It is a well known fact that the Pagan Heathens and The Communist Japanese love Friday the 13th for all of the sin and horrible acts that they can do to Good Christian people all in the name of a “Religious” holiday, but is it just those groups that are benefitting from this Unholy day? The answer is NO!!! The homogays have taken this day for themselves as well. It is a little known fact that the homogay twink vampire from the Twilight movies named Robert Pattersin actually has his birthday on Friday the 13th.
This must be some sort homogay black magic sorcery to be able to have your birthday fall on Friday the 13th every year. I pray that we can stop this evil homogay from preying on our children and dragging them into a vampiric orgy of blood and fecal matters. Lock your women and children in your house, brush your teeth with holy garlic toothpaste, as vampires can’t stand the taste of holy garlic so they will not try to mouth kiss you with their homogay vampire tongues. Bathing in Holy Water will also keep your family safe from the back bothering. Most of all, remember that the homogays cannot enter a house unless invited in, so even though Robert Pattersin may look like a young wholesome man, do not invite him in to your home or he will try to infect your family with The Gay.
As Christians, we must be vigilant and pray everyday for the extinction of homogay vampires.
Praise the Lord and pass the Garlic Toothpaste,