Gay Agenda Now Releasing Edible Bacon Underwear, Announce “Joe My God” as Sexiest Gay of the Year
There is a horrible gay magazine called The Advocate and every year, they host a “Sexiest Gay of the Year” contest. I sign up with many others and protest it. They hold the judging grounds and awards in Georgia, and I have my Morality Booth setup to pass out pamphlets why these little homomarinated meatbags will all sear on Satan’s grill for eternity! But they are glib.
They saunter and sashay, rubbing each other in sexual ways as if that is normal, and continue on to their little award show. Well, this year was the raunchiest of all. It was swine pork in the mud filth. I wish I even had some Iraqi Paki terrorists with me, so they could help cast stones and it would be PC liberal correct!
I just wish this was 400 years ago, because I could do so legally and find 10o other townspeople to join to throw rocks until the enemy lays rigor with sin!
This is stage footage taken from “The Advocate”. It is stage footage from one of the sideshows at the awards. It is a gay ‘twinkie’ flavored with bacon savorings, according to the article caption.
It is all sick and you can only imagine why gays are mouth watering over this picture. They know normal men like bacon, which always excites them. Gays love children but if there is a second helping they can have on the side, it’s men who are not gay who tickle their hunger pinch. It makes gays crave to have their backside blistered or worse twaddle their dairy violator in the chocolate factory if you get my drift. Sin homos!
But the thing that takes the cake here is that they also announced the Sexiest Gay of the Year. Gays vote by gay genre and then an overall gay. The genres were all just too confusing and bizaree in classification, but the winner of them all is a very scary looking mountain man and looks like the hillbilly from Deliverance. Gays are not cultured like us and they are backwoods idiots, maybe that’s why they like to play woodcutter man so much in the backside.
Alejandro, The Compassionate Furry Seeking Gay – One Genre Award Winner Crowned by The Advocate
One would think that things could not get much worse than a Mexican with a tight body, sitting in a ruffled spread of delicate bedsheets, petting a kitty cougar over his satan scepter sinspout, but it does. There is a gay named Joe My God and he’s apparently the sexiest gay of the year.
Leather Bike Bear Tops them All
Joe.My.God.
According to the article, The Leather Bike Bear is a genre of gay who is a masochist. This indicates this Joe character may be a dominatrix, like a Russian woman spy in a movie. Dressed in the deepest blacks and short hair made shorter by vast quantities of impossibly expensive hair lube of fruity scents, the masculinity of this domineering gay is spiced by cologne on the turgid, hairy brawn of the chest and jugular of the beefy neck. These types of gays are also called ‘beefcake’, as it looks like they grew up on a farm and are tough.
Make not mistake though, the only toughness they want in life is making the glute muscles quiver in shame when they enter their sin thrusts on their ‘partners’. So it is no surprise that so many girly gays scream at this Joe boy and calling him ‘their God’. Rest assured that God’s belly churns and is sickened by every mention of this sacrilege leather daddy who calls himself God and ruler.
Every day, Joe writes homosexual erotica that masquerades as journalism, on his website joemygod.com. The very name of the site is smeared in the fecality of homosexual sins, so it is no surprise that it is putridly offensive the to sensibilities of the normal folks of America.
Joe My God in his younger years, luring twinkies and such to fall prone before his ripping muscles and be the kabob for his fiery nighttime flames of fecality passion.
In his younger days, the fag rag magazine journal opines, Joe opted for a bare chested ‘barrel roller’ look. Barrel roller is apparently the name of homosexuals who like to ‘roll’ their barrel in a circular pattern in their partner’s rear. It is sick and raunchy, but that’s what they say. The Advocate continues:
- Joe My God Younger
Hulking with the most lurid abdominal walls imaginable, the firm suprapubic region of Joe gleens in a manner of raised, straightline curves that makes your mouth drool when you think of where that crotch line leads on this fine American vehicle. It is pure steel, baby.
With a stomach of a belly dancer, the captivating musclature of Joe My God even makes a bottom yearn to be a top, if only to see the video of Joe’s firm finish give way to the thrusts of a pulsating phallus jousting its way to a glorious display of regal ecstasy. This Game of Thrones should bring a firm bone to any man who lays eyes upon it.
Now that he’s an elder gay, Joe is still delicious homo goulash. He’s dilectable in every way possible and the marinade of his cream sauce is something that can be thrown into flavor every savory Italian mix.
This year we are proud to announce that based on his LGBT writings that convince college children that hey, gay is okay and they should experiment, and his sultry good biker daddy looks with gray handlebars and brawny bosom, we induct Joe My God into the Sexiest Gay of the Year hall of fame. Congrats, Joe. Come get your award from the judges.
As you can imagine, after reading this tripe and then seeing all the homohuffer tokers going to this event, I could only jump up and down and stamp my feet in rage. How can this be allowed in this society, for these intestine dwellers to be able to write so freely and give out awards at disease pride shows.
Listen up, I got my booth and every one of you who laid eyes on it, you saw my message. You were warned so when you die and go to heaven to be judged by God and St. Peter says “Guilty Gay!” don’t try to say you were not warned. I warned all of you. You will die and roast in a ghoulash homo gumbo stew and Chef Satan will say “Bam!” like Emeril Lagasse when he throws in more lava stone to spice you up!
For Satan, sexiest gay of the year means the most juicy and well marinated. Have fun roasting in the stews of hell, homomeat!
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!
6:49 pm
“Gays are not cultured like us and they are backwoods idiots, maybe that’s why they like to play woodcutter man so much in the backside.”
Cultured? You hate culture. If it isn’t flat-out American, you despise it. If it isn’t flat-out Christian, you despise it. That’s not culture, that’s being ignorant, and that’s the least of your problems with your ‘article’.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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10:13 pm
This is clearly another attempt by the homogays to spread beastiality to our children as well. We all know animals love bacon, so what better way to draw them into your sin regions than with under garments made of bacon. It is deplorable. Thank you for open our eyes about this sick and twisted perversion Brother Abe.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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10:47 pm
Bet your boys LOVE bacon.
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10:46 pm
So funny that you would post all those hot photo’s for your readers. So silly how you homophobe’s are so freaked out by yourselves that you don’t even see how closeted you are.
Thanks for the press. Thanks for making it so easy to get to Joe and The Advocate by putting such prevalent links for your readers.
Here’s a pearl….That which attention goes, energy flows. The more you focus on gays, the more energy you give them. So again, thanks for the attention!!!!
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11:00 pm
But why write incognito Brother Abe? Dont fear, joemygod, I mean god will protect you!!
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11:21 pm
I threw up upon seeing these pictures.
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12:17 pm
I got the same reaction looking at your posts picture.
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5:40 pm
Considering that most of the pictures came from HBO’s True Blood, and this great arse is using them without permission or at least provenance, I can see why.
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11:22 pm
I like bacon crisp and cooked. I think that putting bacon the body is skirting close to making a woman suit, tucking the turtle and doing a little kooky dance in front of a mirror a’la Silence of the Lambs.
For some reason, I just found that photograph picture disturbing.
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12:19 pm
The photo was disturbing because it wasn’t properly wrapped around man meat
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11:33 pm
This is disgusting. The homogays will do anything to tempt normal men into the sick homogay lifestyle.
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12:08 pm
HA HA HA HA …every “Straight” Married guy I’ve ever been with has picked me up!!!
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2:09 pm
oxymoron
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4:31 pm
Come here young man, you want some… BACON? Mmmmm. Tasty tasty BACON!
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5:42 pm
No, STOP TRYING TO TEMPT ME into your abominable, depraved homogay disease spreading lifestyle.
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9:07 pm
…. I can’t tell if you’re actually a Christian intellectual with no intellect, or if you’re being simultaneously ironic and sarcastic. I’m leaning toward the latter, but I’m still a bit confused…
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2:30 am
I am not ironing or sarcasting, this is a SERIOUS ISSUE !!!
The homogay agenda is one of the biggest threats to children, America and the world.
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8:23 am
Oh, but you know you can’t resist my BACON!
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5:10 pm
You have demonstrated that your handle is an oxymororon.
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7:34 am
This RUBBISH makes me so very angry, he(the writer ( ABE) of the article can’t even use proper English – how ignorant is that). As for Gay people not being cultured what has that got to do with being Gay ??
It is written in the Bible that God created ALL man EQUAL in his own eyes, and what ever happened to “love thy neighbour,” ??
Then again coming from a christian what do you expect they used to throw people to the lions………………How christian is that.
The Bible was written by who knows who or how many it is at the end of the day just a book, you condemn spiritualism but was it not for told that Mary would give birth to Jesus, was it not for told that Jesus would rise from the dead ( is that not spiritualism at it’s finest)………….I suppose when you say a prophet said that makes it all the different( but was that not just a spiritualist saying this).
It is strange how you alter the English language to suit yourselves but then again from a religious group that threw people to their deaths what do you expect.
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12:16 pm
Actually, it was the christians the romans threw to the lions – I hear christians give the lions heart burn though – since they are so full of crap.
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12:57 pm
But lions LOVE Bacon.
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9:10 am
JoeMyGod, the other white meat.
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12:11 pm
Ahhh… so many christians, so few lions.
Though I hear the lions find you distasteful because you are so full of hate you have turned bitter.
Or as Gandhi said: “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
Frankly, I can’t watt for the rapture, or 2nd coming, or whatever you idiots call it these days to come. Enjoy your boring heaven because all the cool people will be in hell (I couldn’t imagine a heaven full of you arrogant people – that truly would be a hell).
Oh ya, and your precious GOD does not exist. Talk about back-woods morons.
And no, we are not after your *children* – we don’t want them – you have spoiled them to the point that they are no longer human beings (just like you have done to yourselves).
Really – take your stupid god and go away now.
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12:22 pm
Oh shit… I just got trolled so well by you christwire. Note to self, resist posting until AFTER the first cup of coffee. POE POE POE POE POE
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12:45 pm
That was the most horribly authored editorial written by a man who is clearly a major closet case, a bigot, and has no idea what he is talking about. The Lady (Abe) doth protest too much, methinks.
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12:56 pm
Feel free to keep looking at us give you the middle finger. Take that cross you distorted and shove it up your back end. You are the disgraceful filth promoting hate.
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1:00 pm
Aye, the problem with Christwire is that while they are attempting to satirize Christians, this is actually how some of them sound. Satire needs to take extremist views to another level to reveal it’s absurdity. But you can’t satirize Focus on the Family or American Family Association as they can’t sound any crazier than they already do.
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1:37 pm
HILARIOUS!
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1:38 pm
I worry about the filth that homosexuals are flinging at us. Their goal is and always has been to destroy the few remnants of all that is decent, Christian and godly. Nothing scares homosexuals and their enablers more than the sight of someone proudly serving THEIR God, the Lord Jesus. It is often why so many of them are drawn towards pedophilic religious figures like Mohamed and the like. It’s strange, say one truth about Muslims in front of a homosexual and they start frothing at the mouth “defending” them. The truth is, a Muslim would like nothing better than to hang a homosexual. This is the only redeeming factor of their perverse, God-rejecting husk of a religion.
One day Jesus will come and destroy all Muslims with a holy fire. Every tongue shall proclaim the Lord is Jesus before he thrusts their unfaithful bums in to the fire that burns eternal. Praise the Lord. May all the faggot queers and heathen sand niggers burn!
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2:11 pm
Laughing so hard I just peed my pants!
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2:18 pm
YOU poor, poor deluded well what ever you are
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4:10 pm
“Praise the Lord. May all the faggot queers and heathen sand niggers burn!”
I’m a gay arab… AND I’m an atheist… do I win a prize?
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5:43 pm
Well said brother, praise to you.
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5:55 pm
“May all the faggot queers and heathen sand niggers burn!”
What a “christ like” comment. Any reason I left the church? Such blatant hypocrisy.
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9:16 pm
Once again – I can’t tell if you’re being hilariously ironic & sarcastic, or if there’s a small blood-thirsty tick lodged under your amygdala… I don’t know whether to praise or condemn!!
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2:21 pm
My comment was aimed at Prayer Warrior who must be so far up his/her own arse that the shit that he/she dribbles is over spilling his/her mouth
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2:40 pm
You realize that this is all a farce, right? Christwire.org is a satirical site making fun of the Christian right. I am a Christian, and I find this website both hilarious and disturbing for its accuracy. But I’m smart enough to know that this is not real journalism.
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5:44 pm
James!! UGH!! I fell for it…BUT..SERIOUSLY!!! this is a typical response from AOL or Yahoo whenever they post something about gay rights… I guess I am so used to it I thought nothing of it!!!!
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9:54 pm
HA! Totally fooled me!! Didn’t totally believe it until I went to the christwire home page….
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5:05 pm
I think we all have concluded that the more homophobic you are the more of a chance there is that you are a closeted self-loathing gay person. Straight people could care less-they are too busy living their lives.
Living the closeted life is miserable. I did it until I was thirty and could not take the loneliness and lies anymore. Thankfully I met my partner and we have been together monogamously for twenty years now..we have had a wonderful life together. As far as God “judging” me..I will let him do it-not you.
“Christwire?” I think Christ would be appalled for you using his name. Christ was about love and kindness..this is about hate. Joe Jervis is a great guy who is exposing “hate groups” who make their money demonizing gay people. There is no pornography on his site.
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5:29 pm
Bacon under garments can only lead to sausage stuffing. So sayeth the Lord.
Thank you, brother Abe for your Christian outreach to the gay and your astute coverage of the homosexual lifestyle. Good Christians need to know the tricks being developed to lure them into sin.
Let’s continue to pray for the gay including that Joe fella and the Mexican in need of saving. May 21 is just around the corner, they could yet repent and join us in everlasting glory.
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5:53 pm
Sir, you aren’t doing a very good job at journalism.
The man in picture with the baby tiger is actually anti-gay Eduardo Verastegui, who led the push for prop 8. So that isn’t a “Mexican with a tight body, sitting in a ruffled spread of delicate bedsheets, petting a kitty cougar over his satan scepter sinspout.”
Me thinks you just looked up “sexy man with animal” to get that image.
Or your just an idiot.
I’ll take the latter.
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6:11 pm
Joe spends too much time mocking me because I’m transgendered. And because I’m PC.
It hurts me feelings. I’m very delicate. And an asshat.
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8:19 pm
Thanks for posting all these HOT pics of men… I read your site every day, because you have more gay porn than anyone else has on the net. COME OUT OF THE CLOSET….
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8:23 pm
Once glance at that bacon bikini bottom and I realized why those of the Jewish faith don’t eat pork.
I also realized why that effete little guy with the thin mustache that works at the deli counter was snickering when I ordered a pound of bacon last week.
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8:55 pm
This may be rather extended. First, a few non-fact comments:
-What is an “Iraqi Paki terrorist”? Iraq and Pakistan don’t even share a border.
-How long does it take to think up so many gay-centric insults? “Homohuffer?” “Dairy violator?” What does that mean!?! Your words are more provocative and outlandish (albeit rather impressive) than any homosexual display I’ve seen — and I’ve been to drag shows!
-A “smart-alack” is not a thing; you mean “smart aleck.” Also, “fecality” is not a word, and most gay men really don’t enjoy feces.
Now, as was Christ unfaltering and trustworthy, I strive to follow his example. The following are simple, unaltered facts:
1. I am a heterosexual woman.
2. As a creation of God, it is not my place to say who will reach Heaven or Hell. (I would suggest this goes for ALL mankind, unless a man be so conceited as to think he knows God’s will!) Even when angry and disgusted, I try to love all brothers & sisters of humanity — and telling them they are going to Hell does NOT count as love!! (Sorry, Abe, but neither does stoning.)
3. No gay has ever attempted to “turn” me, or otherwise taint me with “mud filth,” whether in my childhood or adult life.
4. Most things love bacon, gay or straight. I personally find bacon underwear more amusing than enticing. Also – edible underwear are produced and targeted to all demographics, male and female.
5. Several facts: I am a first-generation Pakistani-American. I was raised Muslim. Muslims love Jesus. No one in my family is a killer, let alone a terrorist. I speak better English than Abe. I was born in America; this is MY country too, and if you don’t like it, YOU can get out!!
Judge not, brothers and sisters!
“Gay? Hey, OK!”
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6:58 am
Thank you for actually reading the bible!
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10:18 pm
Abe, your intensely researched and grammatically correct articles are a real godsend to the conservative family. I looked at these pictures again and again, becoming more and more disgusted each time. I thank the Lord Jesus that you and other brave Christians are willing to do the research to protect our innocent children.
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2:38 am
Again and again and again… You just keep looking… because of the BACON EVERYONE LOVES BACON!!!
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6:56 am
by disgusted, I think you mean excited. So excited you Amen’d all over your keyboard.
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10:53 pm
Thank you Abe, for an insight in the mind of one of the most dangerous gay agenda-ist in our country today. That Joe is nothing less than a modern day Aleister Crowley, an infamous satanist notorious for sodomizing bullfrogs in the streets of London.
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1:41 am
Gay men are men who are physically, innately, and solely sexually attracted to men. Gay women are phsyically attracted to women. Clearly, a lot of people here never had that issue to deal with. Well congratulations, but this article was incredibly offensive and incredibly ignorant. If you can’t put together that gay people diserve to live their lives without all this hatred and vile spewed in their direction, then I’m sorry. But get your bible and YOUR hateful God off my body, I don’t want it. God is in my head and heart, and I wouldn’t let you sear my image of God and my humanity, in the name of Christianity. It’s been at least 2 years since I’ve read anything this hateful…
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2:17 am
“Gay men are men who are physically, innately, and solely sexually attracted to men.”
NO, the homogays are “men” (possessed by demons) who are sexually attracted to men AND innocent CHILDREN !
There is still hope for lesser humans like yourself. Jesus can cure your satanic addiction to sodomy and rape.
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2:46 am
I’m not attracted to children.
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3:32 am
How can you prove that to us though? You’re a deviant. It’s like the kid who throws kittens into the gutter during childhood. There is something wrong with people like you and there are warning signs. Your lifestyle is akin to kittens thrown into the gutter: sick.
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6:53 am
Actually according to the article, we prefer kittens on our crotch….
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6:51 am
Actually I think that might be your priest… you know all those reports of priests getting charged for rape and molestation, rather than gays?
or better yet that the fact that there are fewer rapes of children done by gays than men who claim to be straight. If you want to have a debate, you are implying that you will listen to reason.
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1:44 am
the woman in the picture appears to be a female. I’m gay I’m attracted to men, it doesn’t mean i don’t know the difference between a male and a female, that apparently is the writer’s case.
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3:43 am
What does that even mean. “The woman in the picture appears to be female.” A woman should always appear to be female, but due to your type, you never know when you have men skipping around on twinkle toes and demanding we can them ma’am.
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2:35 am
The comments on this are f*ckin hilarious. Doesn’t anyone realize the author is making fun of other websites similar to this one? Or, if the author is not, then that makes this EVEN MORE HILARIOUS. Either way is good with me.
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2:44 am
I thought about that but I believe it is real and not sarcastic.
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11:12 pm
That means you still have a bit of common sense left, Eddy.
Desert the gays and come back to the Lord, it is not too late to save your soul.
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2:56 am
allright it’s f–king satire (i think.) ugh if i had a time machine i’d go back an hour and not have turned on my computer.
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8:51 am
Sorry folks, that bacon was layered on pussy, not man meat. Tuna salad with bacon anyone?
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8:52 am
It is more likely a gay with a tugger tuck. Abe said it was an image from the Advocate Awards in Georgia so it had to be a gay.
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10:47 pm
Any straight man who spends more than 10 seconds a day thinking about gays or gay sex, has a deep seated psychological problem.
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7:02 am
Nice pic Bro i will eat that rawr off her and then Bone her while i am at it perfect orgy !!!!! yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees Lord Omnomnomnomnom …
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9:28 am
The author of this article is so far in the closet he’s in Narnia.
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9:45 am
LooooooooooooooooooooooooooL
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1:43 pm
Hello may I use some of the insight here in this site if I link back to you?
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6:45 am
A list of things I would like to say to you.
1. You spent at least a few hours looking up gay porn, this is your excuse for why.
2. “Judge not lest ye be judged”….wonder where that’s from?
3. Where can i buy those underwear?
4. Please, for the love of god, don’t reproduce…
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