• Osama Lived His Last Days As a Hipster

    May 8, 2011 3:27 am 5 comments
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    Mike Watson


    Computer and television cords in disarray.  Check.  Nappy beanie cap that likely reeks of addictive reefer smoke.  Check.  Sloven robe hoodie and a neckbeard that indicates unemployment, living off the fats of a career and worthwhile life long past.  Check.

    Aside from sucking of his mother’s terror teat, Osama bin Laden is shown living the squalid life of a hipster in this final portrait of the billionaire terror leader, turned sloppy party boy and marijuana addict.

    Joining the ranks of other ironic hipsters like Bill Murray and Kristin Stewart, Osama bin Laden is living a life of squalor by choice.  While some children of wealthy blue-blooded parents are forced into a life of Venice Beach overdose orgies and worse by being ‘cut off’ to learn a life lesson, Osama belongs to a different class of hipster:  the tragic geriatric.

    You’ll note that there is not much difference in the mindset of this geriatric strain of immature new-age hippy.  Much like a group of high school students who just graduated and opt to rent out a single low rent housing project, together, and live off Easy Mac, drug residue and nightly wrestling sessions with each other to have an excuse for ‘groping’, Osama is living a poor life of late night Paki ER visits with no health insurance and a wheezy cough from all the mildew of his sloppy place.  Futher analyzation of Osama’s final ‘home’ firmly confirms these details as true.

    Creature comforts: A detailed image shows the objects around Osama Bin Laden in his Abbottabad compound, including TVs, a PC, digital decoder... and a boster pillow

    Signs of Osama’s Geriatric Hipster Status in Late Life

    1)  Cheap Television

    One of the telling signs of drug users with little money is the television.  While gang-affiliated drug users will simply steal a television or opt for a rent-to-own television if they are somewhat moral, a hipster will just as soon go to a garage sale or Salvation Army and shell out $20 of their legacy money to buy an old crt console.  Note the ugly cords leading to and from the television, another sure sign of a home were cats run amock, staining the carpet/hard floors with pungent cat urine.

    Note the second television as well, which probably does not work.  This is a common site in a squalor house.

    2.  Nerd Tech

    What’s not seen in the Osama party house photos are the likely Star Wars memorabilia and obligatory comic book set.  People who live this lifestlye play Dungeons and Dragons and Magic.  They live in a fantastical world where a group of bearded madman chanting vigorously and tossing stones into an ocean have a chance of usurping the might and power of The United States of America.

    3.  Cat Scented Pillows

    If you watch an episode of cops, note the cheap living room furniture.  You’ll see 60s era throw pillows hewn all about the place and each one of those pillows is stained with the musk of many bodies, covered up by the lurid oder of cat clawing heat, smoked drugs and the obligatory incense.

    What a sad, shallow life people like this live.   The only thing missing from this scene are cheap, broken girls who men like Osama ply with alcohol and the drunken glory the girl must feel to have a father-figure, a celebrity at that, finally paying attention to her.

    4.  Remote Control

    In the hands of Osama, there are a million different things to fear from a remote control.  A device meant to comfort the suburban homes of America can be the most deadly force in the hands of the non-Christian wicked of countries not named USA.

    But this is hipster Osama, so he’s just flipping between Al-Jazeera and Al-Qaeda terror film reels.  And probably a nudie channel.

    Eerie: The footage shows several scenes of Mr Obama at a news conference

    In this shot, we see Osama is watching is good friend Barack Hussein Obama.  How on Earth a man hiding in Pakistan, in a sheltered hovel, can know the frequency to find Obama shows that the two were kindred spirits and regularly communicated.  Osama must have felt betrayed once he found out Obama ratted his location all for higher poll ratings.

    Image-obsessed: The footage also shows Bin Laden watching himself on the television

    Lazy and obscessed with sloven behavior, Osama is living the dream of the Obamacare generation.  Sitting at home, not working and not bothered by sitting in his own filth.  One the screenshot, you can see Osama is watching old family videos where he and his tribe are vowing death to America.  You see how that turned out for them.

    Channel choices: A close-up of Bin Laden's TV shows that his favourite channel list, include Al Jazeera and the BBC Arabic channels

    This shot reveals a look into the ‘favorite channels’ list of Osama’s television device.  You can see all the terror networks are getting top billing here.

    Worth $250,000: The Bin Laden compound in Abbottabad in Pakistan was said to be worth $1 million. But local experts put the figure much lower, and footage shows it in a run-down state

    In this shot, a Soldier of Sunnishia terror is overlooking his lord’s manor.  Little did he know that in a few hours, Soldiers of God would deliver him and his terror leader to the eternal flames of hell.

    Rubbish-strewn: With paint peeling off the walls, the dirt-infested compound appears barely habitable and is a far cry from original claims the compound was a sophisticated £1m hideaway

    It is a nightmare.  This is one of the floors of Osama’s home.  The irony of this man living like a pig is lost on the mindless Democrats, but brings a firm smirk to our righteous faces.  You can tell firm legged women of Arab descent belly danced here, high on the sharpest vapors of Persian perfumes and hooka harem hangovers.  The nights of partying piled high until we were met with the scene above:  paint chips peeling of walls, clothing of strippers past gathering must and mildwe on the floor.  It is truly sad and there are many fraternity halls that look more upstanding than this pitiful picture.

    Squalid: It seems hard to believe the mastermind of 9-11 and countless other terrorist atrocities lived in such conditions

    Close inspection reveals a bowl of Top Ramen in the right foreground, littered with all sorts of other garbage.

    A 2002 interview reportedly with Bin Laden's fifth wife reveals details of a what life with a terror chief was like, including living in a cave with he and their son

    The wife of Osama bin Laden admits that she was forced to live in this filth for five years straight. 

    This would never happen in America. 

    For five years, this beautiful young woman was forced to live like a pig. 

     In a Christian home, would this woman not be treated like a queen, an equal and a contributing member of our great society.

    Beyond all this there is even more horror.

    Assassination: This picture appears to show a stain, perhaps blood. The images come as Al-Qaeda confirmed Bin Laden's death for the first time, vowed revenge

    A blood stain, where a good person was tortured for just wanting freedom of religion.  Freedom of choice.  A life relieved from the strife of theocratic oppression.  This person paid the price.  How tragic.  How tragic a life these people are forced to live, just because they were not blessed to live in the open Democracy of freedom, love and understanding guaranteed and viciously defended by our Christian nation.  How tragic.

    New satellite image shows where the U.S. helicopter crashed during the Bin Laden raid

    As our military flew in to free Pakistan from Osama’s presence, a relentless barage of Soviet Union weapons were fired upon our troops.  Such heinous things indicate the cold Russians were involved in hiding and defending Osama bin Laden, the death lord of 9/11.

    Rudy Giuliani and America rally against communism.  Our dear and angelic leader, Senator McCarthy, warned us all to be terrified and scared of red communism.  We must understand that the Pakis have no ability to form weapons capable of challenging us, but the betraying Russians do indeed.

    Did the Russians and Chinese conspire a new entente union policy of anti-America bloodlust, partnering up to shelter Osama as he made new blood pacts with Satan himself so he could carry out massive train attacks on America.  The evidence points to use, there were blueprints of Osama’s plans.

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    About The Author
    Mike Watson Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook

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