• Rutgers Pays Snooki $32,000 To Give A Speech, Pays Nobel Prize Winner Less

    April 3, 2011 7:09 am 3 comments

    As we continue our journey to find what’s wrong in this world, today’s story spills great light on the dark subject matter at hand.

    For those not in the know, there is a MTV television show named “Jersey Shore”. It is basically a show about social degenerates of Italian heritage being the worst human beings possible. They have nightly funk fests at bars and are no strangers to stripping down for a toxic tango with any random, diseased stranger. The show is quite perverse and undoubtedly a terrible influence upon the younger cohorts.

    On this show is a girl named Snookie. She’s a 4 foot butterball of festering sin. She drinks and cusses like a sailor, likely does drugs and is very revealing in whorish antics. If she were able to attend school, her B.S. would be in Oral Studies because everything about this girl involves the mouth: sex acts, loud and obnoxious talking, drinking, smoking, sex acts, gossiping and getting hit by steroid-pumped men, likely because she obnoxiously told them that she was giving another man oral acts of sexaul nature and that didn’t sit very well.

    For those not in the know, that is a Snookie.  Rutgers feels the need to pay this young woman $32,000 dollars to share with students at the campus, her song of freedom, her stories of success.  They want this girl to give an inspirational story of how to overcome and bravely enter the world as the next generation of global leaders, the brave bastions of economic might and progressive thinking.  For those know in the know, these are also Snookies.

    Passing out in bars…

    Causing trouble for the law enforcement and public safety…

    Public leg spreading…

    You get the idea.  Notice that the second two pictures are in the fresh hours of early morning,  a time for showering and brushing the mouth and teeth with a toothbrush to feel truly fresh.  Yet you see Snooki starts the day out drunk and in heat, not even letting officers settle in for a shift before starting untold of public misconduct and it is really grating on the nerves and makes you shake your head that people like this exist and are praised for it of all things.

    Yet, Rutgers University is paying her $32,000 dollars to give a speech to the students.

    This is all grievous and tragic, because in light of Snooki’s appearance Rutgers is paying Nobel Winning Toni Morrison, the first black woman to ever win the distinguished award, less money to make the school’s commencement address.

    Rutgers is paying a festering prostitute money to show up and talk about her awesome stories of drinking and letting guys dog paddle her three at time, when they have on their hands a literary legend and woman with a rich and inspiring story.  Toni Morrison is being paid $30,000 and while the issue of $2,000 may seem small to some, it is the idea that is huge.  It is the implication.

    We can now take a random slut off the street, pay them $30,000 an episode to encourage girls to go out and get tatted up, sniff crack cocaine off the greasy haired guy’s abs at the bar, then go into an alley and play spread Eagle Scout to all onlookers who want a quick dump for their sexual urges.  We can praise a girl like this and let them give public speeches at our universities for $32,000, yet we can not even advertsie Toni Morrison’s of the world and invite them in for more, and for a more momentous occassion.

    That’s what is wrong with the world.  We don’t respect what’s good anymore.  Here we go.

    Rebecca Black.  Justin Bieber.  The autotuned heroes of the world that have 500 million viewers on YouTube.  Their music is being praised as the greatest and most followed of all time, when you have women like Ella Fitzgerald and Marian Anderson’s memories and golden voices being lost in the winds of time.  We have men like Wynton Marsalis and Michael Bolton, who’ve devoted endless time to their craft, being overshadowed by these electronic beat thugs Dr. Dre and the next guy with a bootlegged copy of FruityLoops recording software.

    It is a travesty.  It is a terrible, terrible travesty that Snooki is being allowed to speak anywhere but an AA meeting, with an emphasis on whore antics.  This is a young woman who needs to be doused in a cleansing vat and put in protective custody while we start training her in decency and basic house functions.  I’ve seen dogs with better manners and hygienic standards, it’s terrible.

    I’m sorry that people like Toni Morrison are slighted in this crazy world, but that’s the way it is.  Snooki is being treated like she really has something of value to contribute to kids with her spoken word and a Nobel Prize winner is given the Queen’s ‘oh it’s the monarch’ yawn treatment.

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    Jerry Cohen JP Cohen

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