• Did Sacrifice of American Celebrity Macho Man Randy Savage Preempt the Rapture for Lesser Countries?

    May 22, 2011 12:45 pm 10 comments
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  • America is God’s last true moral and independent country on Earth.  At the beginning of time, the Children of Israel were the original Children or Morality.  But due to their covetous and lecherous ways, they quickly lost favor with God.  Their greed and ignorance blinded them from God’s glory, even after they were freed from the sandy grasp of King Pharaoh when our Lord gave Charlton Heston the power to split the Red Sea and let the people go.

    Due to their recalcitrance, God allowed the atheist and cartoon comic book worshipping Romans to Lord over the Jews for a season.  The story repeated for many other nations.  Holy Roman Empire (The Germans).  Iniquisition era Spain.  Renaissance France and England.  But they all failed.  They all did not have a true moral pilot light in the furnace of their heart.  But then, America.

    America is a nation that has conquered great evil and truly earned its spot as God’s favored by defeating Red Coat godkings twice in battle.  We proudly reached back with Holy Hands and smacked the sheisse snot out of barbaric German aggression, twice.  Hitler’s demon burns in hell and yet shivers in trembling fear, like a frozen eskimo seeing a grizzly polar bear while on the ice loo!, whenever he thinks of the sight of America invading Normandy on D-Day.  The Japanese menace still knows the dove flying over a baby bunny’s cooing head peace America can bring, as they got the first taste of two delicious bombs of freedom.  They have not needed military action sense that great and glorious day.

    So when it comes to sacrifice for Earth, for saving mankind, America has proved time and time again to be the go-to-guy.  We are a moral nation.  A nation of peace.  Our status as God’s Superpower has been questioned lately, all uner the rule of a minority Kenyan who pretends to be a true leader.  Obama is making America look like the UN:  like we are just giving weak, pointless African countriers the chance to let their politicians by UN President, all in a meangingless gesture because the UN is worthless and the only good it does is funded and done by, America.

    That is not the case though.  We are still God’s nation and yesterday we saw the world was largely spared from rapture.  Don’t get it wrong.  There was rapture moments.

    A city in Kansas was wiped out last night by a tornado.  Redding, Ks, no longer exists and we pray for every person who has family or friend there.

    All across the world, great footage of people disappearing, weather chaos and destruction is coming to surface.

    And the sacrifice of a man, an American Celebrity, who brings joy to the homes of the most moral Americans, fans of WWE, was made.

    Was it a coincidence that in the earliest hours of morning, one of America’s original sweethearts and cultural icons was taken from us so he could be in heaven?

    I think not.  I think God called this American Son to heaven as a sacrifice to us all.  The world will suffer without the thought of a matchup between Hollywood Hulk Hogan, the man who put his wife’s lippy laywer in place with a firm backhand, and The Macho Man Randy Savage.  Such a pairing would have instantly fixed the global economy, but just like before Michael Jackson could confess his sins and be forgiven, then inspire the world with new Pepsi commercials and 80s Reagan-era nostalgia, a satanic doctor injected him with rat’s blood poisoning and is still trying to get away with it.

    America, celebrities are very important to us.  They shape our cultural attitude and a good part of our happiness.  They are ambassadors of the American Spirit.  Their actions define our patriotism and how much more patriotic can you get than The Macho Man, eating a huge chunk of American Made beef slim jim jerky jumping from a top rope, glorious 80s perm flowing magnificiantly in the wind, dark shaded glasses over eyes reflecting the camera shots of the wildly screaming crowd as he awesomely unleashes his flying elbow, a communist masked challenger sprawled on the mat below him, crying in fear because the awesome site of a man with American flag tassels streaming and saying “Oh Yeah!  America!” moments before he connects his glorious elbow to the neck of that no good, anti-American communist punk pinko Mexican guchador wrestler who’s getting his now!  Get out Mexican pinko socialists!  Yeah!

    That is the excitement of America.  That is what we will be missing.  God sacrificed this beautiful man so that more people will have time to repent.  But rest assured!  The day will come when all moral people will be taken up at once!  No sacrifices for all you dirty sinners!

    The day will come.  But until that time, rest in peace Macho Man.  You are a true hero and you will be always missed.




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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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