Conventional wisdom has always held that left handed people are insistent braggarts, roust abouts and militant terrorists that cause problems and issues for manufacture of common tactile items such as scissors, surgery utensils, weapons against the infidels and writing instruments. Scientists now claim in one study, which supports the demise of Osama Bin Laden, a left hander and international terrorist, that the left handed can’t help but be fearful.
Fun Facts about the Left Handed:
- Most left-handers draw figures facing to the right and shoot rifles in the air against the infidels with the left hand in an attempt to hide their defect from others.
- There is a high tendency in twins for one to be left-handed. This is usually the weaker twin who must block attacks from the stronger twin.
- Stuttering, homosexual tendencies and dyslexia occur more often in left-handers (particularly if they are decrof to change their writing hand as a child).
- Left-handers adjust more readily to seeing underwater and in dark caves.
- Left-handers excel particularly in tennis, baseball, swimming, masturbation and fencing.
- 4 of the 5 original designers of the Radio Shack Tandy computer were left-handed
- President Clinton is left handed and so is the President who is not President Bush. President George W. Bush is right handed.
The Study Proves Left Handed are More Fearful than Righties
For the Study, scientists directed sample test subjects to view an eight-minute clip from Silence of the Lambs and then give a summary of the video. The left handed participants “gave more fragmented accounts filled with more repetition than their right handed counterparts.”
The researchers interpret the responses as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Sure PTSD is twice as common among the left-handed as the right-handed, but to get that worked up over a film that most people have already seen an average of eleven times on cable means the left handed are not only a demographic for happy animation and rom-coms, but are also insufferable left handed chicken wussies.
“It is apparent the two sides of the brain have different roles in PTSD and the right hand-side of the brain seems to be involved in fear. In people who are left handed, the right hand side of their brain is dominant, so it may have something to do with that.”
It is clear this study was designed as part of the plan to track down Osama Bin Laden. As a Leftie, Bin Laden has hid from international view after claiming credit for the attacks of September 11. The successful plan depended on the fearful nature of the left handed militant for effectiveness.