At church this morning I was speaking with another Christian father and he mentioned this new trend that is sweeping like hell-fire across the world called “planking.” He claimed that this is innocent fun and that he allows his children to take pictures of themselves being planked. I had never heard of this new life style choice but I didn’t like the sound of it at all. I rounded up my children and their mother and rushed everyone home, skipping the normal Sizzler lunch that we have after Church in order to get to the bottom of this scary new trend.
The first thing that I discovered about planking is that it comes from Australia. While Australia claims to be a white Christian country, anyone with an Atlas can see that it is firmly planted on the Muslim side of the world, which means that it cannot be fully trusted. Also, Australians, or “kiwis” as they like to call themselves, are largely homosexuals. They boast that they have the largest gay pride parade in the world, and you can’t walk down a street in Sidney without some sick cross-dressing fairy pinching you in the rear end. The also have the highest rate of child sexual abuse, with 1 in 3 children appearing in Australian snuff porn. So this isn’t looking good.
The second thing that I learned about planking is that it is dangerous – very dangerous – and hundreds of innocent white children have already been killed performing this homosexual fad.
So what is planking? It is hard to explain, but basically gays encourage your virgin child to lie prone on the ground in the receptive or “bottom” position, face down and expressionless, with the body rigid and stiff like a corpse, and the arms and toes pointed like a ballet dancer. Then these sick gays take a picture before performing the next unspeakable step. What happens to the unsuspecting youth is too disgusting to write about. But you can be sure that the cries of pain and pleading will haunt your ears for a long time, and to the plank-masters it is important the the victim keep his face completely blank throughout the horrific act.
Here are some photos of planking to show just how sick it is. Warning: send your women & children out of the room while viewing these photos.
About to fall to his sure death.
Three way planking
Young Christian prepares to be planked by gay plank master, then tossed over balcony.
Planking in what can only be described as “France”.
Planked and ready.
Innocent Christian daughter about to be plank raped.
Planking in water is the most dangerous kind. This man is dead.
Planking is a gay activity, loved by homo’s around the world.
Homogays planking and spreading AID’s.
Gay are sick people.
Planking is a Muslim activity, and is tightly related to their terrorists intentions on our Christian airplanes.
Muslim Terrorists planking a plane before hijacking
Would you want to fly your family in this plane?
Muslims love to plank with their pets
Planking is now spreading to the most innocent of children and if you think that children are not being victimized every day by this sex craze, these pictures speak for themselves:
Sick Homo-gay athlete spreading planking to impressionable sports fans. Notice this is not American football.
Innocent baby being indoctrinated in the gay planking lifestyle.
Lesbian Mother teaching her child this sick and dangerous life style.
Why would a Christian want this for their white baby?
Is the 69 position the only way kids can be cool these days?
Gay men should not be allowed to raise children
More disturbing planking…
Would Jesus do this?
Preparing to be snow planked
There is nothing wholesome or Christian about this craze. I have forbidden my children from ever doing something like this, and if they see or hear any of their friends performing this gay act they are under strict orders to call me immediately, so that I can alert their parents and hopefully save these children before it is too late.