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RedditAt church this morning I was speaking with another Christian father and he mentioned this new trend that is sweeping like hell-fire across the world called “planking.” He claimed that this is innocent fun and that he allows his children to take pictures of themselves being planked. I had never heard of this new life style choice but I didn’t like the sound of it at all. I rounded up my children and their mother and rushed everyone home, skipping the normal Sizzler lunch that we have after Church in order to get to the bottom of this scary new trend.
The first thing that I discovered about planking is that it comes from Australia. While Australia claims to be a white Christian country, anyone with an Atlas can see that it is firmly planted on the Muslim side of the world, which means that it cannot be fully trusted. Also, Australians, or “kiwis” as they like to call themselves, are largely homosexuals. They boast that they have the largest gay pride parade in the world, and you can’t walk down a street in Sidney without some sick cross-dressing fairy pinching you in the rear end. The also have the highest rate of child sexual abuse, with 1 in 3 children appearing in Australian snuff porn. So this isn’t looking good.
The second thing that I learned about planking is that it is dangerous – very dangerous – and hundreds of innocent white children have already been killed performing this homosexual fad.
So what is planking? It is hard to explain, but basically gays encourage your virgin child to lie prone on the ground in the receptive or “bottom” position, face down and expressionless, with the body rigid and stiff like a corpse, and the arms and toes pointed like a ballet dancer. Then these sick gays take a picture before performing the next unspeakable step. What happens to the unsuspecting youth is too disgusting to write about. But you can be sure that the cries of pain and pleading will haunt your ears for a long time, and to the plank-masters it is important the the victim keep his face completely blank throughout the horrific act.
Here are some photos of planking to show just how sick it is. Warning: send your women & children out of the room while viewing these photos.
About to fall to his sure death.
Three way planking
Young Christian prepares to be planked by gay plank master, then tossed over balcony.
Planking in what can only be described as “France”.
Planked and ready.
Innocent Christian daughter about to be plank raped.
Planking in water is the most dangerous kind. This man is dead.
Planking is a gay activity, loved by homo’s around the world.
Homogays planking and spreading AID’s.
Gay are sick people.
Planking is a Muslim activity, and is tightly related to their terrorists intentions on our Christian airplanes.
Muslim Terrorists planking a plane before hijacking
Would you want to fly your family in this plane?
Muslims love to plank with their pets
Planking is now spreading to the most innocent of children and if you think that children are not being victimized every day by this sex craze, these pictures speak for themselves:
Sick Homo-gay athlete spreading planking to impressionable sports fans. Notice this is not American football.
Innocent baby being indoctrinated in the gay planking lifestyle.
Lesbian Mother teaching her child this sick and dangerous life style.
Why would a Christian want this for their white baby?
Is the 69 position the only way kids can be cool these days?
Gay men should not be allowed to raise children
More disturbing planking…
Would Jesus do this?
Preparing to be snow planked
Satanic planking
There is nothing wholesome or Christian about this craze. I have forbidden my children from ever doing something like this, and if they see or hear any of their friends performing this gay act they are under strict orders to call me immediately, so that I can alert their parents and hopefully save these children before it is too late.
- Excited
- Fascinated
- Amused
- Bored
- Sad
- Angry
Our nation under Christ is under attack from the inside and out and only the conservative fist of God will save us. 
This website is the most outrageous bull shiting website ever!!! Where on earth do you get your stupid accusations from?? Planking isn’t gay or homo or anything!! You probably think that sex would also send you straight to hell…. Dumb shit!! Again I ask where do you get your facts?? Wikipedia??? Wow naïve bitches…
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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This website is devoted to bringing Christ in to people’s lives and warning Christian parents what may befall their children, but with a name like “peace”, I wouldn’t expect you to understand yet. Perhaps you should try reading this article before making judgements on Christwire.
http://christwire.org/2010/10/why-do-hippies-still-exist-in-america/
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You tell ‘em, Bruce! Dang French a-theist queers try to twist everything.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/fvFut.jpg[/img]
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I’ll tell you what I understand about The Father…he is the ONLY one who can judge, and unless your name is Jesus Christ, which i’m sure it’s not- then it’s best you keep your thoughts to yourself. If Jesus didn’t want gay people to live, don’t you think he would be able to control that? after all- he let YOU live didn’t he? And THAT, unfortunately, speaks millions.
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Planking is sweeping the gaytion. See they covered it here too: http://thatbitchisfierce.com/fierce-planking-is-sweeping-the-gaytion-better-hide-your-kids/
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no, no, no, NO! this is simply sick! You people are not human beings, you are beneath insects’ contempt!
What a stupid, ignorant, primitive, unspeakably inferior breed you are! You embarrass and endanger ALL Christians, and risk sparking off a backlash that could cost lives, if the kind or morons like you, but on a diametrically opposite side of the same continuum of insanity decide that ALL Christians are as inferior and hate-filled as you troglodytes.
You know what, your kind should be outlawed! Poor, poor America, breeding this kind of filth!
Please do the world a favour: go find a toilet, with a nice, big bowl that has a straight downtube, stick your head in it and FLUSH!
You INSULT Christ and Christ’s teaching hijack his words and use them to peddle this sick, nauseating, maggot-infested excrement.
A gallon of carbolic could not clean your mouths and no amount of scourging can ever clean your filthy souls!
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How dare you!? Brother Ice speaks truth, much more than can be said for you, sinner. You will burn if you don’t repent right this minute.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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“If you don’t agree with me, I’ll send you to Hell myself!”
Oh you crazy Christians, thinking you somehow have any amount of common sense.
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Git yer muslim ass on out here. Now git!
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/fvFut.jpg[/img]
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Ah, the illiterate cowboy twit throwing around hot words in some vain attempt to lower the quality of someone’s reputation. Why don’t you go back to your little pony show?
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What looks like anger coming out of “LN” is probably the gay and the straight fighting it out… looks like the gay is winning.
Be strong LN, you half homo-gay… and if it doesn’t work out you can can always move to some homo island and fornicate with the sinners after your shift at Cinnabon is over.
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Well put, Brother Brian, well put. And Amen.
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Dang right!
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/cg9rJ.jpg[/img]
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That was pure rude Brian Fellow,
ANY REAL CHRISTIAN (Such as myself) wouldn’t just say, “be strong..” they would say, “I’ll pray for you” or somthing like that
This is a load of b ullshit (Yes I’m christian and I cuss deal with it or do us all a favor and drop dead this instant)
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a witch!!! BURN HERRRRR…Burnnnn herrrrr!!!!
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Your “Brother Ice” can’t even spell Sydney correctly… Not to mention that Australia is not in the middle of Muslim territory, it’s so far out of the way that it’s hard to get to. I’ve been to Sydney and I didn’t encounter any of these “fairies” he decided to speak of. It was a lovely place to visit. Also the term “Kiwi” is only used by Australians to describe people from New Zealand.
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You give Christians a bad name and it makes me sad,
My fellow brothers and sisters in Christ Plank, It’s fun!
plank·ing /ˈplaNGkiNG/
Noun: 1. Planks collectively, esp. when used for flooring or as part of a boat.
2. The act or process of laying planks. (That’s what planking is)
Get your facts straight and I will quote my fave youtube vid AGAIN “Sir! Get Your Mind Out of the gutter!”
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Unfortunately,”peace”,Wikipedia has not been informed about the evil aspects of planking. Thanks to researchers like Mr. Winkle, we can warn our congregation about the inconspicuous wicked side of planking.
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I agree with you 100% but I would like to add that lots of the comments are ridiculous, idiotic and uneducated. The kiwi’s and Australians are not one in the same, just as idoitic planking and religion have nothing to do with one another. Fools and idiots – unfortuantely every race in the world has got them.
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Amen penis is gay, Amen.
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You are so right. It’s of offencive that he keep talking about how people should raise there “white” kid. I’m white, but even I can see that’s racist. and there is nothing wrong with gays, that’s just who they are!
down with racism and homophobia! PLANKING FTW!!!
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This is satirical, right?
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Well well I’m just amazed that someone can actually write this load of shit. Its amazing how stupid clever people can be lol….Is this written by an adult ?????? And everyone knows it cant be true lol Aussies like sheep anyways. Hell thee are some sickos out there but you top the list bud
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Lee, it seems you have not read some of Christwire’s other articles dealing with the “Aussie Scourge”. Here is one you may find enlightening:
http://christwire.org/2011/05/homogay-agenda-rears-its-ugly-head-in-new-zealand-through-strange-new-sex-game-called-ballooning/
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Hey Bruce I hate to break it to you, but Australia and New Zealand are different countries. God bless your dim-witted lack of basic geography.
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The sheepsex aspect of Australian lifestyle choices is news to me, but I believe it. How could you ever trust a country whose motto is “down under”?
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Yer heart’s in the right place Ice, but we got plenty a them Spaniards herdin’ sheep out here in Oregon an’ Idaho. Twisted lonely hombres, but them big dick hombres get lonely an sometimes there’s nothin but sheep for weeks on end.
Jesus makes allowances for the workin man as long as they don’t make a life style out of it and try to get married to the wool or nothin’. It’s the dang kangaroos that ain’t right. Don’t ever trust livestock with a pouch, I don’t.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/fvFut.jpg[/img]
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This is one of those weird inventions from Australia. Us in the medical community are very concerned as plankers put themselves in very dangerous situations and even last week, one drunken planker in Aussie land plummeted to his death from a high rise.
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I could have guessed! The whole population of Australia is perverted because of its contrary locations. Planking is just as much a perversion of American values as that Baphomet export fleshpot of sin Andrej Pejic.
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Never quite trust the Australians on account of them kangaroos havin’ pouches. Somethin’ just ain’t right about that.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/fvFut.jpg[/img]
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Just Because Australian Mammals are further down the EVOLUTION chain does not mean that they are not right, It means that they have adapted better to the environment and are less likely to perish, Where as you on the other hand have less intelligence then a sheep and your kind will die out to natural selection.
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The picture of the man in hotpants, a homoball player from Europe I presume, is especially shocking given that around the country this European homoball–even their organization sounds as gay as a herd of stampeding rainbows, “FIFA!” you expect them to throw in an OLE!, like those men in short pink satin pants with tassels who play at twinks-only-rodeo in Spain. But I’m digressing, around the country European homoball is used to seduce girls into the lesbian lifestyle. It is sickening.
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It is uplifting to find an active young woman such as yourself in the church. So many women your age are whorelots today.
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I’m guessing you’re using the word “young” loosely, right?
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Why, Claire, have you chosen to be such a hateful whorelot bitch? Repent now. Not “soon”, not after a bus hits you and you are drawing your last breath, but NOW.
ChristWire could use a good typist like yourself. After you shower. And put on clean clothes. And brush all that disgusting cat hair off.
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Why should I “repent”? I’m an atheist.
Oh, and I’ll have you know that I just showered; my hair is still wet from it. I also put on clean clothes that only have a few small strands of cat hair on them.
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i thought she was using the term ‘attractive’ loosely, myself.
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Lurlene, Fifa is associated with homoball or soccer (devil ball). That man is clearly a rugby player, a sport although tougher than American Poofterball (with its dancing, constant stoppages and padding) is still obsessed with testicle shaped balls.
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I am struggling to believe that this site is not a joke site.. listen to the shit you closed minded idiots believe. i dont even know where to start. fucking religious idiots with skewed views on everything. try and think for yourselves for once and not within constructs that limit your ability to see things for what they really are. “aussies, or kiwis as they call themselves” are you joking? this must be an american based site or written by an american who is so daft and knows nothing of the world outside their ignorant state. get a life or better yet, lose your life, die and shut the @#$@ up.
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You sound as if you are located at the other site of creation. We don’t want your kind here, you are an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. And you can take your Baphomet back to your bush-down-under too.
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You do know that Jesus (if he existed at all) was a Middle Eastern Jew? This means:
1. He was not white.
2. He lived in the Middle East, which is faaaaaaaar away from your side of “creation”.
I think if you went back in time and bumped into Jesus, you’d probably spit in his face, you racist, bigotted zealot.
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There is no proof that Jesus wasn’t white. I’ve seen with my own eyes thousands of professional illustrations depicting Jesus white.
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Everybody knows Jesus wasn’t no sand nigra that’s fer sure. People get confused ’cause Jesus had a tan. If they’d invented Cowboy hats back then he’d have looked whiter.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/fvFut.jpg[/img]
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You’re right. There’s also no proof that Jesus existed at all. Outside the bible there is not one mention of him in any historical text from his time. You’d think if there was a guy going around performing miracles, one of the MANY historians from his time would have recorded it!
IF he did exist, what are the chances that he was white? Seriously. He was born in the Middle East, to Middle Eastern parents. If by some miracle he was white, don’t you think it would have been mentioned somewhere?! The bible, perhaps?
The reason Jesus is depicted white in illustrations is because people draw him from their imagination! Mr Jenkins, I don’t know what you look like, but if I imagined you to have three arms and drew you as such, would it be so. No.
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I’m sorry but we don’t like your kind making such FABRICATIONS about our way of life and where we live. If there is a god who created the world then he surely must of made Australia his own personal paradise Because is so diverse and so rich in culture and natural beauty. I have visited America on many occasions and have found it dull Compared to Australia.
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Ain’t no joke here. Someone’s got to tell the truth about the godless queers, foreigners, “minorities,” atheists, and city people.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/cg9rJ.jpg[/img]
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Codie
may II saddlesoap your chaps? No need to take them off
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You look like you were auditioning for Brokeback Mountain. Admit it–you would totally have made out with Jake Gyllenhal.
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I have to believe that the obviously psychotically nutzoid author of this article is being sarcastic, or my head might asplode. Does anyone actually believe that people who take silly pictures of themselves doing silly things are really about to get butt-raped by the insidious, kiwi-loving homo-gays? Please tell me this guy is kidding.
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“Daft” is a homo-gay giveaway. Christian men don’t use such words you are domed anyways, atheist (what you even call yourself.)
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At least he can fucking spell.
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what lord? you onlt believe what you do because of where you were born. would you hold the same views if you wre born in india for example?
you are useless and dont deserve to be allowed to speak nor to try and corrupt others with your drivvel. you are a scared and sad individual that needs to believe that there is some sort of meaning to it all and that there is a god that cares for you. you are no more important than any living organism on this planet, let alone the other planets in the multiple galaxies. you are the evil that the rest of the universe should smother and make silent!
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You are speaking in tongues, perfect gibberish. It is very likely that you are possessed, having carried the burden of the gay agenda propaganda too long has opened you up to demons, and you sound homicidal. Please report to your pastor before someone gets hurt and request an exorcism (they are common now, these are the end times!), and if you don’t have a congregation, your sherif. Pray for guidance!
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Where did you stick your tin-foil hat? I’m pretty sure you need to wear it at all times.
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Yer some muslim as I recall. Reverend Phil says Jesus commands us Cowboys to hate yer guts. Not real hard to do it.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/fvFut.jpg[/img]
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How could Isah tell cowboys to hate Muslims if cowboys didn’t even exist back then?
Wait, a better one. Why did he ‘tell you’ to hate if he wanted to spread love and equality?
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Take it up with Reverend Phil. All I know is that muslims are queer just like the a-theists and the French and the English royal family and just about all the other foreigners, and half the Mormons and most of Portland.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/fvFut.jpg[/img]
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Wow, The Christian Extremist is on the run, using a the old “you are possessed” Claim. This would have worked up to the 19th century. Unfortunately for you we live in the 21st century. Get with the times madam or you might find it difficult to cope with the evolution of Humanity.
PS. I Believe in the Force and I am a Jedi, It has just as much truth as any other religion.
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May the force be with you. <3
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you think its gibberish as you are no longe able to think nor understand for yourself. only thinking with a stupid “gods view” which as this site clearly shows, precludes almost every act and group of people in the world other than a dogmatic scared christian like yourself.
grow up. and get a life.. stop thinking like a child
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you are on the wrong path and a sinister one full of judgement upon others. although i do not believe in a deity nor an afterlife, that does not mean i am sinister or of disrepute and in need of repent or salvation. i think freely and my thoughts are not bounded nor controlled by some make believe superiority that you heard of from others and read of in a book. you really are a sad individual along with all that think like you do and i feel sorry for you all not to have the strength to live for this life. you say its for god and in his honour but really all that you do is to guarantee yourself a nice life after this one (not that that is ever going to happen) and its for yourself not god that you live this life of christianity. you are bottom line a spineless and scared individual and you make me sick and the world needs to be saved from religious devout dogmatics like yourself.
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I can tell from your decadent spelling that you are not from the US of A. Probably French.
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Atheists, queers, and Frenchmen are all pretty much the same dang thing.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ
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US of F@#$ing A. Do you know how snobbish you sound, you are not the supreme race your just a load of people who’s ancestor’s did not have the spine to stand up and fight for their beliefs. At least my ancestors where Convicts who had the Honor to face the music when they did some thing that the rest of society shunned.
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Upon becoming Christians we are at liberty to have God do our thinking for us,rather than relying on our feeble human cognition. Thank God for pastors.
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Dang right there. Reverend Phil does the cognating fer us Cowboys when we’re out ridin’
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/fvFut.jpg[/img]
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I regret to inform that I am not from France. However I would love to far more to be French than American. That is not the point of this conversation and the fact that it is all you can say after what I wrote to you is again sad. And by the way, it was my punctuation that I left out and didn’t use so ‘decadently’ but my spelling was not too bad not that that has any relevance in this conversation. Nice use of sarcasm however (lowest form of wit).
You are both jokers and don’t deserve all this attention I’ve already given this ridiculous site. Bye now, jokers, and I hope you wake up one of these days, for your sakes.
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You might as well be from France. Queer is a way of life there, and atheists are also queers so you would be happy in France. Just stay outta cowboy country.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ
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Cody you really are as dumb as a box of hammers aren’t you?
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honestly go back and read this article again and look at the judgements you make of others with absolutely no backing whatsoever. I thought it was only God that was justified to judge. Religious hypocrits.
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I’m a christian from the United States, and after reading this garbage, I’m ashamed of both of these things. I really hope this a joke website because the perverted crap coming out of your mouthes can only be explained by normal internet trash. Yes, I’m convinced this is a joke, but in case if its not: Go speak with a true christian and not some radical freak like yourself. Retarded statements like: “Muslim Terrorists planking a plane before hijacking” and “Is the 69 position the only way kids can be cool these days?” and “Young Christian prepares to be planked by gay plank master, then tossed over balcony,” make me definitely believe that this just some joking internet-trash.
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I think they’re kidding. Look at the homepage–toilet seat etiquette for the christian household? It must be a satire, or my head asplode.
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“queer is a way of life there.” haaha you are such a fucking fool. and this is your level of deductive logic “atheists are also queers”. shows why you believe in some tool in the sky that needs you to tell him how great he is and praise him and scare you into doing it by saying that if you denounce him you will go to hell?? what a loving legend character!! fuck you idiots all of you!
mission impossible = trying to reason and be logical with religious folk. expecially with far gone extremists like yourselves.
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Seems to me yer lookin’ for a way out of yer queer forest, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. That about the size of it?
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ
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Surely you can’t be serious. I didn’t get nailed to a cross to have people like you spread this kind of nonsense.
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great comment cody ‘cock boy’ brown wings. cowboy riding christs knob-piece
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great comment cody ‘cock boy’ brown wings. blowing for christ one knob at a time
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You seem to got one heck of a queer fixation. You from Portland like most a the queers in the West?
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ
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You’re the one fixated on ‘queers’ that means you’re a closet case.
hating hating hating, but admit it… you just want LOVE.
In your anus.
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its actually “you seem to HAVE” not ‘got’. cody the simpleton. your comments are that of a 4 yr old’s and they hold no weight. nothing you say has any validation or any logic behind it.
cody wing? cowboy for christ? seriously now…
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Dang right, there’s Christian cowboys.
http://www.christiancowboys.com/
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ
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this is truly horrifying, If I see any of my grandkids or great grand kids doing this I will surely beat them
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Ya, this is definitely a troll website. Have fun thinking you kids are funny.
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Jesus ain’t no troll like in them Henry Potter movies that Reverend Phil says not to watch.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/fvFut.jpg[/img]
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What kind of attention whores make a fake website like this? Couple of 15 year olds sitting around and they’re like: “We should make a fake extremely radical mocking christianity website to be funny and get attention.” ?
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Nothin’ fake about it. We’re spreadin’ the gospel the best way we know how. I’m pitchin’ in with the rancher ways. People oughtta be listening real careful, because there ain’t a single queer in cowboy country which is more than they can say in the cities especially Portland.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/fvFut.jpg[/img]
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Amen brother. These people are far from Christians!
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Does Reverend Phil also tell you when to suck his cock?
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Ma’am
I fear that if any of your g’kids or gg’kids do tis sort of thing it is YOUR fault for not raising your young’uns right with the Lord.
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Please forgive the previous comment, I was fired up with fear of the young being tempted into evil.
I know that in this sinful world, one that is rejecting our true saviour, even the most dutiful and well raised children can be tempted to stray into the clutches of Satan, and to allow their lithe young bodies the pleasures that flesh can experience.
We must teach good Christian children to be strong and flee the attractive face of evil
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This is a huge misunderstanding. This ‘planking’ thing is only an internet joke, derivate from the ‘laying down game’, which consists of laying down unmoving, like a ragdoll, so other person can take a photo, and then uploading it to the internet for laughs and jokes.
Gay activity? Muslim activity? TERRORIST activity? Everyone with bones and muscles and some brain can do it! You take it too seriously, guys. You should calm down and laugh once or twice. Like, really hard. Laughing is good for the mind, body and soul, fact!
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That kinda thing is what the foreigners do, and if we didn’t have any foreigners we wouldn’t have any queers.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/fvFut.jpg[/img]
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Um… a simple question: Could you write properly? It’s not THAT hard, you know? Try spelling better, yes?
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You insinuate that you are in support of genocide, Cowboy Hitler.
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The pictures look like their just face down. They look ok.
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People have died. Do a bing search if you don’t believe me. This is not safe or Christ-centered.
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How is it not Christ-centered? Wasn’t Jesus basically planked vertically on that cross?
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An interesting and unusually clever point for you Claire. I will have to mull that one over.
Ok, done.
His toes were pointed, but his arms were not at his side, and definitely his face was not expressionless, so I will have to say that Christ never planked.
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one could say that he GOT planked…but only a sinner like claire would say that
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People have died walking their dogs, is that therefore not chris-centered?
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is this a satire website? coz im laughing at EVERY article on this website!!! Its so amusing. This Ice dude must have a screw loose or something. Everything he doesn’t like is homosexual, Portal 2, planking everything! Hmm i dont like this OK ITS HOMOSEXUAL. Get over it you idiotic people!! There is nothing homosexual about portal 2 or planking!! Only people with dirty minds would see such a sing in a perfectly normal game/activity. Or this weirdo Ice dude is only a Troll that likes trying to make people mad
Have a nice day WEIRDOS!
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And what did YOU have for breakfast today? Good, pure American oatmeal, or a big shot of heroin?
I will pray for you.
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Ooh, I wanna try American oatmeal. Shame I live in the queer side of the world as a foreigner English lass, sit watching homoball and pray to the spaghetti monster.
No but really. I don’t see the harm in this if it’s not in some ridiculous place like the top of a mountain, perhaps. If people have died it’s their fault for attempting something in silly places!
Cody, are you southern? Your typing makes me think so. I could be wrong, my knowledge of God’s Continent is limited.
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River Song, we will have no talk of the Satanic flying spaghetti monster church here on the Christwire!
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Oh no, might as well damn me into Satan’s armpits now
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The Lord watches you from on high from His mighty golden throne, his white beard flowing in heaven’s sweet breeze. He will be the one doing the damning! You still have time before 21 Oct though to kneel before his might, as the rest of the people at Christwire have done.
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His beard could flow into my gullet for all I care and I still wouldn’t do any kneeling. Besides, it’s bad for my legs.
Come on, we all know the 21st October malarkey is a farce. Anyone who still believes Camping is as stupid as him. He needs to be sectioned.
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“Cody, are you southern? Your typing makes me think so. I could be wrong, my knowledge of God’s Continent is limited.”
Cody is WESTERNER.
NOT a southerner. We are good god fearing folk in the south. Not dirty gay cowboys like him.
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Dang English poofter queers, stay home.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/cg9rJ.jpg[/img]
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what is a poofter?
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Sister Susan, I believe a “poofter” is something that only gay cowboys know about. Possibly something having to do with a sin scepter and a horse’s backside, since horses and the cows he herds are known for their evil flatulence. I don’t think you really want him to answer this question.
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Something tells me that Abe is not really American, then, as he is constantly spewing his oatmeal on the sides of his trailer. The same goes for bran. A true American would never have such an adverse reaction to oatmeal.
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More nice work iceman.
I had never heard of this planking. If I saw one of these people I would have assumed they were dead or need an exorcism.
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Believe me, if you are ever at a party, and someone raises the possibility of planking, grab your wife and leave without saying goodbye. Nothing good comes from this.
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That homo with his head in the toilet has it right! Mmmm… His poopie hole is raring to go while eating the delicious corn laden poo in the toilet! That is what I do on weekends, or should I call them leekends?
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dem der homo is daring shit man scary shit dem motherfuckrs day should be put to death by a uhhhhh
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Like most Americans, I am sure you have never even left the US, it certainly shows starting with the fact that you can’t spell Sydney, and you probably thing that is the capital city to boot.. and thirdly “kiwis” are from NEW ZEALAND, a quick internet search would show you that…
Anyway thank you for the laugh because it is hard to believe something when there are SOO many incorrect facts.
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Kiwis is nothin’ but a bunch a fruits. Joke there ha ha, dang foreigners. Question: You got them kangaroos with pouches there too? Don’t trust pouches on livestock. Somethin’ ain’t right.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img]http://i.imgur.com/cg9rJ.jpg[/img]
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I completely agree, brother Cody. Nothing good can ever come from ”down under”. The very term is profanity.
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If I told you I was Christ Cowboy, what would you do to appease me?
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You’d end up with a mouth fulla lead. I think Cody has the God-given brain to know that Christ would never troll a moral website like Christwire.
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I agree about the kangaroos. Th’ar the same thing as them fanny packs that them metro-queers wear.
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As a Christian, I can honestly say I have played it, my friends have played it and it has never led to racism. Your use of language is offensive and I can tell you that derogatory language towards homosexuality and other faiths is not the sort of language of love Christ would use. Please stop spreading lies and start spreading love.
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FUCKING LOL, IS THIS SHIT REAL? phahahaha fucking crazy Christians. BTW I take it up the batty
<3
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[...] Your Child at Risk of Being Planked? http://christwire.org/2011/05/is-you…being-planked/ Reply With Quote + Reply to Thread « Previous Thread | [...]
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This has got to be the greatest troll of all time. I applaud you veritable masters of the fine art of getting a rise out of people. The lulz potential of this site is FAN-TAS-TIC.
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All you Christians are right!
I’m a 25 year-old Australian male and I just had to give you guys some words of encouragement because everything you say is just so true.
We’re all sheep-shagging homosexuals ‘Down Under’.
Australia and New Zealand are the same country and ‘Kiwi’s’ is the right term for us.
We love abusing children and putting the majority into Snuff Porn, it’s a great way to keep our population numbers down.
We’ve been listening to our Muslim neighbors for a while now and all of us agree that their way is, without a doubt, the best way.
So last week, all of the Australians or ‘Kiwi’s’ got together and had a meeting.
All of us decided that we would be Muslims from now on and that we should spread our sheep-shagging, child molesting, homosexual ways throughout the world, especially the ‘Western World’ and with extra attention being focused on North American Christians.
Don’t tell anyone but ‘Planking’ is just Stage One of our super-secret plan!
We engineered an easy to copy trend that could spread across the globe, with the help of the internet of course, so that white Christian children all over the world would think that ‘Planking’ was harmless fun and just a way for all kinds of people to share a laugh. But what they don’t suspect is that our Black Magic trend is silently sowing sexually-depraved seeds deep in their young minds. All we needed was to upload a few photos onto the internet, encouraged with a little hype and then let all the social media sites do the rest.
Very soon American children will be making their own Snuff films instead of watching the Disney channel, they will soon believe that Jesus was just a man who told stories and that Mohammed told heaps better stories. The parents of these children will be powerless to stop the transformation because when these parents try and put an end to this new “life-style”, these newly inducted agents of the Dark-Side, will rise up and over power their old Christian birth-givers, deciding that these Christian adults can not be saved, therefore, a Snuff film would be the best place for them to serve a purpose. Soon our great plan will be in full swing thanks to the simple act of ‘Planking’; huge groups of sweating, perverted children will gather around each day to watch their ex-parents being ‘snuffed out’ with unspeakable sex acts while children take turns yelling out, with hatred on their breath, “Allah is great!”. Before you can say “No Planking”, commercial jets will be falling from the sky by the dozen, all piloted by teams of young jihadist ‘Plankers’ and flown straight into all of your beloved and important buildings: your Wal-Mart’s, your Churches, your Police & Military compounds, your Disneyland’s, your National Rifle Association clubhouses and lets not forget your Republican Headquarters’!
Soon there will be nothing left of the White, Christian, America you so love and we hardly had to lift a finger in the land ‘Down Under’.
Young Ozy.
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It’s vulgar to say the least that you Christians didn’t know what we where up to seeing as the word of god reaches you, thought he would have warned you sooner? Lack of communication isn’t ideal as young oz notes we have a world to dominate. Homo gays trump god and fundamentalists should plank before me.
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Whoa … that naked guy is hot. I am glad he is a recruit of the homosexual apocalypse army I am starting. You have made the homosexual, left handed, curly haired, widow peaked, whisky drinking son of perdition most happy
see you all tonight in your wet dreams.
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WTF is this shit
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Poor old rip van winkle !!!!! Hey rip, you only upset about planking ’cause when your poppa planked your momma the best part of you ran down the crack of her butt !!
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Dear christian extremists.
I do not mean to cause offence to those who believe in a god of any sort and choose to live their lives with a moral code of conduct as that is perfectly acceptable. But I do wish to offend those who take that belief to far and by that I mean those who wish both impose their beliefs on others and who are judgmental of those who do not share the same beliefs as them selves.
I do find your definition of an Australian as a Kiwi sheep shagging homosexual a little bit disturbing as it is so far from the truth that I cannot see any man with any sort of decent education by an accredited non religion based institution would say such an out right fabrication.
First point; as many people have pointed out that the term Kiwi was an Australian term used to name the population of New Zealand since their nationalization.
Second point; The common Jargon “Sheep Shagger” is given to sheep farm hands who live in the outback of Australia. This term was derived in jest for the Sheep farm hands and provided them with a name that they could unite under, This name does not reflect their choice in whom or what they have sex with.
Third point; The Homosexuality in Australia only applies to approximatly 2 percent of Australians. The Marte Gra is a celebration of the fact that Homosexuals can live in a civilized society without been shunned, judged and can live as free people like the rest of us. It does not reflect the majority of Australians.
To Add to these points; I am An Australian Male 32 years in age who is currently married to a woman living in outback Australia where I work on Civil Construction works in the town of Kalgoolie. I have completed 13 years of both public school and High School (or as you might call it secondary school) I have also compleated 2 degrees over 5 years at The University of Newcastle; Bachelor of Civil Engineering and Bachelor of Surveying.
I am not a Homosexual Sheep Shagger who lives in New Zealand.
With these points in mind I would like to point out Australia’s view’s on Christian Extremists:
Currently Australia has thousands of different religions and only Two of which are we currently having problems with Muslims and Christians And this is because of Extremist groups from both religions. Both the Muslim and Christian extremist groups (and yes i will put you both in the same group because you are just short of being as bad as the Muslims) are causing resentment from the general public including normal Christians and Muslims Because of Outrageous comments that are being said claiming that those “who don’t believe in god – must repent and join Christianity” and “Women who dress up in scant clothing are nothing but pieces of meat that are asking to be abused”. It is quite possible that there might be a religious war where both Christian and Muslim Extremist groups might be told to leave Australia or face worse perils then that from the lands in which they immigrated from. Can you not see that Your judgmental comments in today’s free society are driving people away from your religions. No wonder the the largest religion in the latest Australian Census (2006) was Atheism.
So i put to you this Religious nutters both Muslim and Christian, Do you want to start another holy war (or as you might put it Un-Holy war) where you will lose.
Get some Common sense and wake up to your selves other wise your Australian Extremist counter parts might find themselves in a rather difficult situation. This is not a threat But rather a warning as to what could happen if you keep going on like this.
Yours truly:
A Proper Australian
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Good on you, sir.
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Alright i just happened to stumble on one of the articles while researching ATHF name change. all of you who are level minded please leave the site and stop supporting this by commenting on it. I truley believe(hope) this is just a site based on sparking controversy. dont buy into this crap.
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AHHAHAHAHAHAA what a fucking joke!!!!!!! this guy is the biggest idiot around. “Kiwis” really?? we dont call ourselves that the new zealanders do.
get your fucking facts right.
Planking is just kids having some fun being planked in the best places or with the most difficulty is the point of this new craze.
Its not some gay movement.
And the gays are no problem to society.Like you call yourself a Christian??? Well I am.
Jesus accepted everyone.
He did not speak badly about anyone.
How old are you?? GROW THE FUCK UP.
This kind of thinking is what hitler had against the jews.
so go fuck yourself.
Australians are top shit.
Gays are the bestest friends you can ever have, they are normal people. Just like you and me.
Is this the way your children should see you?
A racist homophobic prick?
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Is this real?
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This site is satire, yes. I can’t believe people actually think this is real.
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Dear mr. Van Winkle,
What a horror it must’ve been to wade through all those pictures of homosexuality… One might even start to pity you for having to endure such torture. Torture, any STRAIGHT christian would not be able to handle. You must have some divine energy flowing within you, granted by God. But one might wonder, what if it’s not a blessing from God that made you able to watch these… What if it’s a blessing from the DEVIL?
Regards,
Timotheus Rowls
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The only thing about this article I have an issue with is the very Saintly Ice Van Winkle saying Aussies like to call themselves “kiwis”. This is clearly what people from New Zealand call themselves. Apart from that, I couldn’t agree with this article any more. Well done Ice, you are an inspiration to Christian families Worldwide.
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Planking is not inherently evil, and has nothing to do with rape or homosexual interactions. Everything is a double edged sword, including this website. Rather than telling people the good word of God, you besmirch His name with your closed hearts. I hope and pray that you will see through your film of hate and nonacceptance .
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I think that these pictures speak for themselves. 1000′s of innocent white children have died since this article was written because of this dangerous and unsound craze.
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I’d like to see the reports on those deaths, sir.
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This website is horrendous. How can you be so anti gay,
You people are what is wrong with the world.
So hateful and pathetic religion should not be like this.
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these crackers aint christian,MORE LIKE BAREBACK BUTT SMUGGLERS TO ME,ICE WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND ALL THESE PIX OF NAKED MEN, HOMO
LET ME GUESS YOUR RELATED TO THIS GUY [img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c0/Vanilla_Ice.jpg[/img]
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR LIFE!!!
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FINALLY! I was waiting for someone to get the robert van winkle reference.
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Uuuuh…What the crap!? This is the most idiotic website I have EVER read! This is why people think Christians are insane!! I am a Christian and even I read this and thought “What the crap is wrong with these people?? IT’S JUST PLANKING!!” My lord *headdesk*
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One word for this article: Troll.
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Masterful troll. Yes.
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Troll are of Satan so be careful throwing abo9ut such languages.
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you guys are freaking crazy.
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AHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
/cough
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Really?
Honestly I think Jesus would plank considering it has nothing to do with being a homo- its just fun. HAHAHAHAHAHA someone needs to take the blinders off. Scuse me while I go be a HETRO and go plank on the ottoman.
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All of you “christians” that agree or those that wrote this article are simply insane to ASSUME planking is a homosexual activity. I am disgusted by these judgmental immature and homophobic people. Gay people may take part in planking but it is not by any means a gay trend. Even if it was a homophobic event what do you people care. You can choose to not take part in homosexual events. If you don’t like their way of life then leave them the hell alone. This article honestly makes me want to punch the people who wrote this article and wrote the captions below the pictures in the face.
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You’re going to hell for your RACIST and hatefilled slander.
What the fuck every happened to “Love thy neighbor”?
You people are a farce and the Vatican should burn your servers to the grown for your hate and fear mongering. You are sick.
You have no idea what your religion even means, and you are ignoring the lessons of Christ.
Love thy neighbor includes neighboring countries and continents.Get out from under your rock and get a spine, you gutless shameful people.
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Are you for real? This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read in my life. Your child is not going to get raped by a gay male you fucking idiot.
Honestly, I can’t actually believe what I am reading. You are by far the most fucked up christian bastard I have ever met in my life.
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So, let me get the straight….first of all i DOUBT you have kids cuz you’re ugly and second of all WHY ALL THE PICTURES OF NAKED MEN?????? *cough* you’re gay too *cough* you like looking at all that man ass huh? Stupid fuck
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Not trust us? that dumb christian terrorist bombed Norway, I now do not affiliate myself and my family with any other christians because they are dangerous with there bombs and what not. Shows how true and pure christianfags are.
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So a series of Muslim terrorist actions doesn’t justify suspicion of Muslims, but one isolated incident of Christian terrorism justifies you writing off the entire Christian religion? Terrorists should never be considered representatives of their belief systems, because they are extremists. Regardless of what religion they are.
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These inbred halfwit “Crustyains” are the product of rape incest. Failed human beings like Ice Van Winkle, Lurlene Tyranna Shores, Cody Wing and Bruce Danus are a clear example of what “Crustyans” filiofile incest that produced issue.
Not their fault, perhaps, but there MUST be something a sane, evolved society can do to stop them sexually abusing their own daughters and producing another generation of genetically inferior, mentally subnormal abominations like these 4!
The human genome needs purging of thesegenetic taints!
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These inbred halfwit “Crustyains” are the product of rape incest. Failed human beings like Ice Van Winkle, Lurlene Tyranna Shores, Cody Wing and Bruce Danus are a clear example of what “Crustyans” filiofile incest that produced issue.
Not their fault, perhaps, but there MUST be something a sane, evolved society can do to stop them sexually abusing their own daughters and producing another generation of genetically inferior, mentally subnormal abominations like these 4!
The human genome needs purging of these genetic taints!
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so…Is this website a joke or not?
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8=====D
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—
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Have you ever seen a shark’s penis?
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You claim to be Christian but there is zero love being shown here. The constant racism about “white” kids and parents. The fact that you basically demoralized Australians as a whole with your disgusting judgement. I have been a Christian my whole life , my brother is pastor of our church and I have never heard such nonsense come from a supposed pastor. You show me in the bible where you can back up your silly racist comments and I will eat my words. Jesus didn’t come to earth to be mean and spiteful towards anyone. He came to show love and die for EVERYONE. Even making the comment of “forgive them for they know not what they do”
Your entire commentary goes against the very essence of Christianity. It’s people like you that make it hard for others to even come to Christ. Homosexuality is wrong, plain and simple, but to judge them and to do it so harshly is not What Jesus Would Do. You need to step down from the high throne you put yourself on and remember that even Jesus said “I did not come to be served but to serve others.”
It’s called humility and love and patience. Look it up, I’m sure you’ll find real facts with what I’ve posted. And don’t you dare turn words around in the bible to suit your mood or beliefs.
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Serious Seeds und Magus Genetics…
Neues aus dem Seed Business – Die niederländische Qualitäts-Samenbank Magus Genetics ist mit Serious Seeds……
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(logo)Christwire – “conservative values for an unsaved world”?
damn. what kind of irresponsible human runs this site? the one who created this site is a disgrace, not only to his family and Christianity, but also to all of Humanity!
i haven’t seen a single, good morals and values pertaining to the content of this shit! yes, i’m a Christian and a sinner as well. but dude, you’re a racist, sexist, ignorant pervert! it’s not appropriate to discriminate people!!
i don’t think your Christ and my Christ are the same. .
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The only planks my child will be seeing are two wooden ones nailed together in the middle at right angles.
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Haha, this is obviously meant as a joke. Obviously there is nothing wrong with planking. Only you Yanks could take this seriously! (Meant in jest). For the record I have never planked, but it’s probably not as popular in Britain!
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lol at the planking pics and me, my sis, and my friend were planking on a bench and trees so much fun
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