• Long Fingers: Masturbatory Bliss or Death Sentence?

    May 10, 2011 11:56 pm 59 comments
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  • Once a source of hedonistic pleasures for women, it has now been revealed that having long fingers may be symptomatic of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis.

    Sinful spinsters have often enjoyed the self-parting of the pink seas , but it’s no longer something to get wet over. ALS is a neurological disease that often strikes baseball players and causes muscle weakness, disability and eventually death. There is no known cure for this disease.

    Now researchers at King’s MND Care and Research Center at King’s College London have discovered a correlation between the length of one’s finger and their likelihood for contracting the disease. The report was published in the May 9 edition of the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry.

    The investigators looked at the ratio of the length of each person’s index finger to ring finger — called the 2D:4D ratio. The researchers found that 2D:4D ratio was lower for people suffering from ALS, compared with those without the disease.

    Early onset masturbation or “finger in the box” is a likely cause of the short 2d:4d: ratio.
    Commenting on the study, Dr. Michael Geoffrey Benatar, an associate professor of neurology at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, said that:

    “the idea that some early event in life makes one’s susceptibility to a neurodegenerative disease is not an unreasonable idea at all.”

    As reported before, masturbation is a sin, it is rape, and our children should be taught that “one in the hand two on the bush” is a bad thing. Something that can cause, blindness, foul smelling fingers and now ALS.


    May is National Masturbation Month. We need to work together to make 2011 the last year it is legal.

    More information
    For more information on ALS, visit the U.S. National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke.


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    About The Author
    Senator August Weisz Retired Hydroelectric Engineer. Now spend my time helping others who won’t help themselves. http://christwire.org/august-weisz-biography MA

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