Many of us think of our fathers with great respect, as well we should. He is the backbone of the good American Christian family. However, in recent years the liberals have been gaining ground in this country. Could this be due to men loving each other anally instead of spending time with their children?
The shocking answer is yes, and here are some signs to look for in case you suspect your own father of being a homogay.
Does he spend long nights in the garage alone?
Most gays cover up their escapades by pretending to do man-stuff. They go to the garage and bang on some tools while the gay prostitute they hire every Tuesday earns a sinful paycheck and no one is the wiser. A real man is in and out of a garage in no time, because he knows his way around. Both women and gays always take extended amounts of times to do anything involving tools and knowledge of building and fixing skills. God intended it this way so things would get done right the first time.
Does he fish with his buddies but never bring home any catch?
It is because he wasn’t fishing. Not in the sense you and I know it anyways. What gays call fishing is more like one guy sticking his penis in another guys anal cavity and secreting his sticky man love before going out and finding a baby to rape. No real man would leave a lake until he has caught a fish. If your dad comes home empty handed and you smell his left hand, it will probably smell like poop.
Has he ever been seen walking around the house in his underwear?
He was probably trying to molest you. Either that or gross you out so he could have the rest of the apple pie. No matter which it is, he is a heathen and most likely should be facing sex offender charges for not being decent outside of a fitting room or lavatory. If you ever see this, take warning and call for help as his gay lover is probably out in the bushes have a wank to full frontal back-hair homoness.
Has your mom recently stopped caring about her looks?
This can be a tough one, because it either means your dad has stopped having good Christian sex with her or that she herself has caught the homogay. Whichever it is, you want to intervene soon lest your children grow up with homogay grandparents. In order to find out which one is lying, you may need shame them both in front of your church.
Do his work buddies ever chide him for being a penis lover?
This is a sure sign that he probably is. People we work with often know us better than our own families. If one of your co-workers was homo you would probably know it before the parents, children, or significant others because when they are not around their families they may let their guard down more often and be caught staring into another man’s eyes as if in a daydream of happy fairy candy gay homo land.
Have you ever seen his penis?
Gazing upon the very instrument God used to impregnate your mom is no laughing matter and can turn even the strictest of Christians homogay. This is how gay fathers ensure another generation of gay; by showing their penises to their young offspring. Studies show more gays have been made this way than Lady Gaga, Tickle me Elmo, and Lord of the Rings combined.