• Gays Unleash Magic Sleeping Cake Brownies, ‘Lazy Cakes’

    May 16, 2011 8:03 pm 4 comments
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  • There is nothing more dangerous than a prowling gay. Sassy, ironic, cunning. You never know if they are being totally glib and sarcastic, their humor oft left hitting your in the backside hours after they’ve gone on about their day.

    So it should be no surprise to see these homoerecters have found a new way to lull us all to sleep and then have their ways with us!

    As reported at Gizmodo.com

    Lazy Cakes! They’re brownies, sold in dirty gas station snack aisles everywhere, that promise cellophane-wrapped chocolate relaxation. And by “relaxation,” they mean fewer than two of these will make you pass out. I’ll take three!

    The Lazy behind the Cakes is good ol’ melatonin. You remember melatonin, don’t you? It’s the stuff you used to take before long flights and after longer caffeine benders. This particular treat has 8mg of the (FDA unapproved, FDA unregulated) additive, which is just 2mg shy> of being able to make an adult human person abruptly fall asleep.

    So how have they escaped FDA scrutiny? By slapping a “Not for food use” label on the wrapper and claiming instead to be a dietary supplement. Which is entirely possible if you’re on a strict sleeping-and-chocolate diet. But it still may ultimately be a tough sell, given the drug’s effects:

    Of melatonin, Dr. Seres warned, “If you take it while you’re driving a car, you will find yourself in a ditch.”

    Which, all due respect to Dr. Seres, is really a little bit of an unfair characterization. You’ll be in a ditch, sure. But you’ll be there with some delicious numnum in your belly. [NYT, Boston Herald]

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    About The Author
    Dudson Wallace If loving America is wrong, I don't want to be right. Let us restore our nation to its Godly heritage and Christian tradition as demanded in the Constitution.

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