Lindsay Lohan is a Lesbian Vampire, Part 3
Three times now we have captured Lindsay Lohan taking lesbian vampire pictures. With her red hair and penchant for black out cocaine parties, it was easy to tell she was an at risk lesbian. When the fangs and blood appeared though, the fate as a lesbian vampire was confirmed and no telling what sort of rabid syphillis is coursing her brain and making her do all the bizarre things we’ve seen over the last few years.
History reveals that lesbians and homosexuals were prevalent during Earth’s dark ages. The height of their prominence was marked by the Bubonic plague, a deadly form of a AIDS-like retrovirus that was spread first through homosexual orgies, where the participants would bite each other and dwell in the foulest rat excrement. The plague ravaged Europe, as drug laced homosexuals ran wildly amock, biting the neck and inserting their bodies into any living creature they could find.
Europe was nearly annihilated, but fortunately the Knights of Templar began to stone the lesbian and homosexual vampires, burying them with bricks in the mouth. Our exclusive look into the defeat of vampirism can be purchased on Amazon via DVD.
But today, we see the rise of vampires once more. Lindsay Lohan vampire status predates the popular teen novel Twilight, written by a very terrifying homosexual man known as JKR Rowling. This Rowling is a transgender, a human without a true identity. The books are teaching people the way to vampirism, all the way from blood orgies in rat excrement to randomly suckling blood from the neck and teat of strangers.
Lindsay has apparently enticed some unfortunate fan in the picture up above, and again we see, lesbians/homos care not the gender. Their passion is in the seduction and the kill. They love to mount and dominate.
In a bloody display of fiery passion, the Lindsay Lohan lesbian vampire mounts her milky smooth thighs over the final gasps of her latest victims. Rigid in the deepest pulses of ecstasy, Lohan drips with excitement and will use her vampiric powers to have one final rise of her victim, his last memory being the scent of his blood swirled with the scent of a sweating pelvis, firmly riding him to the highest throes of orgasmic satisfaction.
What a terrible fate. This is another danger of Hollywood, friends, and we have more proof of Lindsay Lohan is infected with vampirism. Keep your distance, or the same fate that befell this poor soul shall grab and rip your life too.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Thad Connely
The gentleman of choice, Thad Connely brings experience of two familial generations of news coverage and hard biting reports.
9:12 pm
Fuck yes! God… I love lindsay lohan. This article just shows me that heaven truly does exist… and in fact it is inside lindsay lohan’s lesbian vampire vagina!
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9:40 pm
That’s the best she’s looked since Mean Girls.
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9:41 pm
Does being a vampire make freckles disappear?
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11:24 pm
If she lost 30lbs and was a few inches taller, she would look like my wife last Halloween.
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12:07 am
I’ve never heard of this Lezzie Lohand woman before, but she seems like trouble. I imagine that she has a hard time getting the attention of Christian men.
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1:32 am
JK Rowling did not write the Twilight Series.
She is also a certified female who is married to a man and has several children (whom she gave birth to, just fyi)
Check your facts before writing an article, dillwad.
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1:45 am
I am sending this out as a URGENT email to all of my friends who are concerned at the direction this country is headed under it’s current “leadership” under Barrie HUSEIN Omaba!!!
I’m not sure what country I woke up in but I thought it was America. Would lesbian Vampires be allowed to roam around and get their picture taken as they were dranking the blood of her victims? DISGusting!
I don’t care much for the Catholics (exsept they hate the gays, too), what with them praying to Mary and molesting boys and all, but she does need one of them priests to throw some holy Water on her and get that demon out of her!
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1:47 am
I couldn’t have said it better.
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4:54 pm
This is the most disturbing website i have ever been on. Are you psycho or just stupid? First off JK Rowling is a female who wrote Harry Potter not Twilight, and i know some of you will not care because they both promote alternative imaginary worlds, which is obviously above your comprehension skills, since lindsey is doing a photo shoot, she is not a real vampire and you people cannot seem to tell the difference! And to Joe Slaughter: Are you Christian because you sure don’t act like one, spreading hate like its your job! And Obama is the president for what two years now, get the F@#$ over it already, jesus! I bet your one of those people who thought GWB was a god damned saint. Before you go posting on a website called christwire, don’t insult half the christian world i.e. the catholics, no one denomination is better than another all religions are equally important including ISLAM and JUDISM, which are so close to the christian beliefs it would shock you to know how similar you are to those muslims and jews, so instead of spreading your ignorant trash around the world wide web, maybe stop and think am i an asshole, if the answer is yes, which it most likely is, don’t post!
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11:09 am
I would never call you an asshole but I am glad to hear you are a lapsed Catholic, because the Catholics worship the devil.
I am proud to be a Christian and hope you can discover the miracle of christ so we can spread his message of love together throughout the land! (and make sure homosexual lesbians and their bloodthirsty ways never get the upper hand)!
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1:50 am
All homolesbians like Lindsay Lohan are whores and a drug addicts.
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