• Atheists Don’t Do It Better: Reasons Why Religion Leads to Better Sex

    May 19, 2011 2:22 am 39 comments
  • Share on Tumblr
  • Those Atheists, always the bridesmaid – drunk and fondled in the cloak closet of life during the reception, are once again trying to promote their sad grandiosity gap agenda with a hilarious piece on Alternet entitled: “Atheist Do It Better: Why Leaving Religion Leads to Better Sex”.

    As discussed in “Are Atheist Capable of Love: No, Happy Valentine’s Day” Atheist are self illumined narcissi incapable of true love due to their self absorbed nature. They are insufferable houseguests and lost children without God’s plan to guide them through the rigors of a moral ethos. The grandiosity gap between their imagined reflection of sexual prowess and reality is like believing in a pasta deity, ludicrous!

    Religious Based Sexual Mores are a Turn on

    Christians invented the corset, the Catholic Schoolgirl outfit, modesty, and just about every other sexual deviancy known. Christians know sin and what is really dirty better than Atheists do. If one is Godless, then we all descended from apes. The Atheist would have everyone believe ape’s penis fencing and sexually dominating each other is exciting. In your opinion, gentle reader, which is more of a turn on?

    It is a chart

    For over 3,381 respondents for the above picture, the following graph below really illustrates the bigger issues for Atheists. Atheists have no idea was “hot” means.


    The Religious are More Adventurous Sexual Partners

    From the article:


    Of people raised in very religious homes, 22.5 percent said they were shamed or ridiculed for masturbating (to give just one example)… compared to only 5.5 percent of people brought up in the least religious homes. And of people raised in very religious homes, 79.9 percent felt guilty about a specific sexual activity or desire… while among people raised in the least religious and most secular homes, that number drops to 26.3 percent.

    What the Atheist don’t say is getting caught is part of the fun of a robust, adventuous sex life. If this weren’t true, why are people getting caught having sex in copier rooms and bank parking lots?

    Lovers that are happy with just staying at home and having spaghetti every night are not having great sex. From a recent evangelical counsel survey on sexual activities the following graph was compiled.

    chart again

    Somebody’s Watching Me

    Imagine your life as one big peepshow with you as the star! Every breath you take, every move you make – Christ is watching you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEnJDaqT3-0

    Given the prevalence of the atheist form of homegrown and celebrity pornography where couples videotape sexual congress then secretly leak the video to TMZ or the new boyfriend on facebook, one would think that the voyeurism inherent in religious belief would attract more of a following.

    Guilt is Redeemable

    Christianity has a built in forgiveness paradigm. So many Atheists will waste debate strategy on trying to debunk God given grace of forgiveness by re-hashing old transgressions when only a bit of belief and contrition is needed for forgiveness. Why some Christians will engage in these arguments for an understanding is a bit silly. Once God forgives, that’s it. There’s no second counsel of thieves that require additional debate.

    Even the abomination of homosexuality is not beyond the forgiveness of God. The issue for Atheists arises when Christians admonish the sinners that are without God’s roadmap back to redemption. What they don’t understand is all would be made right with only a bit of faith and simply asking for God’s forgiveness.

    the redemption trifecta

    The Atheists are Too Competitive

    The final reason Atheists make lousy lovers, is they are always coming up with these flimsy “Atheist are better” campaigns. Atheists have such low self esteem that they try to over compensate with these comparisons. Who wants a lover that makes everything a spitting contest? Wouldn’t it be more fun to have a partner that moans, Oh God, Oh God, Oh-Oh-Oh God?

    Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel through social media. .
    How does this post make you feel?
    • Excited
    • Fascinated
    • Amused
    • Shocked
    • Sad
    • Angry
    About The Author
    Blanche Beecham "Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM

    Facebook Conversations