Angry God Explodes All Watermelons in China
China is a communist country that dares threaten our American way of life. They are stealing the best part of our culture and weapons, then plan to turn it all against us. Fear China, my friends. Fear them!
Today, God has weighed in on the subject of China. He has made it so that their plans to overtake America in the Summer Olympics will fail. China’s coup de tat plan was to defeat America’s Dream Team by recruiting black basketball players.
Let’s be honest: while Caucasians are better adapted at coaching and owning a team, and crisp passing, great leadership and remarkable free throw percentages on the court, it’s the blacks who do all the crazy dunking and Kenyan marathon endurance in the fourth to hit those game winning shots. And China planned to use their genetic research, marked with a black’s natural ability, to build a super team. This is Soviet Ivan Drago communism at its worst! Cheat to win.
Well, God has stopped their plans. He has blown up all the watermelons of China, good luck getting black players without! Do not be surprised when you see all their chickens next fall with plague and then a blight upon their sweet potatoes! Behold the power of God and his destruction of China’s Olympic plans.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Reverend Clyde H. Higgins
You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.
1:22 am
dont forget the grape drink you racist old cracker
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1:28 am
I love it when God punishes our enemies.
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7:10 am
Enemies? We are all fucking human beings.
The world is fucked up because of idiots like you.
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12:43 pm
Us “idiots” don’t get our crops exploded.
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4:07 pm
it would seem that a missuse of growth horomons was the cause for the “exploding” mellons, not a diety.
fourtunatly here in the states men and women have formed the FDA to protect us from such incidents, and no the FDA is not an act of god.
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7:02 pm
“Us “idiots” don’t get our crops exploded.”
Perhaps not, but I hear there is a plague of cicadas heading your way.
Actually, China is NOT our enemy. We may not completely trust each other, but we aren’t enemies. In fact we do quite a bit of exporting to and importing from China. Must be some type of covert action to fiscally bankrupt them, right? After all, we had eight years of training on how to bankrupt a nation. Lead by example, obviously.
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6:21 pm
Credibility? Did you ever notice that by definition ”christian intellectual” is a total contradiction? No offense, but religion touches fields where brain is not allowed. Religion is what makes the world explode: religion started more crimes and wars than it stopped. Anyone with an ounce of intelligence wouldn’t follow what proved to be so wrong since thousands of years.
Peace! have a great life, but please, keep your ”god” in your own head.
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3:32 am
Unfortunately, the Muslims have been punishing Black People for some time now. In Pakistan, savage mobs burn down KFC joints now and then. I wonder what did the blacks did in Pakistan that pissed them off so much that they’d destroy the blacks’ staple diet.
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3:05 pm
oh my the muslims do hate blacks dont they!
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2:43 pm
dear lord that man posses stupidty of a grade higher than the feared military grade stupidity.
there must be some kind of law against being that batshit nuts, surely? if not leagaly any loveing god would destory it before it opens a black hole from the nothingness of his mind.
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4:00 pm
Irrelevant. I don’t think god will punish a bunch of non-humans. The watermelons prbably popped by someone trying to shove them up their poo hole.
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12:16 am
Where those the whitest watermelons you’ve ever seen? Those communists sucked the red right out of the insides.
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2:38 pm
WATCH THE VIDEO. WATCH THE VIDEO. JUST WATCH IT AND YOU WILL CLEARLY HEAR NO MENTION OF GOD OR ANYTHING.
WATCH
THE
VIDEO
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