Ready for the Swimsuit Sin Season?
Today I was over at my grandsons apartment when he received a notice about the apartment complex having a pool party to celebrate the opening of the pool.
I urged him not to go as it is almost certain that he will be tempted by the sin treats, of the whorelots there. I listed the different types of scantily clad skanks that will try to coax his sin stick from his swim shorts and into their awaiting moist sin cesspits. I thought that the information was so valuable I would share it with you.
WARNING
SOME IMAGES WILL BE DISTURBING! PLEASE ASK ALL WOMEN (UNDER THE AGE OF 65) AND CHILDREN (under the age of 26) TO LEAVE THE ROOM!
The Buxom Whore
This slut takes her god given assets that are meant for hew husband ONLY, and puts them on public display. What is her agenda? Well, it can only be to make impressionable men and worse boys go relieve theirselves of the spermatozoa poison that courses through their now blue tinged testicles
The See Through Slut
This dirty slut comes to the party in a slinky flesh colored swimsuit, as soon as she jumps into the water she has revealed all of her dirty sin treats for man, woman, child, animal, and God to see. We’ll see you alright…we’ll see you burn in hell!
The seductress
This one comes to the party dressed not much worse than anyone else. But she ply’s you with beer and other alcoholic drinks until your judgment is so impaired she invites you to her apartment. You think she is just going to talk with you, but then she suggests you get out of those wet clothes because it is so cold with the AC on.
Next thing you know you’re naked and she is on top of you humping you madly with that long hard phallus deep inside her as she coats your unprotected sin stick with sticky vaginal fluids until you both climax in a heap of sin on the floor.
A couple of months later she calls you. She is pregnant. Is it even yours?
The tattooed Nerdette
This dirty girl gets off on sticking Star Trek figures up her who-ha and proclaiming “Where no man has gone before!!!”
She is most likely a virgin, not because she is waiting for marriage, but because she is so into Science Fiction and Japanese Animated Porn that no self respecting man will have his way with her. So she turns to the last bastion of available men. Nerds.
She will pretend to be impressed by your “Grand Army of the Republic” That you made with countless star wars storm trooper figures, and will insist on viewing your collection. Once you allow her into your house she will pounce on you and commit unspoken atrocities of woman rape upon you.
The Cougar
Also known as the MILF in some circles this is an older woman who is either
1)looking to cheat on her husband
2)Divorced
3)Concentrated on her career and never made time for a man and family like a proper christian woman or
4)Popped out so many vile children the man left her.
Whatever the situation she is looking for younger men to sate her vile cravings of carnality.
The fat girl
These portly behemoths haven’t known the touch of a man since the last time they climbed aboard the gynecological
table at the ob/gyn’s office. They will do anything to have your man bits inside of them. You would think that they can not run, but much like the alligator they can run very quickly in a short burst. They will catch you, sit on you and molest you.
“How does that even stay on?”
The answer is it doesn’t…atleast not for long.
Swimsuit malfunctions/water sports
If there is even a chance of a swimwear malfunction then it is just best not to wear it.
Outdoor water sports often lead to indoor water sports, and honestly, no one wants to end up covered in urine. Especially someone else’s.
Itty Bitty Titty Committee
Many men prefer women with small breasts, we call these men gay.
Or possibly communist…liberal…hippie. But rest assured they all prefer rear entry.
These women were not blessed by god with decent sized breasts. Obviously we have to assume that God did not love them enough. We can only deduce from there why he does not love them as he does the rest of us. He must know something we don’t…like where they are going in the after life.
Unloved by God and most straight men these desperate women will do anything for the strong phallus of a sinful man.
Not as strong as the fat girls they have more stamina and will thus chase you down until you collapse and then have their way with you. Much like African Pygmies chasing an antelope.
The Ugly Girl
This abomination is the fat girl, nerd girl, and itty titty girl all rolled into one horrible disgusting sight. She has never been touched by man, woman or even by herself, as she even disgusts herself. She will not stop until she has fornicated with someone or something.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Susan B. Xenu
Although over 80 years old, she is still a woman of unparalleled intellect and passion. She brings this spiritual fire to every aspect of her life. "Sister Susan" joined our staff in 2011 and has a fiery writing style on a diverse set of topics. A widow she lives in Atlanta, Ga and has been active in her church for over seven decades! You can now add her on Facebook or Twitter. Also read her Personal Blog.
4:53 pm
I seem to have screwed up the nerd link here it is:
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5:36 pm
This is the weirdest porn I have ever seen. Either this site is a joke created by about four twelve-year-old boys, is run by atheists with the goal of shaming Christianity, or the creator of this swill should get some help.
Vaya con Dios, y’all.
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6:03 pm
this is the legitimate work of god here! keeping unmarried men chaste!
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8:00 pm
Stay strong Sister Susan… that chiiill is probably a fornicator, or a gay.
Either way he has strayed from God’s will and will suffer his torment.
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5:49 pm
Everyone on this entire site seems to be misusing the word “fornicate”. To fornicate is to have sex with A PROSTITUTE, not just having sex in general. If you didn’t pay for it, it’s not fornication.
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11:57 pm
Though shalt not JUDGE!!!
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9:28 pm
Get out of our country, MexicanT.
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5:57 pm
my grandson insisted
i put this photo up as well…I am not sure what category this sin treat belongs in…
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6:04 pm
sorry I should have resized that…
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6:45 pm
Who the HELL would want boobs that big?
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6:47 pm
Maybe you should take some pointers, Sarah Plain.
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7:16 pm
?
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8:02 pm
Maybe someone who cares about breast feeding her christian children.
You sound angry Claire, you’re not one of those barren lesbians are you?
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8:13 pm
I’m not angry at all. I’m glad to have small breasts. Large ones just seem like such a hindrance.
And while it’s possible that I might not be able to have children, I’m not a lesbian. I also don’t give a shit whether or not I can have children. I’ve never liked kids. They’re obnoxious and they say weird things.
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5:23 pm
because obviously the best way of breast feeding is by getting huge implants that will make it imposible. just like i’m the best christian ever with my weekly bible burning
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10:42 pm
“Many men prefer women with small breasts, we call these men gay.” I guess it goes for the lesbians as well
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5:14 pm
appearantly my grandson
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6:04 pm
Please, Sister Susan, STOP!
The horrible imagery of this insightful article will require a literal cleansing of my soul tonight. I feel that with your truth you have poured acid on my eyes. I will pray for all of these women. And for all of us.
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6:05 pm
p.s.
Are any of these images available in 3D?
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6:18 pm
only the fat girl pic is in 3d
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6:17 pm
I apologize for your lack of sight. I promise to stop pouring acid on your eyeballs.
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6:13 pm
Thanks, CW, for providing all of this wonderful softcore porn to masturbate to.
Keep the good stuff coming!
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6:20 pm
indeed this is porn to fondle yourself to, but GIRD YOUR LOINS, SIR! DO not make the christ child cry!
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6:22 pm
Fuck the christ child. I’ll do with these pics what I want. Mind your own business.
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6:25 pm
SIR!!!!
When I fisrt joined you seemed like a good godly man…what has happened to you!
SINNER!!!
Did Claire win you over with her feline wiles?
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6:45 pm
No, there is the true Dr. Nelson and then there are liberals who use his name to mock him and make it seem like he is making comments, when it’s not really him and it gets him pretty flustered. So they keep doing it to vex Dr. Nelson. I am Dr. Adam Nelson and it vexes me when they do it.
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7:20 pm
so this is the identity theft I hear of on the news!
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10:50 pm
Nah, Adam likes to fuck with people. No one else has his name, he just wants to dick around with everyone.
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6:35 pm
My prayer list for tonight is so long I’m not sure I can get them all in. I will be happy to leave poor Adam off the list. It seems he is beyond prayer at this time. Remember: “God answers all prayers. He just sometimes says ‘NO’”
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6:49 pm
I am Adam Nelson.
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7:03 pm
Satan is using these whores to corrupt our pure white, Christian, children.
I’m going to pray for their destruction.
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7:20 pm
Sister Susan, I hope you’ll consider doing a companion article concerning the male whores and their equally sinful beach wear.
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7:53 pm
I had actually contemplated that
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8:06 pm
Praise Jesus. Do it soon. As a fellow Atlantan, the heat of summer is already upon us and the nearly naked men have once again taken over our city. We need your voice to help us see the Sword of God, not the scepter of satan.
At least this weekend most of the homoqueers will be off to Pensacola Beach and maybe we can enjoy a quieter, more friendly city, at least for a few days.
I will pray for you to find strength to continue your great writings.
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7:58 pm
At least you value women enough to post decent masturbation material for them, too. I’m sure some of our readers (like dear Claire) appreciate the gesture!
After all, we wouldn’t want you being sexist and only showing tits.
Jolly good show!
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8:07 pm
Yes, I do appreciate the gesture, Fake Adam, but it’s pretty rare that I masturbate more than once a day. I rubbed the ol’ nubbin this morning so masturbatory material won’t be necessary until at least tomorrow.
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8:55 pm
I’ll see if I can get it up for you by then deary
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8:05 pm
If he was a real man and not some Portland faggot, he’d be wearin’ tight Wranglers and a Western hat.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ
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8:06 pm
That looks like a lot of sin in that speedo. I wonder if he needs ministering.
Do you have his phone number or website. I believe I can share what I know about the one good and true lord with him.
But not in a gay way.
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8:17 pm
I have begun to work with the young man, but much like Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ, his level of denial is so strong, so deep. Indeed, it may take the two of us to minister to him, as well as to Cody. To finally bring these young men to their knees
in prayer is my greatest prayer for today.
God Bless You Sir
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10:33 pm
All I need is once a year at a Nevada whorehouse. Between times, cowboys are their own best friends.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ
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11:55 pm
looks like the cowboy on the right pooped himself
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8:03 pm
Them things are disgustin’. Grab hold of ‘em at a Nevada whorehouse on the annual trip, then go to the chapel out back and pray, then hightail it back to the ranch. Rather bunk with the other cowboys than have them things starin’ me in the face all a time.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ
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8:57 pm
them things? boobs?
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10:37 pm
Gosh darn straight. Make ‘em look like dang milk cows, they do.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ
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2:28 am
Cowboy, your fuckin’ nots!
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8:08 pm
“so this is the identity theft I hear of on the news!”
Yeah right. You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
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2:29 am
Claire, I know this Susan lady is…nuts, but come on. Be nice to the elderly! She reminds me of my old racist grand ma
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8:57 pm
you are so hateful claire
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9:03 pm
It appears to be in her nature. I fear she’s a knob eating yellow witch.
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10:38 pm
Just like the rest a them viper women.
Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ
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11:29 am
Hmmm, I’m not sure about this article Ms. Xenu. It is highly undignified to be parading these picture around to tempt us; I spend enough of my time trying to shield my eyes from this type of smut lest mine eyes be offended and plucked out by God. Luckily — for me at least — I’m wearing my CB6000, to which only my pastor has the key. Otherwise I would likely give in to temptation and my sin-sauce would be all over the floor.
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5:19 pm
ewwww
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1:38 pm
This is a joke. This article is so unprofessional that no one can or will take this seriously.
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5:21 pm
this is more of a op/ed piece then straight news, thanks for reading
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4:30 pm
I like the picture of the ones in gold. They are covered up properly appear to have a healthy body type and wont sag when old.
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5:23 pm
the ones who look like prepubescent boys?
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8:22 pm
Wow… hahahaha
haha hahaha
hahahahahahahh abahahahhaaaaaa
This is the biggest joke I’ve ever read…………. Can’t stop laughing.
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2:31 am
OHHH YEAH! DADDY BARACK LIKES!!!
Keep up the good work Mrs. Xenu…if that is your real name!
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12:05 am
Susan,
I am a faithful, loving, middle-aged wife. According to your disclaimer, why am I unable to read this article and yet my husband can? Are my puritan values not core enough?
I am curious to understand!
God Bless.
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12:12 am
Also Susan,
As wives and mothers, are we encouraged by God to even purchase appropriate (modest, American Made) swimwear? Is it allowable in God’s eyes to enjoy a day at the beach with our family? I am anxious to seek your wisdom on this!
Thank you!
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12:20 am
Lol that was fun to read not cause the pictures cAuse my iPod wouldn’t load them, but I’ve been meaning to ask.. Am I gay for having a tattoo? I just want your guys opinion on wiether I’m gay or not for geting Philippians 4:13 tattooed onmy arm.. Ultimately idc and Im getting another one soon but please let me know
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10:21 am
Lol didnt read, thnx for the tits though
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