Top 10 Enemies of Chris†: Gay Gateway Moms, Hippies and James Franco – HO NO!
The rankings of top ten Enemies of Christ (EOC) shook harder than crackpipe trailer trash this Easter Holy week with the debut of a new enemy of Christ providing deep penetration from the bottom 25 into the top three. (Updates later in the story)
Atheists dropped to number seven due to numerous vacations and a chronic sloth ethic. To no one’s surprise, the anti-God crowd dragged out the dusty corpse of their well-loved “Jesus is a Zombie” rhetoric for Holy week. Ho-hum, booorr-ring! If the scarecrow only had a brain, Dorothy, beggars could ride ponies and let go of the shopping carts. Atheists are losing ground and are too busy looking at their reflection to care. What dolts.
Entertainment lost footing while Chris†Wire scored on Coachella, saving an estimated 1M souls from Satan’s buttery sphincter scepter. Powerful ministering by both Bryan and Mike to bring word of the degradation and debauchery to the spirit thirsty college crowd also had a positive impact on the eviction of Entertainment from the top 10. Miley Cyrus tried to save the decline with an arm pit tattoo, but it was too little, too late. If you want to commit to controversy Miley, you’ll need to get a face tattoo.
Jews made their annual exodus from the lower 35 into the top ten with feasts and festivals to Passover Jesus. Predictions point to the populous appeal of bacon and pig products as core drivers for limited appearance of Jews in the top ten. Why is anyone Jewish or Muslim when applewood cure bacon is so delicious? It is insanity.
White racism and Melanin Rage driven by the feline threat took a knuckle sam’mich to the stomach due to brave investigative reporting and a failed flip off to homosexuality, falling to 10 from last week’s position.
The Dude abides, Man. Dirty unwashed hippies arrived on the chart in a flowered panel van and left the harlotry of broken marriage in a cannabis cloud of confusion out of the top 10. Subway blunts and a cloud of rocky mountain high over Boulder, Colorado, have largely gone under-reported for the week allowing the dirty hippies to belly crawl into the top ten.
10. Melanin Rage and Feline Felons (Black on Cat crimes)
9. The President Born in Hawaii that No One Remembers
8. Dirty Hippies Cloud Boulder
7. Atheists: On Permanent Vacation
6. Jews Passover Jesus
5. Abortion
4. M&M’s – Mexicans and Muslims
3. Evolution – Elitist vs. Real People Common Sense
2. Homosexual Gay Trading
1. Gaytway Moms – New!
BREAKING NEWS! While the internets fell out as an EOC in the top ten, a new foe rode the pale, chocolate pudding horse of sodomy and insidious gayification through the homo-gaytway of feminine hygiene.
Liberal Mothers, who no doubt exceeded limits for obtaining lunch hour abortions in order to spawn, are exposing their sons to leg waxing and toe polishing in attempt to kibosh the Godly masculine attributes inherent in a boy child. Young girls are stepping up by bullying our young men into the homo-gaytway with dressing room Gay-Dates!
WARNING! The following videos are very graphic. Those with weakened constitutions or susceptibility to coercion may want to seek Christ-inspired counsel and prayer before viewing. It is not recommended for children under the age of 20.
This first video shows one mother playfully teaching her son to wax his young, downy legs so he might fetch a premium as a Gay-Date rental. She no doubt needs the money to obtain drugs and fund her lesbian bean-licking cocina escapades. The adorable child is innocent in these games and soon will take part in the diabolical statistic as one child-victim for every four homosexuals.
The way she mocks the humiliation to his tender legs is too much to bear. His eyes shine with tears, as his mother laughs at his shame. It is a sad preface to the deeply personal violation to come. One has to wonder if Mommy is bleaching his dirty hole to make it more inviting.
More evidence is available here that I personally cannot watch again due to the graphic nature of the depth of depravity. For those that dare watch, listen carefully to Mommy Dearest tell these two sweet boys to enjoy their “spa day” rather than doing Godly boyish things like swinging a dead rat on a piece of string, building a raft to sail down the Mississippi or peeing off a bridge onto dirty hobos.
Homo She Didn’t! Will these boys grow up to be princess sissy boys like James Franco and study poetry? If they live through the terror as fragile favors bandied about in sex orgies, poetry study might be an improvement.
Young girls are also jack boot pimping in the pansification of young Justin or Jebbidya into a fully fledged Nancy-boy. Watch her pimp slap him with blasphemic bombast to “Raise your hands to Je-sus!” as she feminizes him for his next chocolate sauce social with an angry purple suitor. What a disgusting use of Girl Scout leadership counsel values. I’m sure it is all to earn a new gay play patch of valor.
The rankings, compiled for the week ended April 23, 2011, reflect the moral writings of numerous Christian thinkers, leaders and teachers active on the EOC committee and are a published internationally by Chris†Wire as part of the organization’s outreach ministries. Distribution in whole or in part is strongly encouraged through acceptable standard means and acknowledgement of source. Official mimeographed copies of this list are available from Chris†Wire, upon request, for a small donation.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Blanche Beecham
"Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM
3:39 pm
You have outdone even yourself BB. May you earn many moral points for your incredible works.
As many conservatives work and don’t have as much time to waste online as the liberals. It’s nice to have this regular recap of weekly liberal sin.
It is not surprising to the Hebrews on the list this week as Christians everywhere are reminded of them killing baby Jesus.
Those videos are very disturbing. I had to take a break between them. The only reason a boys nail should be anything but white is if they smashed it with a hammer fixing the fence.
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5:16 pm
“As many conservatives work and don’t have as much time to waste online as the liberals. It’s nice to have this regular recap of weekly liberal sin.”
At least liberals can put a coherent sentence together.
“reminded of them killing baby Jesus.”
Hmm, I don’t recall a little baby hanging on a cross.
“The only reason a boys nail should be anything but white is if they smashed it with a hammer fixing the fence.”
Young boys should not be fixing fences.
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4:32 pm
It is a scientific fact that homosexuality is caused by a domineering mother and a distant or absent father. I had never seen the point at which a normal healthy boy was turned into a deviant sicko but you seem to have provided 3 clear videos of it happening.
I have to say that righteous hot tears of anger came to my eyes as I saw these precious little lives destroyed. The only end for them is to immediately be sent to homo desensitization camp or face a sad life full of anal destruction and sarcastic bitter queens.
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5:33 pm
If it’s a scientific fact, bring out the stats and research.
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5:38 pm
LN
Really take a close look at that last video. Young master Justin is terrified by that young woman child making him try on women’s clothing.
He’s trapped, unable to leave the room. Notice how his posture changes and his eyes grow wide when someone knocks on the door. He feels another beating at the hands of his troop leader pimp scout.
Why must you reject what is clearly shown to you?
Praise be,
BB
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5:49 pm
You can’t hear very well, can you? He’s actually for the whole thing, he said several times “let’s do this!” like he was being dared to do it and wanted to prove that he could do it.
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5:54 pm
Coached and hypnotized by that Jezebel, no doubt.
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6:02 pm
No proof, you’re talking out of your ass, no one was surprised.
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10:10 pm
Blanche, Honey…
1. Take breath.
2. Take a pill.
3. Take a nap.
…and better luck next time.
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3:44 pm
The nr 1 enemies of Christ is infadels like the author of this article that polutes the words of the lord in their own sick ways.
You know you are going all to hell, may God forgive you.
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8:44 pm
Meh.
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9:02 pm
Miss Beecham, you always have the perfect turn of phrase.
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9:04 pm
All of the authors on this site make me ashamed to be christian. Instead of promoting acceptance and peace, these people believe in racism, white superiority, sexism, hatred, and much more. They should just shut up.
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9:10 pm
So as a liberal, you support censorship and radical regulation of ideas? Maybe we need a Czar for that.
Freedom of speech, as long as we are “accepting” of everybody? That sure sounds like communism.
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9:14 pm
You suggest that people need to buy their rights. You want to take away the freedoms of those that don’t make a certain amount of income. You believe that women shouldn’t seek jobs or careers and are only good for birthin’ babies and cleaning yet you believe that you don’t have to abide by your own rules.
If anyone supports censorship and radical regulation of ideas, it’s you.
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9:34 pm
You crave my attention so much it is embarrassing.
You will not get it by shoving your little perceptions down my throat like a back alley idea-rapist.
BTW, did you have a nice Easter?
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10:03 pm
I’m not the one who’s a total hypocrite and an elitist bitch. Did you have fun feeling like you’re superior to everyone, you piece of shit?
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10:12 pm
So you didn’t get any Cadbury eggs this year did you? Better luck next time.
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10:18 pm
“I’m just going to patronize you, because I don’t think I’m better. I know I am.”
Elitist bitch. Go back to cleaning, and give up your position. God told you that you’re not allowed to do anything.
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10:40 pm
If everyone would only bend to your wishes, would you truly be happy, LN? I suspect not.
I know many have speculated on your initials, but I’m pretty sure they stand for “love nothing”.
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10:44 pm
There’s people I disagree with, and then there are elitist fuckers like you who believe that all others are worthless, and that you aren’t subject to your own rules. You want to do so much to other people, yet you will be offended at the idea of someone doing the same to you.
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11:23 pm
Now how can you say these things? You seem to have a personal issue you would like to have addressed, specifically by me, since you consistently respond to my comments.
Why don’t you articulate your issues more clearly in terms of what is troubling you, rather than simple name calling?
BTW, I really have no issues with you.
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11:36 pm
I’ve got a problem with each and every piece of shit like you. Admitting that you want to take rights away from the people, wanting to impose your own views onto others, telling people that they’ll be punished for not conforming to your exact standards that not even you follow. You’re nothing short of a hypocrite and scum. You’ll deny being racist and use every other excuse you can come up with, you’ll find ‘evil’ in things that are completely harmless, and you hate everything that people love.
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11:58 pm
Yes, well, Satan loved humanity more than God. That’s kinda the reason he fell from grace.
I think your argument is of the same cut and jib.
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12:11 am
Proof you don’t read the bible. Satan/Lucifer (depending on the text, some refer to Satan as the Will of God, i.e. if God told Satan to jump, he doesn’t even ask ‘how high?’, he just does) fell from Heaven for not bowing down to humanity, and refused to accept that humans were God’s chosen ones, NOT angels.
You share the exact same idea, you believe you’re higher-up than other people, simply because you call yourself a Christian. You don’t abide by the teachings of Christ, you don’t show respect towards those who disagree with you, you’re nothing short of a demon who just scoffs at the idea that you’ve faulted. You think you’re something special that allows you to bypass all of the rules you demand others to follow.
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12:29 am
Maybe you should try another Christian site like Landover Baptist if you aren’t happy here.
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9:16 pm
Of course, bring out the communism card just because I think all men are created equal. Instead of seeing a christian community, my entire time spent exploring the site, I have seen horrible things ranging from abusing and tying up your wife, to thinking that black people are nothing but mindless animals. It’s disgusting
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9:36 pm
You have cards?
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9:40 pm
Communists can’t play cards, every card would be worth the same in the “rulebook” .
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9:45 pm
Except some cards would be “more equal” than others.
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10:08 pm
Well Dick, that sounds a lot like Christianity, doesn’t it?
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12:01 am
I don’t think you are feces. I think you are a “lonely neo-humanist”
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12:11 am
Blanche, who the hell are you talking to?
Or rather, why are you talking at all? Go back to cleaning the house, this is no place for a woman like you.
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4:01 am
I think you have some kind of anal fixation guys, you are so concerned about that. And what’s wrong in being a Mexican or a Muslim?
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12:34 am
Remarkable issues here. I am very happy to look your article. Thanks a lot and I’m looking ahead to contact you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?
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