As another collegiate year comes to an end, many young men will face a trial that many of us seasoned veterans of years past have endured: the female coworker who yearns to expose her voluptuous chest with ill-fitted blouses, sultry subtlety lost upon eyes that must not stray too far lest we be attacked by workplace ethics violations. My friends, we are at a crisis point and we must stop this injustice to mankind before another generation of young men are forced into this endless, barbaric cycle of exposed mammalian ludicrosities.
An innate component of female nature is seduction. Laden within the XX gene set is a propensity for phallic temptation, perhaps a vestigial reminder of woman’s sordid past in the Garden of Eden. Adam was fine in his time on Earth until he was seduced by his wife, stark naked and staring him down with two double barrels of God-crafted perfection.
And to this day, women recognize the edge and power they wield over men. With but a slip of the thumb over the buttons of a blouse, a wife who leaves home looking like a chaste wife and mother can become a menacing temptress at the workplace. It is a crisis that has men nationwide concerned, upset and very uncomfortable in what used to by the second home domain of man.
There was a time and place in America, where American men could be comfortable at work. Going to the office was a cherished and fraternal task, a place where you could put in a solid eight hours with your colleagues and discuss sports, family hijinks and stories of dedication to decency, country and home. Men were chaste and workplace affairs were unheard of. It did not exist.
But as time progressed, feminist lemmings under the eternal unction of the dour Susan B. Anthony gained grounds to achieve jobs of repute and power at work, and with that right, also gained an invisible right: the ability to dress in a very inappropriate manner without being questioned. Why?
A simple glimpse and mention is grounds for a sexual harassment lawsuit, it means a man was looking where he was not supposed to glance. If no court of law will dare deny a woman’s sexual harassment claim, men are left powerless.
The truth of these words were tested in 2007, in the case of BOUMEHDI vs. PLASTAG HOLDINGS, LLC. The plaintiff in this telling case was a woman who wanted to wore skirts and blouses to work. The employer, Plastag Holdings, dared defend an employee who was forced to look at the woman as she was bent over in front of him, finally exploding by saying something to the effect of “Stay in that position, it is work”. It was a clear-cut case of a man’s right to defend himself from lusty assault versus a woman’s right to lead a man, who simply desires to go to work and provide a living for his family, into the temptation of sex-driven conducts. The verdict?
Innocent, the male victim was forced to endure so many things and was found innocent by law.
So if the legal system of America has set precedent that if women tease and tempt men with exposed bosoms and juicy, lustful lips as they whisper “strong work” into your ear and massage your rippling shoulders under your shirt after a great day at the office, sashaying away in a short skirt and tight, midriff exposing blouse, why is there still a culture of damnation for men here in America. Why are women allowed to harass us with their dress and if we look, other female coworkers will accuse us of cheating on our spouses and being perverts.
There is a Culture of Carnality in America, where men are objectified and the perceived excesses of male domination in the workplace is being institutionalized as a justification for raunchiness by women entering the workplace. No longer is sexual harassment of a woman an enduring problem, but rather, there is something new. A new monster that is affecting the sensibilities of men and forcing them to succumb to the will of women in the workplace. No longer is sexual harassment the beast of concern, but today, Sexual Enticement of men is the greatest tragedy in the office.
Just like the freshman male victims of drunken sorority vajazzling at colleges nationwide last fall, new male employees to the workplace are seen as fresh cougar meat. Female supervisors and women with seniority lick their chops and like a peacock on the prowl, strut and prance in front of their new co-worker.
Men, these ornery vixens do not care about the ring on your finger. They care not about the 8 years of schooling you had to endure. They only care about their desire to hunt down their prey and force you into lunchtime trysts, where they hold you down behind a desk or dingy, forgotten bathroom, lifting their skirts and finishing off the buttons to their blouses, then exhausting you with 30 minutes of wild workplace seduction and exploitation. When they are spent, they will moan with heavy desire and bite you in an act of fleshly domination, the hot, lurid sweat from their body drenching you and cooling you with shame, your heart racing as you notice the irremovable lipstick stain they left on your shirt, so you’ll have explaining to do at home.
They will end up either pregnant, repeat offenders or calling you at home. Or even worse, taking you — the man — to court and citing you made aggressive passes at them, even though they were in the wrong and just looking to exploit you. Men in college and work in positions of power are sharply declining, and these female vixens are to blame. Have you been the victim of sexual enticement?
The Threat of Female Sexual Enticement in the Workplace: 5 Seductions All Men Will Face at Work, Beware
1. The Asian Assistant Marriage Assassin
The first temptress who you will encounter in the corporate world is the Asian office assistant. Always fully awake and alert, you will hear her coming a mile away as she perfectly saunters in a pair of stilettos, tight, workout legs emerging from a faultless skirt that rides her toned backside like leather on a belt whip. She will blow her breath in your ears for weeks on end, each time sending the hairs on your neck standing on end, trying to ignore the subtle cleavage emerging from her bent over bosom.
“Would you like to go out for lunch today?” She will wear her tightest, perkiest outfit of Asiatic perfection and the smell of her cucumber melon body lotion will fill your loins with feelings of lust and betrayal. You will try to deny her advances, but good luck. These women are professionals. Unlike the sorority girls who tried to ply you with alcohol and drunken nights of Nattie Ice fueled threesomes, the office seductress has been around this bush before. She applied for the job and was qualified, through brains or bust size. It is all the same in the workplace.
You may try to deny her advance, but just like legendary Dikembe Mutombo wagging his finger and telling a wayward player to get out of his kitchen, this woman will deny your attempts to escape her presence. One zip of the pants and she has complete control over you. You will try to hide her years of advances from your wife at home, less you end up smeared like millions of other men who were forced into workplace affairs, then come out the victim when the women are at fault.
2. Seduction of the Innocent: College Male Graduates, the new “Fresh Meat’ of the workplace
College is tough for men. Over 60% of colleges are now filled by women, while only 40% of men make it through four years of academic perfecting. This trend continues to favor females because they are seducing men. If they get pregnant, the young man is forced to get a menial job and pay child support, while the woman gets federal grant money to by the kid a babysitter, along with a support check and more grant money for tuition. Is this fair?
The men who make it from college enter the workplace, brilliant, prepared and chaste. They want to earn their way up the corporate ladder, to one day have a family and a home of their own. Unfortunately, career women are vile, voluptuous schemers.
They prey on the naivete of young men. They are subtle with their temptations and vicious in their final pounce. This young man had no chance to say no. One second, his scantily clad boss was talking about spreading into a new vertical, which he thought was the new line of products and services the company was to offer. He had no idea that this woman, whose referee styled lines force your head to look her up and down again and again, was ready to create an unprecedented type of vertical for the young man.
She plans to make it vertical and you can see the surprised shock on his face. This type of thing only happen on Sex and the City reruns that his girlfriend forces him to watch. Now, he’s the main character and he has no chance to say no. He is being pressured and exploited by a woman in a position of authority, much like millions of hardworking men each and every day. This referee boss will play whistle-blower when she’s done with him, telling human resources that he attacked her sexually and ruin his life. She will then hire new fresh meat and start the process all over again.
3. The Smiling, Talking Co-worker Who Constantly Plays With Her Blouse in Front of You and Acts Like She’s not Showing Off Her Chest to You When She Really Is and She Knows It’s Taking Every Ounce of Your Being Not To Follow Your Genetic Urge and Take A Very Quick Glimpse
You can try to look away all you want, but when a man is forced to sit across from an exposed chest of a woman he has to see 5 days a week, 8 hours a day (40 work hours of potential staring time/week) he will face an undesirable genetic urge to see the feed production center of the woman. It is human nature.
But society does not see it that way. There is an unspoken culture of Sexual Exploitation and men are the victim. This woman’s top is exploiting a man’s genetic urge to look at breast sacs. This is not necessarily wrong, aside from if a man is married. Even then, the genetic urge to see a pair of exposed cleavage is natural and preventing this natural act from occurring is torture. It is akin to holding oneself from urinating or worse for hours on a long trip, then finally reaching a toilet and being told “No, you cannot relieve yourself or you are a pervert.”
The social inequality is not fair. Co-workers dress like this to either seduce or gain control of the office. This woman may be able to get a promotion, because in her presence the man is frazzled. He wants to constantly stare at her breasts, making them encapsulate all his thoughts. “I just want a good romp in there, I cannot look and I cannot stop thinking about them!” She has won the battle of lust and comfort in the workplace, again, while the male victim is being forced to think about her buxom body day in and day out, even in his late night dreams. This is undue torture for men.
4. Women from Accounting, Nothing but Trouble
A hidden secret of the academic world is this: women who accelerate at math and sciences have dangerously high levels of libido. Ask any man who is now a doctor, scientist or math professional and you will hear lurid tales where sweaty study nights of concerted SN2 mechanisms, the classic backside attack, takes on a raunchy meaning of double entendre where tight fitting pajama pants and teasing tops give way to nude bodies and tensed thighs mounted, the cares of a final lost in a night of dorm room seduction. Zeno’s paradox, farcical as it is, is always willing taunted and tested by these test-time thigh exposers.
These women carry their mathematical and scientific knowledge to the workplace, making them twice as dangerous. They know exactly what buttons to push to excite a man and have already calculated your weakness ten seconds into meeting you. What may look like an innocent nerdling behind glasses is always a spicy, fiery sex fiend behind closed doors. Gird your loins when around account women in private, because they are unpredictable and with the minds of brilliant, sassy and calculating engineers, can turn any room into a sexual rompus joint of pain, agony and load moans of coital release.
5. Vag Diesel, the Fast and Furious Promotion Pro
Every man must beware his surroundings when hired for work. You will come to the first company meeting and see a team of peers, ones you of which you may expect to spend the next decade of your life. But take note, for the attractive women in your group will soon be your superiors (refer to chart 2) and begin to prey on your younger male counterparts.
Here is a scenario, where a boss is simply sitting in his office and planning a fun weekend for his family. His wife’s body has given way to flabby fat, the stress of four children and a career of her own taking its toll on her once firm marriage physique. Charles, we’ll call this boss Charles, is fine with that. He just loves his family and thanks God that he is in a position to take care of them. But then, the new Office Analyst wants him to get anal with her and is making it no secret.
As he tries to gather his wits, it’s too late. He’s been firmed up by the touch of her skin and then finding that she’s flying commando under a polka-dot skirt. The technique of mounted lust has claimed another victim. There are no panties. There are no build-ups. This type of seduction, where women refuse to wear panties so they can easily surprise and mount their male victims, is fast and furious. If the boss dares tell what happens, he’ll be immediately fired. No one will believe he was the victim, he is a man.
He will lose his family. He will lose his job. So he succumbs to an hour of unbridled, rough anal fornication with a woman who is so indecent, she does not wear panties under her work outfit. He submits to this and out of fear, promotes her and lets her continue to make sexual advances on other co-workers. His hands are tied. He is in a position of weakness and liberal law assures it will remain this way for him.
Friends, we have a crisis. Us men are being forced to have sex with these wild women at work and keep it secret. Is there no justice for a family man who wants to be chaste and not taunted with day-after-day butt-slaps, straddlings and orgasmic releases? It is a troubling tale and a sad fate that millions of men in America must endure day in and day out, all to provide a living for their families. In time, let us hope more attention comes to this issue so we can be released from our gilded cages of feline carnal hunger, where our loins are the protein these prowling jungle cats lust and desire. One day, let us hope the men of this country are freed from this vicious cycle of secrecy and shameful sex acts.