine intervention we seen in Sony’s home country of Japan when the tsunamis spilled onto their shores earlier this year?

    Playsatan’s official comment states the outage has been due to ‘external intrusion’ and that they have to rebuild the entire structure of the system. Unofficially and off the record, one playsatan worker admitted to Christwire that he believed it may be due to God’s wrath.

    “Nobody can be sure why it happened, but we were developing some pretty racy games,” the source told Christwire Saturday. “We still can’t figure out how it happened. The only explanation that I can think of is God did it to punish us.”

    While the Playsatan Network has been known to foster homogay behavior in such games as Halo 3 and The Sims, the completeness of God’s wrath may be surprising to some and is definitely unprecedented. Never before has a online system such as this been destroyed by divine intervention. No doubt the prayers of millions of Christians played a huge part as well.

    We can only take this as a sign of the future. God is clearly speaking, and what he is saying is that he will destroy any and all forms of blasphemy that man can create to challenge him, including those that are of the digital nature. No doubt we will soon see sites like 4chan and cracked smote as well. In any case, we can always pray for it. See how God answered our prayers and killed Playsatan?

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    About The Author
    Alex Keating Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

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