• Is Gay Contagious? 20 Ways You Can Catch It!

    May 9, 2011 8:30 am 133 comments

    Attending a pro-choice rally

    These places are dens of sin! It is well known that lesbians and gays attend these events in hopes of obtaining some young-man-penis or sweet-virgin-cherries. The liberal tint of the whole thing makes people more susceptible to to such ideas as sodomy and anal fisting. Behind closed doors, after the signs are put away and all the bullhorns are silenced, things like this often end in homo-erotic orgies, gay rape, and tears.

    Sharing a soda

    Sharing a soda often leads to the exchange of bodily fluids. The small amount of saliva you are ingesting now could come back to haunt you in the future. Studies show that this is a gateway activity, to get you used to the taste of the same sex in your mouth. It starts at letting one of these gays share your Pepsi and ends with him shoving his penis in your backside repeatedly.

    Listening to Lady Gaga

    Lady Gaga is a transvestite. This has been proven beyond a reasonable doubt with not only candid pictures posted to the Internet, but also in the fact that her songs glorify homogay behavior. Even the most staunch Christians can be affected, as a brother at my church went full-on tranny after happening upon her latest fare “Born This Way”. Poor brother Shamus will never be saved again. Make sure you keep an eye on what will be next on the Youtube playlist after listening to Christwire’s holy radio programs.

    Skateboarding

    When men grow long hair and take up a sport that appeals to children, those very same children get molested. Incidences of anal rape at skate parks across the nation have soared in the past few years. Touted as ‘community centers’ these places are actually used by homogay recruiters who go by the name of “Juggalos” to entice new members to their sick sodomizing circles of sin. Say that three times fast, and God may just save you from these roughians.

    Shopping at Hot Topic

    Hot pink shirts for men? So called ‘wifebeaters’ for women? Glow in the dark sex toys? You will find all these and more being sold to underage children at any Hot Topic in any mall in any country in the world. Items such as these can only make you homogay, and the money from your purchases is often used to support the gay agenda and to put billboards up in otherwise decent God-fearing American towns.

    Reading ‘Fight Club’

    Many young men read this book without knowing the author is a homogay debaucher! The entire plot is based around homogay activities such as naked wrestling and homo-erotic fire play. Reading it will give you a sense that stuff like this is ok, and not against God’s plan for us. The writer, Chuck Palaunick, even had the audacity to send his character to heaven in the end. That is somewhere in which his homogay self will never visit!

    Wearing a piercing on your face

    Back in the eighties the gays used to have a code regarding which ear your ear-ring was placed on. These days it involves facial piercings. If you have one over your eye, you like sodomy. If you have a nose piercing you are the sodomizer. If you have one attached to your lip, you go both ways and also enjoy fecal matter. This is a secret code Christwire investigated many days to obtain, hopefully the good Christian readers will heed and take cation of this warning.

    Registering for the Democratic Party

    Attend a democratic event and you will no doubt be surrounded by homogays. They try to entice you with chants of ‘change’ and ‘hope’ when in reality the only change they want is your clothes to be gone and the hope they offer is that of anal rape. Lesbians are especially prevalent at these sin fests, as the opportunity to meet and possibly sleep with Hillary Clinton is high. Also their short hair lets them blend in with the feminine gay males who come looking for penises instead of vagina’s.

    Failing to renew your hunting/fishing lisence

    While the rest of the men are out providing for their families with good elk meat and a few trout for good measure, you will be at home with the women folk, learning cooking, cleaning, and how to be feminine. By the end of the season you will probably be decked out in an apron crying to anyone who will listen about how nasty fish entrails are and how your perfect manicure is ruined.

    Frequenting the same pool as gays

    Many gays enjoy fornication in public pools. In the olden days, this only went on after hours and under the cover of dark, lest the two offenders be covered with tar and feathers and ran out of town towards Mexico. Times have changed, however, as the liberal homogay agenda has made it ok for them to do such things in front of your kids. No doubt this will give them wicked sinful thoughts. You’re better off just turning on the hose in the backyard and cooling off the way God intended you to; without gays fornicating everywhere.

    Watching “Dancing With The Stars”

    Many of you may think this show is innocent at first, until you see what it did to once prominent NFL linebacker and strong man’s man, Warren Sapp. Mr Sapp entered the show in a previous season, won, and was forced to retire after he couldn’t stop staring at genitals in the locker room after the game. We mourn the loss of Mr. Sapp to the gay community, however his example can be used by many to avoid such a fate themselves.

    Owning a Shit-Zu

    Small hairy yapping dogs such as these beasts have no place in a good Christian home. The owners, in order to pick out such a tiny dog, must be already afflicted by one of the aforementioned items. Before long you will find yourself putting pink ribbons in your dogs hair and carrying him around in a purse. Sodomy follows close behind. As does homo-oral activities. Be warned, brothers and sisters, the homogays have bred traits into these dogs and they will attempt to put their nose in your anus as you sleep.

    Smoking marijuana

    Many believe this is a harmless activity. Many also believed Hitler was harmless. Once you are high off one of the cigarettes, there is no telling what you might do. Rape. Murder. Sodomy. The reason we banned it in the first place is because it made the blacks violent enough to wander into white neighborhoods and rape the women. The same is true today, except it is the men they are after this time.

    Perusing a comic book

    Men running around in tight spandex blowing up buildings and disrespecting America is no type of fare to raise your children with. Studies have shown that the link between homogay adult activities and reading comic books as a child is stronger than one may at first believe. A full 90% of gays admit to reading comic books as a kid. While that number may be staggering, 95% admit that one of their fantasies is to have sex with Batman.

    Allowing gays in your house

    Once they sit on your furniture and grab a hold of your remote control, it is over. Your television will be plastered with images of penis on penis action. You may have to call the police to have them removed as it is well known gays are awkward to deal with and will always claim discrimination. The real discrimination here is that you don’t want to be gay and they are discriminating against you for that. Be sure to keep pepper spray around in case you have to chase one of these fairies out of your house with force.

    Purchasing homo-erotic shampoo products

    God intended us to clean ourselves with good non scented soap. He did not expect for the gays, though. They like to smell like fruits and vegetables in order to entice hungry men back to their lairs for homogay rape. Homeless men are usually targeted by these heathens, and as homeless men will usually do anything for a meal and warm place to sleep, except working and paying for it themselves, it is often successful. These activities are funded by the sale of such scented soap products and often even endorsed by companies such as “Vidal Sasoon”, “St Ives”, and “Axe Cologne” in their marketing efforts.

    Making a profile on a dating website

    There are plenty of good Christian women at your local church. Dating websites are for heathens who are looking for the type of debauchery that the Lord looks down upon in his home. Also, most of the women in the pictures also have penises. You get them in your house, teach them to cook and clean, and marry them. Then, on the wedding night the jig is up, and you find you are involved in a homosexual marriage without even the slightest chance of going to heaven.

    Adopting a vegan lifestyle

    God made meat for us to eat. Since homogays hate god, they hate meat as well and often adopt diets such that prohibit fine steaks and juicy hamburgers. “But where do they get their protein from?” you may be wondering. Sperm, and that is exactly what you will be forced to do if you let one of the liberal homogays entice you to choosing such a thing with the promises of good health. The Lord is all the health you need.

    Working at a hair salon

    Only gays cut hair. Real men have real jobs. If you happen to be one of the millions of Americans out of work due to Kenyan President Barack Obama’s economic plan, you might find yourself in a position where this type of job is offered to you. DO NOT take it. Starve first. It is not worth the gay experiences you will no doubt have before you are forced to quit because the owner found a younger, cuter man to do the job.

    Fornicating before marriage

    Fornicating before marriage leads to sin. It leads to abortion, gay marriage, and socialist views. In a good Christian society, such as we are supposed to have here in the United States, men wait until the woman has proven herself to be good mother and kitchen material. If you don’t a woman will no doubt scorn you along your path and steer you towards the road of gay. I have seen it happen to many a brother caught in the throws of lust.

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    About The Author
    Alex Keating Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

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