Australia Unleashes Baphemot on America in Liberal Bookstores
*Please send women, children, and especially impressionable teenagers out of the room before viewing the images in these article.
While god-fearing Christians are cleaning their homes and shooting their pets, preparing for the Rapture, scheduled October 21 of this year, the rest of the world, heathen for the most part, prepare to make the time between the rapture and the destruction of creation as un-Godly as their satanic minds can come up with.
Australia, inexplicably situated on the opposite side of the earth, has sent out their “model” case, infiltrating American shores through bookstores.
As we all know, bookstores are those dens of inequity where liberals, wiccans, hipsters, the unemployed, emos, girls in superhero underwear, and women who don’t know their place is at the hearth gather.
At Barnes & Noble, initially Christian employees made efforts to cover this outrage up in opaque plastic the way they would with anything else that is a direct and shameless attack on American values, but for reasons not divulged those employees were sacked and the magazine appeared in stores, where women and the eyes of the impressionable young could see it, as is:
Readers versed in the tactics of the antichrist may recognize the Baphomet in this iconography:

Liberal satanists say about this creature they worship, while gratuitously throwing in some encouragement for masterbaiters:
‘The Devil’ is, historically, the God of any people that one personally dislikes… This serpent, SATAN, is not the enemy of Man, but He who made Gods of our race, knowing Good and Evil; He bade ‘Know Thyself!’ and taught Initiation. He is ‘The Devil’ of the Book of Thoth, and His emblem is BAPHOMET, the Androgyne who is the hieroglyph of arcane perfection… He is therefore Life, and Love. Baphomet is further a representative of the spiritual nature of the spermatozoa while also being symbolic of the “magical child” produced as a result of sex magic. As such, Baphomet represents the Union of Opposites, especially as mystically personified in Chaos and Babalon combined and biologically manifested with the sperm and egg united in the zygote.
A quick internet search reveals that this image was not just a single unfortunate instant of lack in good judgment, or a “coincidence” (a word liberals use when they know we have a conspiracy on our hands).

Earlier harbingers of the antichrist have made efforts to hide their immoral and deceitful nature, but this one, with the crudeness and impunity of a true down under Crocodile Handbag Dundee, no longer feels the need, with the rapture this close at hand he says:
“I’m an atheist and a materialist.”
- Andrej Pejic (19)
This Crikey, surprisingly not a descendant of convicts sent to the colonies, is exactly the kind of thing you can expect when Bosnia and Serbia make love-not-war. He is set to devour us all, non-gay men first, and has been practicing for this since early boyhood.
While god-fearing boys in the same age group prayed, pulled pigtails, and learned how to dismember insects, he enticed good Christian house fathers and says haughtily:
“Straight men have been hitting on me since I was eight.” [hairflip]
– Andrej Pejic (19)
Throughout the decadent and immoral fashion world, he is hailed as the new miniskirt, and in order to confuse Christian onlookers more, they have him casted for both male and female fashion shows, including (in a bid to mock both chastity pledges and the sanctity of marriage) pristinely white bridal dresses!
Should anyone you know suddenly express an interest in “fashion”, you know now what time it is, and that this is unhealthy and should be shut down at once; ask your congregation to intervene.
The end times are now, and hard to resist temptations like Australia’s newest weapon of mass destruction may become more numerous and harder to resist. If you want to be raptured in October, do not look upon them! Stay inside and avoid book stores. If you are a good Christian man and are afraid you are in the process of falling, there is help for you right here on Christwire, we will not abandon the Lord’s flock.
In God we Trust.
- Excited
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As I’m sure you noticed, Dossier is printed in Iceland, a decidedly unchristian island pocked with volcanos which are, obviously, pathways to Hell!
Ever wonder why there are so many volcanos and so many homo-gays on the left coast? Its not a coincidence, the fumes of hell attract the perverted.
Its no different in Iceland. I know because I conduct single man missions to the outdoor hot tubs (notoriously popular among the homo-gays) in order to convert sinners.
In conclusion. Iceland is gay.
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They have set up a colony over there, haven’t they?
I thought the cover featured a number of names that sounded decidedly unChristian.
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God bless, Brother Brian!!
I have also set up ministries all across Africa, the Dark Continent, the Gaping Maw of Hell itself!
Similar to the situation in Iceland, Africa is rampant with demon-possessed homosexuals that unleash their unnatural lust upon unsuspecting infants and animals.
There’s still a lot of God’s work left to be done. Good luck in Iceland!
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Thank you good sir. With support like you’ve given and some invisible intervention from the image of god I pretty much decided was true, I will succeed.
It is folks like us who will cleanse these sinner of their dirty, dirty ways.
And if I have to sit in every hot spring bath house in Iceland, dadgummit I’m ah gonna do it!
Praise the lord and Bart Simpson is gay!
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Brian,
You are a great man. It would be interesting to statistically see the population of gay individuals based on vicinity to volcanic activity on a broader scope. If only there were time before the rapture! Also, I once knew a geologist (believed in dinosaurs, he is going straight to hell) who told me of significant volcanic activity in the pacific “Ring of Fire”. So many gay fish I just hope fishermen don’t fish there I would hate to get infected with the gay…
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This is why fish-eating foreigners should be avoided at all cost, as well as vegans and vegetarians. Vegetarian is but a hair of a rabbit’s butt removed from vagitarian.
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Brian
we are fortunate to have such brave and selfless folk as yourself to undertake these by Christ and covered in his blood, you still place yourself in danger of MOLESTATION my sinful, lustful homogays, who will attempt to divert you by fondling you, and prancing naked with their private parts erect, and their sinful rears ready lubed for easy penetration.
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Left coast? Volcanoes being pathways to Hell? Iceland is evil? No. Wrong, wrong, and horribly wrong. one of my best friends is from Iceland. She works as an Archaeologist. Very interesting work.
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These pictures are disturbing. Television is filled with so many heartaches of mental illness – hoarders, extreme couponers, secret addictions to eating toilet paper and DWTS. Now an innocent trip to the bookstore will have us pulling on Satan’s tail yelling “Yippee!”
Lurlene, you are God’s flashing traffic cone on the path to salvation. Bless you, bless you.
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Thank you, Blanche.
In His service!
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I would tell you to suck my giant cock brian. But you might take me seriously you fucking racist backwater piece of trash
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My name isn’t Brian, and yours is a grave profanity. Please wash your mouth repeatedly with lye, you sinner without social graces.
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Brian,
You are a great man. It would be interesting to statistically see the population of gay individuals based on vicinity to volcanic activity on a broader scope. If only there were time before the rapture! Also, I once knew a geologist (believed in dinosaurs, he is going straight to hell) who told me of significant volcanic activity in the pacific “Ring of Fire”. So many gay fish I just hope fishermen don’t fish there I would hate to get infected with the gay…
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Sorry for the double post, darn Satan Technology! Only good for communicating with like minded pure Christians like all of you
See you all in Heaven after the rapture!
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See you there, I Love the Lord!
Bless!
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You are mentally ill.
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No, you are misguided. The devil has poured so much wickedness over your head your lids are glued shut with the filth of it. Repent!
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an misguided amháin go bhfuil tú anseo
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I just saw this site for the first time. Judging by the article above and the comments written about it, this is a satirical humor site, right? I mean, volcanoes being the pathways to hell? Australia being “inexplicably situated on the opposite side of the earth”? Anyone expressing an interest in fashion needing to be “shut down at once”? Christians wanting to be raptured should stay inside and not go into bookstores?? This has got to be a humor site, right?
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What on God’s green earth?
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No need to answer my question as to whether this is a satirical humor site. It obviously is. Whew! At first, I thought this was an actual serious Christian far right-wing might-is-right type of site. I am SO relieved the bizarre stuff on this site is not meant seriously. Thanks for the laughs. Very funny site. Very much like The Onion paper.
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I do believe you mistake Christwire with the Westboro Baptist Church. They are in it for the gay parades I believe. We on the other hand are entirely serene and serious in our intentions.
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Do you know the definition of ‘serene’? “marked by or suggestive of utter calm and unruffled repose or quietude”
So tell me. Is this sentence evidence of serenity? “I am sorry to tell you this. But your family had to die.”
Those are your words to a young girl when she said her family was Wiccan.
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I hate it when we are mocked by the unsaved… But I am sure you will see just how “funny” this all is on 21 Oct.
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It can’t come soon enough! See you in heaven, Timmay, God willing!
Let us pray for His greater glory!
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I certainly hope so! I’ll be sitting on my doorstep come the morning of 21 October awaiting His return!
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Yeah. We’ll see how funny it is. Does this mean that on the 22 I can come on here and laugh at you?
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By then you will be a heap of ashes, or among the walking dead.
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So october 1 is the date the fringe idiots are touting now. Wasn’t 12-21-12 enough for you? Let’s see, the world was supposed to end in 1994, then JQn 1, 2000.. then the 21st of May ( a few days ago ) when will you nutjobs stop this crap? In the Bible it says : NO MAN SHALL KNOW THE DAY. Read this, absorb it. It “ain’t” going to change.
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This is why you shall never be saved, you have no faith. Repent!
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He’s an androgynous male model.
He stated that straight men have hit on him since age eight. He didn’t say anything as to those men’s marital status or religious affiliation.
Oh, and he’s quite cute. Which brings me to this:
[img]http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll26krObFS1qk0seio1_500.jpg[/img]
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I have no idea what this guy is but please don’t condemn all the people of australia because of his interests.
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It’s because Australia is a continent of sinners that satan can thrive there. You have no one but yourselves to blame, walking upside down with your skirts over your heads.
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[img]http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/44844_422498753805_643333805_4904951_4391211_n.jpg[/img]
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Hey do any of you guys here like Iron Maiden? I think they are awesome and I can’t get enough of them.
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