• Ready for the Swimsuit Sin Season?

    May 25, 2011 4:30 pm 63 comments

    Today I was over at my grandsons apartment when he received a notice about the apartment complex having a pool party to celebrate the opening of the pool.

    I urged him not to go as it is almost certain that he will be tempted by the sin treats, of the whorelots there. I listed the different types of scantily clad skanks that will try to coax his sin stick from his swim shorts and into their awaiting moist sin cesspits. I thought that the information was so valuable I would share it with you.

    WARNING
    SOME IMAGES WILL BE DISTURBING! PLEASE ASK ALL WOMEN (UNDER THE AGE OF 65) AND CHILDREN (under the age of 26) TO LEAVE THE ROOM!

    The Buxom Whore

    This slut takes her god given assets that are meant for hew husband ONLY, and puts them on public display. What is her agenda? Well, it can only be to make impressionable men and worse boys go relieve theirselves of the spermatozoa poison that courses through their now blue tinged testicles

    The See Through Slut

    This dirty slut comes to the party in a slinky flesh colored swimsuit, as soon as she jumps into the water she has revealed all of her dirty sin treats for man, woman, child, animal, and God to see. We’ll see you alright…we’ll see you burn in hell!

    The seductress

    This one comes to the party dressed not much worse than anyone else. But she ply’s you with beer and other alcoholic drinks until your judgment is so impaired she invites you to her apartment. You think she is just going to talk with you, but then she suggests you get out of those wet clothes because it is so cold with the AC on.

    Next thing you know you’re naked and she is on top of you humping you madly with that long hard phallus deep inside her as she coats your unprotected sin stick with sticky vaginal fluids until you both climax in a heap of sin on the floor.

    A couple of months later she calls you. She is pregnant. Is it even yours?

    The tattooed Nerdette

    This dirty girl gets off on sticking Star Trek figures up her who-ha and proclaiming “Where no man has gone before!!!”

    She is most likely a virgin, not because she is waiting for marriage, but because she is so into Science Fiction and Japanese Animated Porn that no self respecting man will have his way with her. So she turns to the last bastion of available men. Nerds.

    She will pretend to be impressed by your “Grand Army of the Republic” That you made with countless star wars storm trooper figures, and will insist on viewing your collection. Once you allow her into your house she will pounce on you and commit unspoken atrocities of woman rape upon you.

    The Cougar

    Also known as the MILF in some circles this is an older woman who is either
    1)looking to cheat on her husband
    2)Divorced
    3)Concentrated on her career and never made time for a man and family like a proper christian woman or
    4)Popped out so many vile children the man left her.

    Whatever the situation she is looking for younger men to sate her vile cravings of carnality.

    The fat girl

    These portly behemoths haven’t known the touch of a man since the last time they climbed aboard the gynecological
    table at the ob/gyn’s office. They will do anything to have your man bits inside of them. You would think that they can not run, but much like the alligator they can run very quickly in a short burst. They will catch you, sit on you and molest you.

    “How does that even stay on?”

    The answer is it doesn’t…atleast not for long.

    Swimsuit malfunctions/water sports

    If there is even a chance of a swimwear malfunction then it is just best not to wear it.

    Outdoor water sports often lead to indoor water sports, and honestly, no one wants to end up covered in urine. Especially someone else’s.

    Itty Bitty Titty Committee

    Many men prefer women with small breasts, we call these men gay.

    Or possibly communist…liberal…hippie. But rest assured they all prefer rear entry.

    These women were not blessed by god with decent sized breasts. Obviously we have to assume that God did not love them enough. We can only deduce from there why he does not love them as he does the rest of us. He must know something we don’t…like where they are going in the after life.

    Unloved by God and most straight men these desperate women will do anything for the strong phallus of a sinful man.
    Not as strong as the fat girls they have more stamina and will thus chase you down until you collapse and then have their way with you. Much like African Pygmies chasing an antelope.

    The Ugly Girl

    This abomination is the fat girl, nerd girl, and itty titty girl all rolled into one horrible disgusting sight. She has never been touched by man, woman or even by herself, as she even disgusts herself. She will not stop until she has fornicated with someone or something.

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    About The Author
    Susan B. Xenu Although over 80 years old, she is still a woman of unparalleled intellect and passion. She brings her spiritual fire to every aspect of her life. A widow, she lives in Atlanta, Ga and has been active in her church for over seven decades! "Sister Susan" has been a popular Christian author for over 30 years. She has written numerous books on the bible, as well as for Christwire and her own blog. She will soon be launching NewsOfChrist.com with friend, and pastor Chuck D. Finley. She loves hearing from fans, add her on Facebook or Twitter.

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