Just in time for the rapture a new Pirates of the Caribbean are coming to turn your moral christian mind to the evil homo gay ways of a pirate lifestyle.
Now I have never seen one of these cinematic homo-erotica pirate movies. I do not need to. I know enough about Pirates from history to know that I do not need to see any of them.
From the commercials that I see on TV I can tail that Johnny Depp plays a gay pirate with a homo gay lisp, he sails around raping and pillaging innocent christian islands, looking for men to plunder their tight booties and then sinfully making them walk his short turgid plank, all while drunk on rum.
If you care for your immortal soul then do not waste your money of this “film” save it for a delicious ice cream cone from Cold Stone Creamery. Imagine eating one on Saturday afternoon as your slowly raptured off to heaven.