Should I Hire a Hippie?
Dear Stephenson,
I own a small bakery in Georgia and last week a young man came in to apply for a job as an overnight baker. He was a bit strange looking to say the least!!! He dressed like a gypsy and had this long, nappy hair tied up in knot. His qualifications are great and I really need to fill this position since my last girl quit to get married. The problem is we’re a very wholesome company. I’m just not sure he’s the right fit. My daughter works that shift too and she’s only 20. She’s a lovely person but she’s had her share of rebellion with the boys. I would feel strange having these two work alone together since I’m only around in the day time. He told me up front that if he takes the job he wants two weeks off in August to see some music concerts out west but on the other hand he did have a lot of great ideas for new snacks we could make. We really need to fill this position and he seems really, really friendly, but should I be concerned about hiring this sort of man?
Signed,
Georgia Peach Cobbler
Dear GPC, Thank you so much for having the courage to write this letter. Your question is an important one because it brings up many issues that parents and business owners are facing today. I am reminded of Proverbs 21:5, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty” and I think it’s wise that you assess this dilemma very carefully. Another business tip can be found in Proverbs 18:15, “Intelligent people are always ready to learn. Their ears are open for knowledge.”
First and foremost, there are health and financial concerns to consider when hiring this type of person. From your description of the nappy hair and clothing, I suspect this man follows the hippie lifestyle so popular among young people right now. Many of these types wear sandals. You should be aware that this is inappropriate footwear for a cooking environment and would likely get you a hefty fine from your state health department. Also, hippies are politically aligned with a radical ecological view of food and farming. At great expense to you, this man may demand that your fruits and nuts be locally grown and pesticide free. He may want your staples to be produced at organic factories that adhere to unnecessarily strict labor requirements. This is a big issue with coffee, where liberal activists have forced so-called “Fair Trade” beans on small businesses. The results could push you to the brink of bankruptcy.
On a personal level, I would check his references thoroughly and verify that he does indeed have a home address. Often, these hippie youths live in cars or vans, moving from one parking spot to the next, always a step ahead of the police. Would you really want someone camped out in your shop’s parking lot, drinking water from your hose and using the bushes as a toilet? Please keep this in mind.
The young man’s mention of special “snacks” also concerns me. Hippies are marijuana specialists. One trick they’re fond of is packing that foul drug into brownies. It helps them transport the narcotic across state lines. For users, these psychotropically-enhanced baked goods push them to intense hallucinogenic highs. It also feeds the dire hunger pangs an abuser suffers from. The more they eat, the hungrier and higher they get. It ends up becoming a vicious cycle. There is also a chance this man could be secretly trying to use your business to gain access to ample supplies of yeast and flour. Working at night unsupervised, he could quickly turn your bakery into a clandestine “Magic Brownie” lab. Much like meth labs (click here for a definition), these types of illegal bakeries are incredibly dangerous. The fumes alone can scramble one’s brain irredeemably.
As an adult there is another critical point that you need to be aware of. Hippies have been known to have very strong libidos and little sense of traditional morality. You have to remember these are the same people who protested against everything Presidents Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush ever did. They rioted against our battles to bring love and righteousness to the Middle East. They fought against the blossoming of our economy and have refused to take a patriotic role in homeland consumerism. Instead, they spend their days dancing manically in the shadows of American global primacy and Christian Evangelicalism.
With this in mind, please be aware that this young man may have his eyes set on your values. Hippies regularly use their “friendly natures” to invade one’s personal space. He will start off by complimenting your clothes and winning your confidence. Before you know it, he’ll be greeting you with a big, firm hug each day, pressing his limber frame tight up against you, hoping his necklaces tangle with yours so that he has an excuse to fumble a youthful groin against matronly hips, conspiring for that moment when hands join for an ill-conceived rhythmic embrace or even worse.
As for your young daughter, I cannot imagine a worse predicament than leaving this man alone with her overnight. As you well know, the ovens of a bakery produce incredible heat. Those long hours spent sweating together with no one around, the yeasty smell of fresh bread wafting as they salivate at the bounty of baked goods and tins of edibles surrounding them… It’s not hard to imagine a scenario where he strips off his shirt to show your girl a skullbone tattoo on his abdomen, and her reaching out to touch it. Droplets of perspiration will drip from the trinkets on his necklaces, tracing lines in the powdered sugar misted over his chest and maybe he’ll use that sugary proximity to lick a stain of chocolate off her clavicle and she’ll touch that dreadlocked hair of his playfully at first, then grab it like a horseback rider taking the reins… And as the night deepens and the fecund cloud of baking marijuana brownies overtakes them, they will end up on the floor, fouling your greatest hopes and dreams with the raunchiest of hippie-style corporeal indelicacies.
Another great concern is the vacation time he has requested. Why would he even need to travel “out west” when there are so many fabulous country acts right there in Georgia? To me this is the height of selfishness. I’ve never understood this “going on tour” phenomenon. Hippies are like flocks of birds, joining caravans of like-minded vagabonds on months-long migrations. These summer movements quickly become circus orgies of criminal proportions where no sin is lift unexplored. Towns across America close down in fear of such invasions. These children use this whole experience as an excuse to run away from home, leaving behind loving mothers and worried fathers, their schoolwork and the coworkers who depend on them. And for what? So they can gyrate horrifically to out-of-tune musicians in flamboyant costumes, smoking their marijuana bong hits with little impunity. It’s all terrifically irresponsible.
There is a real danger that this nappy-haired heathen will take your daughter away from you when it comes time for his summer hiatus. The hippie is very crafty that way. Your naïve young girl could be enticed by the adventure of it all. Night after night in that sweaty bakery, he’ll goad her with promises of blissful freedom and open skies, LSD experiences and sensual massages. When the day comes, she’ll disappear before dawn and you’ll be left in the August heat wondering what sort of trouble she has gotten herself into now.
The trouble she’s gotten herself into will be very real. They’ll move like grifters from state to state, seeking out unsuspecting minors to push their organic baked goods on. They’ll bathe nude in freshwater streams. They’ll drive at high speeds listening to indecipherable “mix tapes” and when the sun goes down, they’ll share a damp Star Wars sleeping bag in the back of his over-carpeted van. As they press forward to join that western assembly of wicked ambitions, their bonds will grow so strong that she’ll start to believe in the God-like stature he has accorded his favorite rock group. Once committed to the cult of jam band neuroia, she’ll discard her familial morality like one dumps a greasy fast food container in a reststop trashcan.
A Southern girl, particularly a sweet Georgia Peach, is considered a prize in the hippie set. When they finally arrive at the freakish fellowship of his carnal comrades, he’ll pimp her out in parking lots for music tickets and “kind buds.” Her charming small town ways will win them easy friends and maybe even a motel shower. What follows is simply too profane for me to describe here. Suffice it to say that they’ll be spending their nights in concert mosh pits where the most brazen acts of barbarity are proudly displayed. Stimulants and hormonal secretions will flow without shame to the confusing pagan beats of a transvestite drummer and his ginger-haired glutton of a sidekick. The rioting will become so intense that every precious memory of childhood, every hope for the greatness of America, will be desecrated in an earthquake of stomping feet and forlorn primordial screams.
And maybe, if you’re lucky, if you’re very lucky, your girl will return home years from now, dreadlocked and pregnant. She will weep into your arms at the terrible betrayal she has made. A betrayal not just to you, but to her God and her country. I’m literally breathless right now just imagining it all…
In conclusion, I must vociferously state the obvious: Do not hire this man!
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Stephenson Billings
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !
1:26 pm
Nice work. Oregon is right next door and it is probably the most hippie state in the union.
It’s well-known that hippies started the organic food movement. Organic food produces lower yield at a higher cost. This causes starvation and poverty and widens the class gap in our society. Some would say hippies could be considered the greatest threat to humanity in the 21st century.
Hot debate. What do you think?
13 
90
3:45 pm
You are a moron.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
108 
12
6:12 pm
Amen, brother August, Amen.
We can take solace in the fact that the hippie culture has aged to a point that they will die before long and meet their Maker. Hopefully before they suck Social Security dry.
I will pray for you. And will try to find the strength to pray for hippies.
Hot debate. What do you think?
6 
65
8:39 am
You are preying for the hippies? Good – cause I am going to go and smoke some weed with some underage strippers – but you got it covered, right?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
35 
5
9:11 am
Young man (woman?),
I never prey, only pray. And your drug-addled mind is a sickness only Jesus can cure. Repent now, see the light, and fight these evil forces that have consumed you.
And yes, I will pray for you.
Hot debate. What do you think?
3 
33
11:31 am
You just can’t tell if half these people are POES or not because they fit the stereotypical loony christian so well.
Praise or Condemn:
14 
4
3:16 pm
I’m pretty sure your crazed Jesus loving cult clouds and deludes minds far more than any drugs. Learn some facts people.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
1
9:16 pm
I AM a pothead and thanks for stereotyping every hippie. Oh Christians, always sticking your nose in other peoples business.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
1
8:43 am
You are praying for the hippies? Good – cause I am going to go and smoke some weed with some underage strippers – but you got it covered, right?
Praise or Condemn:
18 
2
9:39 pm
I have a feeling that you have no idea how Social Security actually works.
Praise or Condemn:
13 
3
9:54 am
I do know that the less we pay out to aging hippies, the more there will be for good Christian men and women.
I would pray for you, but why bother. I’m tired.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
13
9:13 am
WHY BOTHER? Really? That is a perfect example of why the “church” doesn’t have any business meddling in much of anything anymore… Especially not politics! Great attitude, Rev! Get a real job one that maybe doesn’t make you feel like YOU have such power to judge. That goes for you too Billings. You “christians” (and yes I left it lower-case b/c you act nothing like you say I should) are absolute hypocrites. Fix your house before you start fixing everyone else’s.
Praise or Condemn:
17 
2
6:06 am
There are more good aging hippies in the world than short sighted Christian men and women like yourself reverend, you speak of things which you know nothing about. You claim to be a man of god and yet who is the group doing persecuting; not the hippies, the god fearing Christians.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
1
2:29 pm
I hate to inform you that the “hippie” culture is not dying out. But you “christians” may want to look out. that whole end of the world thing has got ya’ll looking pretty silly.
Praise or Condemn:
14 
2
9:34 pm
Just another hypocritical, judgmental christian. I’m sure God is smiling down on you right now & is so proud to know that you were made in his image. I’ll pray for you brother. I’m sure this prayer will take days.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
3:38 am
Idiot.
Praise or Condemn:
20 
3
4:54 pm
Are you f-ing kidding me, moron? I’m sorry but are you implying hippies are the upper class separating themselves? I bet you jiggle your bosses balls hoping to get a Mercedes. Im from Oregon, and organic food is going down in price due to DEMAND. Take a business class before you talk the talk, you pencil dick looking pseudo-dweeb. Non-organic food most of which contains toxins is driving health care costs through the roof not to mention slowly killing people, talk about class separation. Why don’t you lay off the McD’s drive through and support your local farmers instead of monsanto. God, it is people like you fucking up the human race.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
35 
2
5:09 pm
Organic foods yield per acre is so much less than regular, that to offset the loss of production some farmers are resorting to further slash and burn on other continents to fill the demand. Hope this makes you sleep better at night, your organic veggie just contributed to deforestation and global warming.
Even if it’s “coming down” in price it’s still isn’t able to feed the poor of the world.
Ask starving kids at the food bank whether they want one slice of organic bread or one loaf of regular wheat bread.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
26
9:31 pm
Weiz is correct about overall yield. The only problem is that no one is arguing against this fact. The debate we are ACTUALLY having is about health among ‘first world’ food, local economics, and sustainability. Because of our advanced civilizations, we can afford this luxury.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
10:01 pm
This is Billings article about hippies. I am only responding because hippies appear to be very interested in organic foods (at least when people are watching).
Yield has everything to do with it. A lower yield anywhere means several things:
Food shortages, less surplus means less that can spill over to other countries or other communities. Less food is left to be donated or purchased cheaply for other areas. Even if you are a “grow local” person, we are global community. Some people live in areas where some things simply can’t be grown and others live in an area where a huge surplus may be maintained. Like it or not this is our world.
Prices, lower yield means higher prices. Higher prices hurt the poor more than they hurt the rich. This widens our class structure immensely. The less disposable income the poor or rich have, the more the global economy suffers. You may bea ble to “afford” this “luxury”, but at what cost to the poor and starving?
We must stop hippies before they ruin everything.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
19
12:03 am
August, go watch a few documentaries about what non-organic farming is doing to the soil and the people who eat it. That crap hasn’t been properly tested at all. They barely even try to convincingly lie about that fact.
It’s more than just a little pesticide spraying. They’re shooting weird atoms into seeds and all kinds of nonsense which has already had devastating repercussions. I have seen 4 or 5 documentaries about this now and read a lot about this and other non-natural food processes over the years. The view you offer is the view you’ve been sold by corporate interests who “are only trying to ‘help’ the poor farmers” but who are really squeezing them dry.
The whole GMO set-up is only interested in short-term profit for farmers in an economically untenable situation. Every last one of them, from the scientists who get rich off inventing this crap to the heads of the the chemical companies and junk food companies masquerading as healthy food companies will tell you that GMO is good and is necessary for the future in order to solve world hunger problems. This is pure baloney.
Long-term, this is a no-win way of farming. In a very brief time, we have destroyed soil, sapped food of nutrients, added anti-nutrients and toxins, devastated ecosystems and utterly poisoned the earth, the water and people who happen to need non-toxic, nutrient-rich food to continue living. In the future, we are going to be very unhealthy, if we have any food at all. And the price of ANY food will be sky high. You guys like your Bibles so much, turn to the part where it says a loaf of bread will be a day’s wages. Sure, well, I guess you want that to happen since that means armageddon is coming soon, right? Well, some of us prefer to stay positive and preserve a healthy planet rather than run it into the ground and expect sky father to come and fix it just as the whole thing is about to blow.
If we stay organic, we still have more than enough resources to feed EVERYONE on this planet if we do it the right way. This has been pointed out time and time again by experts, scientists, statisticians, etc. The fact is, our government, which is run by the big business interests I mentioned earlier (and others) don’t have any interest in that because it is not profitable for them. The neocons and the new face of the Democrats, which is basically neocon, too, have a firm believe that progress depends on controlled stress for society. If society is dependent upon government, then everything is under control.
In what way doesn’t our government already have us by the balls? I’d say the final nail in the coffin is being able to completely control whether or not we can gulp some nutrition into our gullets just to survive. People want to continue living and they will pay just about any amount of money to do that. But first, you have to destroy food.
Fortunately, people are waking up and not listening to your kind of nonsensical neocon rhetoric anymore. We have rooftop gardens popping up all over the city now. People are going to grow their own darn food.
But, of course, our government won’t allow anything good and healthy to occur in an economy run on Big Pharmaceuticals, junk food, health insurance and life insurance… that’s why Codex Alimentarius went into effect this year. Now, we have sweeping legislation that makes sure food is “safe” (which means making sure all supplements, seeds and natural food is irradiated and toxified. There will always be sheep like you that farmer Uncle Sam has his way with out in the field, but there will always be wolves in sheep’s clothing. Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome is right around the corner, fellas! It’s all about food and water.
Praise or Condemn:
12 
2
12:06 am
Also… wooooaaaah_fee … gotta live a life that’s completely free!!!! Hello, PT! It’s Party Time!
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
12:09 am
TL;DR
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
11:26 am
Hippie propaganda.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
9
2:28 pm
So by TL;DR, you mean that you just got torn APART textually, and you lack a witty and/or educated response to the former, mirite?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:02 am
You call yourself a Christian and you go around judging people and making accusations about other cultures and life styles? How hateful and wrong!
Praise or Condemn:
21 
2
3:18 pm
RB, your language was a bit intense, but you do make a good point and i totally agree with you. I am reading this website now and I can’t understand – is this a joke? Do people actually believe this stuff? I’m having a cultural shock learning about this community… it’s very sad. I am glad though that we “evil liberals” are becoming the majority and hopefully we can fix the mess and the hatred that arises from communities like this one. I don’t think Jesus would agree with any of this stuff on this website…
Praise or Condemn:
10 
0
2:20 pm
You’re an idiot. any economics course would dictate prices going UP with higher demand. it’s the competitive nature of capitalism. Also, it’s a joke, this entire site is written (IN SATIRE) “in-character” by 2 guys. Chill the fuck out, you’re perpetuating the “ignorant hippie” stereotype by getting all enflamed and trying to make yourself sound intelligent. lol@”pseudo-
dweeb”
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
9:45 pm
The organic movement started long before hippies existed, and was a reaction against the increasing use of pesticides.
I apologize if you are being sarcastic with your posts, but it seems a lot of people on this site need to pick up a different book from time to time.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
3
8:04 pm
Seriously?? I bet this kid just wants a job like any other person, I can imagine that the Bakery pays any better than bakery’s in Illinois. So how can the owner expect a better caliber of applicant. And really You had to fill this lady’s head with every worst case scenario.
You should be ashamed at the level of Wrath you displayed in your vitriolic hate speech. Which the last time i checked was still a deadly sin. Further more you really need to do some research before you pretend to be an informed authority on the “Hippie Lifestyle” Most of your response was complete rubbish. The blatant fear mongering you display is mind-boggling. And I am appalled at your gross misunderstanding of The effects of marijuana. And before you cast me into a SAFE Little box of the enemy you should know I have not personally imbibed the substance in more than ten years. So please When giving advise to people who truly need your advise, Do your homework, and give informed advise, NOT You Obvious ENVY of the carefree hippie lifestyle.”Deadly sin #2.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
2
8:18 pm
I feel confident that this is the very best advice I can offer.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
12
10:39 pm
You just stereotyped the hell out of a whole group of people. Jesus would not approve. If this is the best advice you can offer then please, stop writing advice columns. While it’s possible that this man does fit some of the stereotypes you mentioned, there’s no way he could possibly fit all of them. Most of them aren’t even real stereotypes. You’ve put forth so much misinformation and used so much fear mongering in this article that I’m seriously wondering if it was intended to be really dry sarcasm because I have a hard time imagining that anyone could say these things and be serious. What about loving your neighbor? What about reaching out to the lost? You seem to be condemning this man based on a *very* cursory description, something Jesus most certainly would not do. I gave my email in the appropriate field of this post. Please, email me if you’d like to discuss it further. I would love to discuss it with you.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
1
11:40 pm
Unfortunately the misguided hippies learned much from the gypsies. Invite one hippie into that bakery and there will be fifty more there the next day. Product and money will be going out the back door in wheelbarrow loads.
And a few days later? A fake accident, workmen’s comp, lawsuits, and within 6 months that neighborhood bakery will be another head shop, used record store, or Whole Foods Grocery.
Stand strong in your convictions.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
7
9:43 pm
When the head shop opens, please let me know. I’d rather give them my business anyway.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:06 pm
How about not judging someone on their appearance? Who knows, that boy might be a devout Christian but this poor woman is going to take the absolutely ridiculous line of bs you just fed her and lock her 20 year old in a tower. As far as insisting everything be organic, maybe, maybe not; but using local produce is generally cheaper, fresher, and healthier. Long hair? Did Jesus walk around with a buzz cut and hang out with the wealthy? Not every young man is a lustful attacker. Maybe you should be telling this woman to be gracious and give this boy a chance. What if she is the way God is reaching out to help that “Hippy”- and you just threw God’s help in the trash by berating a person and a lifestyle you know (OBVIOUSLY) nothing about. Way to be terribly close minded. I’m not too lazy. I will pray for ANYONE who needs help or guidance.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:59 am
Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer…oh so you’re a clown…makes sense considering you are basing your advice on what an individual looks like (shame on you clown boy, shame on you) GA Peach mentioned he had great ideas for snacks…I think she woulda mentioned drug infused snacks if that was the case. the young man is more than qualified for the job, it’s the overnight shift where “good Christian folk” won’t even be dealing with the individual. and your Harleqiun (sp?)romance novel depiction kind of makes me wonder if I’d hire you for doing anything with children…let alone a yyoung woman.
Georgia, give the guy a shot and be a parent to your child and talk with her regarding your hesitance of having a young man with her at work and hear her side before making any judgements such as clown boy! not very Christian advise he’s spouting.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
1:47 pm
“Those long hours spent sweating together with no one around, the yeasty smell of fresh bread wafting as they salivate at the bounty of baked goods and tins of edibles surrounding them… It’s not hard to imagine a scenario where he strips off his shirt to show your girl a skullbone tattoo on his abdomen, and her reaching out to touch it. Droplets of perspiration will drip from the trinkets on his necklaces, tracing lines in the powdered sugar misted over his chest and maybe he’ll use that sugary proximity to lick a stain of chocolate off her clavicle and she’ll touch that dreadlocked hair of his playfully at first, then grab it like a horseback rider taking the reins… And as the night deepens and the fecund cloud of baking marijuana brownies overtakes them, they will end up on the floor, fouling your greatest hopes and dreams with the raunchiest of hippie-style corporeal indelicacies.”
Wow…usually these erotic writings of yours focus on two males.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
62 
3
3:47 pm
I like your comments, this site is hilarious!
Praise or Condemn:
14 
1
8:14 pm
Is this guy for real…by that I mean this “Stephenson” guy.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
1
8:30 pm
Please don’t take the Lord’s name in vain.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
21
4:40 am
God dammit Stephenson. I didn’t know you were the Lord?! And all this time I was thinking he was just some mystical [non-existent] being used to brainwash weak, vulnerable and gullible people into giving money to the Church every Sunday. Wow, I am enlightened.
Praise or Condemn:
15 
2
6:01 am
You have obviously misread this article. Mr. Billings never claimed to be God, he only claimed to love God. Please read the articles here fully before trying to argue with the Holy authors.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
11
5:21 pm
Ya Stephenson..That shit was sexy.. Im gonna read that aloud at the orgy tonight.
Praise or Condemn:
12 
1
6:46 pm
All I can express is that your a judgmental asshole mr. stephens and maybe you should reconsider the whole forgive and forget mentality that you christians claim to preach. Your full of shit. I smoke weed every day get up go to work bust my ass and come home and listen to music just like any other hippy. What I like to do in my spare time has nothing to do with what I do at work. You sir should take your bullshit hipocritical christian mentality about hippies and stick it right up your ass. Fuck YOUR god
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
6:49 pm
I want to love you, I truly do. Why won’t you let me love you like I should?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
5
9:47 pm
Seems like every time you say it you have no idea about the love that’s behind it. Please don’t degrade your fellow man and brother in the Lord. Especially based on his hair, clothing, and good snack ideas. We are ALL made in God’s image.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:14 am
Claire, We are married now, and I would like it if you stopped flirting with Stephenson. I know he is attractive, but we are involved in a holy union now. Please stop “oogling” him. I don’t like you “oogling” other men.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
8:23 pm
You didn’t know that Stephenson can see the future? He’s known specifically for his insight of any possible occurrence that could ever happen.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:50 pm
quick answer?
NO!!!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
10
2:45 am
long answer: Hahahahahahahaha. No. Just joking, looks like an ok fella to me.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
2:59 am
Short answer: You are a Heathen Homogay
Praise or Condemn:
1 
7
3:21 pm
i think you meant “homo-gay”. there’s a hyphen… i think you have to go to Hell now…
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
1:58 pm
The health concerns are my biggest gripe! Have you ever smelled a nappy hippie’s dreadlock? The reason they get that way is because they religiously do NOT wash their hair. The dreads poke through the hairnet and can you imagine getting one of those in your whole wheat blueberry muffin? I think not! Cleanliness is next to Godliness for chrissakes! I will not stand for any dirty hippie to be anywhere near my yeasty confections. And thank you A.W. for opening my eyes to more perils of the evil hippie culture. I knew that bastion of hippiedom Austin, Texas was the birthplace of Whole Foods and everyone knows that nobody can afford to shop there. I will avoid Portland at all costs, too.
Hot debate. What do you think?
8 
22
11:05 pm
” religiously do NOT wash their hair” hahahaha wow. First of all, that is a lie you still wash you hair when you have dreads. This awful person ‘stephenson’ pathetic, your entire post is just some sick fantasy of yours. I honestly can’t believe anyone would listen to such a horrible sad person, I couldn’t help but laugh at all your HUGE generalizations and made up stories.
”When they finally arrive at the freakish fellowship of his carnal comrades, he’ll pimp her out in parking lots for music tickets and “kind buds.” hahaha! No. Stephenson, that would be a pimp. Hippies, are not pimps. Obviously. And what is wrong with traveling, is your life really so sad that you never leave your town? That you see something wrong with going to a concert out of town? Giving notice even before he got highered? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s professional, to let your would be employer know when you will not be around, ahead of time, which he did.
That you think just because he’s a hippy he will try to change her bakery, how she runs her business, what she buys and she will be on the brink of bankruptcy is so wrong. What employe has any control over that? Nothing is wrong with organic food, not all hippies eat organic food, and the business owner has control. And not all hippies smoke weed! And NOTHING is wrong with marijuana, it helps people. You are being a hypocrite hah, you say you believe in god? ”all seed bearing plants I give to you” It’s funny you pick and choose what you believe.
Haha wow. Just wow, everything you said Is just wrong, if there was a god, he/she would be disgusted by your words and actions. You would burn in hell with your sad view of other people haha.
‘I’m literally breathless right now just imagining it all…’ I’m sure you are you sick man, and I LOVE that even you said it was all in your mind. Your closed off judgmental little mind.
PS: how about that rapture! Hahaha oh, my god.
Praise or Condemn:
17 
1
11:25 pm
Spoken like a true hippie. You should be ashamed of yourself! I used to love freedom and my long shiny hair, until my step father forced me to join the army and now I love American and God.
You should think about it while you’re drinking your Ayahuasca tea and grooving to the Monkeys.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
19
10:58 am
Don’t know if you are a POE or not…
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
8:25 pm
“Cleanliness is next to Godliness for chrissakes!” AND BLASPHEMY IS A SIN.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
3:38 pm
How does dropping bombs “bring love and righteousness to the Middle East” ?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
27 
2
8:26 pm
If you have to ask yellow devil, you wouldn’t understand.
By the way, do you know where I can score some Mets tickets cheap?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
6
4:49 pm
I when one decides to hire a hippie it needs to be for specific tasks and jobs that are aligned with the hippie culture and lifestyle.
Jobs like human labrat, fruit stand flyswatter, and stamp licker are all great career choices.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
19
11:02 am
All this from a loving “Christian.”
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
5:53 pm
Shame on those who judge their fellow man…
Remember: Matthew 7:1 or James 4:12
Some of the things said on this site are the reasons i will not promote or recommend it to my congregation.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
36 
5
7:35 pm
Wow this makes me smile that we’re not doomed to having a bunch of ignorant christians running around because there still is some humanity in the world like this man who has learned to do like jesus and not pass judgment on your fellow man…
Praise or Condemn:
21 
1
8:06 pm
Hiring someone because they will not be the right fit for your business is not the same thing as discrimination. So you’re “judgement” fallacy has no merit.
“Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.” –James 5:20.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
18
9:57 pm
Hey Steph, is it okay if I call you “Steph?” No? Oh well..
Anyway Steph, I think it’s really sad that you have to base your entire view of “Hippies” on probably the one or two “Drainbow’s” you’ve so far encountered. You should never judge a book by it’s cover. The Bible looks pretty damn boring on the outside, but it’s FULL of excitement and mysterious happenings.
–”Many of these types wear sandals. You should be aware that this is inappropriate footwear for a cooking environment and would likely get you a hefty fine from your state health department.”– There you go judging again… Georgia Peach Cobbler said nothing about this man wearing sandals. And, Hippie or not, if some qualified person went into an establishment to get a job, they probably know the appropriate footwear for whatever working position they’re applying for. Not to mention that it is the employer’s duty to inform the worker of what type of shoes are acceptable.
–”There is also a chance this man could be secretly trying to use your business to gain access to ample supplies of yeast and flour. Working at night unsupervised, he could quickly turn your bakery into a clandestine “Magic Brownie” lab. Much like meth labs, these types of illegal bakeries are incredibly dangerous.”– <-THIS IS JUST RIDICULOUS. Paranoid much? If I were going to make some dank brownies, I sure as fuck wouldn't be cooking them at work. And furthermore, there are so many other kinds of treats you can make other than baked goods that have weed in them. DIDN'T OUR CREATOR GIFT US WITH THIS PLANT?
Before you go comparing cooking pot brownies to cooking meth, maybe you should think about the little old lady that lives down the street with cataracts and cancer that can't eat anything because of chemo.. Who has to eat marijuana to ease her pain, help her eat, and calm her down. Ugh!
–"Droplets of perspiration will drip from the trinkets on his necklaces, tracing lines in the powdered sugar misted over his chest and maybe he’ll use that sugary proximity to lick a stain of chocolate off her clavicle and she’ll touch that dreadlocked hair of his playfully at first, then grab it like a horseback rider taking the reins…"– This is making me wet. HA HA HA HA HA! Just kidding. But maybe I should make a softcore porno and give you the writing credit. You sure do have a vivid imagination……………. .. .
I can't believe you are telling this Georgia Peach Cobbler that their daughter will be swept away by this man. And if he got the job, and all that sexy shit happened, and festival season came around, and this 20 year old WOMAN decided she wanted to go and see some of the world, THEN IT'S HER FUCKING DECISION!!!
And the fact that he told his possible future employer that he would be taking that time off WAY in advance in the first place, shows respect to his boss. Don't most jobs require you to ask for time off at least two weeks beforehand? Two months is more than enough time to request time off. Communication is key.
–"The trouble she’s gotten herself into will be very real. They’ll move like grifters from state to state, seeking out unsuspecting minors to push their organic baked goods on. They’ll bathe nude in freshwater streams. They’ll drive at high speeds listening to indecipherable “mix tapes” and when the sun goes down, they’ll share a damp Star Wars sleeping bag in the back of his over-carpeted van. As they press forward to join that western assembly of wicked ambitions, their bonds will grow so strong that she’ll start to believe in the God-like stature he has accorded his favorite rock group."– The fact is, THIS HASN'T ACTUALLY HAPPENED. You are trying to plant a weed in this person's head that their daughter is ill willed and is going to just jump on the next man she sees when you know nothing about these people, really. How do you know that this woman would just lie down and let any man –"pimp her out in parking lots for music tickets and 'kind buds.'"– or that she'd –"return home years from now, dreadlocked and pregnant."–
So, in conclusion Steph, you're wrong, nigga dead wrong, you know tha song….
P.S. I dare you to look into a mirror, into your own eyes. For real… How long will you last when face to face with yourself?
P.S.S. AND TO ALL YOU FOOLS THAT WANNA TALK SHIT ON OREGON. YOU BETTER THINK AGAIN!
Praise or Condemn:
7 
1
10:05 pm
Obviously written by a crystal hugging Oregonian.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
4
10:19 pm
I’m using crystals to type right now.*
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
5:57 pm
Is this site a joke? You people are freaking scary and so ignorant its unbelievable.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
30 
3
11:07 am
Such is the power of religion on the ignorant.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
7:29 pm
I masturbated twice while reading this article and got off quite easily. Nice erotic story! I was a little put off by the “christwire” site name, but you must be making some point about Christ having had erotic relations with Mary Magdalen. Nice work! Keep these hot sweaty guilty pleasures coming!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
30 
2
8:13 pm
YES!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
3
8:28 pm
You will be sent to hell, with hairy palms so all will know of your sins.
By the way, do you know any good stock tips? My investment portfolio is tanking!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
2:36 am
You’re an evil man to speak of such acts between Our Savior and a nympho slut whore.
Next you’ll be making Satan smile as you describe sweaty passionate fornication and oral pleasures that you wished would have occurred between Jesu and the slut-whore.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
8:13 pm
wow, this site is the most judgmental and least christian invention ever. the way you see people and twist the bibles words is disgusting. you shouldnt dare call yourself christians. take the plank out of your eye.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
3
8:14 pm
jesus was a hippie.
Hot debate. What do you think?
27 
3
8:26 pm
Absolutely wrong. He didn’t abuse drugs and hang out in parking lots whistling at girls. He didn’t waste all his money going to foul music shows, abandoning his parents. He didn’t hit up the gov’t for welfare checks. He didn’t fall prey to persistent self-gratification. Most of all, he was not as self-righteous and self-important as your people can be.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
17
8:28 pm
In my haste, I woefully forgot to capitalize my His’s and He’s. I sincerely apologize to everyone for that. God bless.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
12
11:45 pm
He also didn’t approve of the violence and war today’s fundamentalist seem to love so much. You are generalizing a huge group of people. Some may sit around and smoke pot all day, but most that I know are hard working Americans that believe in peace, love, acceptance, and helping the poor.
I don’t think Jesus would of had a problem with that.
Praise or Condemn:
12 
2
11:09 am
You know you are right Stephenson! Jesus didn’t do all those things because he was invented. The guy doesn’t even exist.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
12:09 pm
Welfare checks didn’t exist, he wore sandals, didn’t have money to spend on concerts, parking lots were stables/ manger’s (yikes), he exclusively preached self gratification through extending love to other humans including the most lowly lot. And I think he considered himself pretty important.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
0
1:56 pm
Self gratification means masturbation, Joanna.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
7
2:08 pm
We all know that spilling the seed of Onan is one of those Jewish things from the Old Testament, but as it’s in the Bible I tend to think we should continue to punish those who practice it with death, much as we’ve chosen to retain the Draconian punishments for homoqueers. Death sentences will do much to bring our society back together UNDER ONE GOD while also solving so many over-population problems.
I’ll pray for you.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
11
11:32 pm
Correcting her, why? She made a valid point and you could understand what she meant by it. Such a petty thing to do, Mr. Billings. Shame on you.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
5:15 pm
I like how Stephenson is the only one who likes his own comments.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
1
7:36 pm
I apologize. I misinterpretted self-gratification. Jesus totally masturbated. He was part (hu)man.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
1
11:29 pm
Yea, right, next think you’ll be saying is that he was Jewish also!
Harlot!
Praise or Condemn:
9 
2
8:21 pm
lol this site makes me laugh
Praise or Condemn:
13 
0
8:42 pm
hahahhaha this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. This guy is so dumb and never thought I’d find this hawt softcore erotica on christwire. I think that you should hire him so that they do have sex and once they do and find out that your daughter isn’t a virgin, then everyone can join in and kill her.
“But if … evidences of virginity are not found for the young woman, then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones…” (Deuteronomy 22:20,21)
Praise or Condemn:
14 
0
9:43 pm
Oh yes this is all quite possible along with the multitude of other possibilities. Including half where the outcome is a wonderful worker who brings you more money with his idea/collaborations. Snaps for you Stephenson for being a negative and bitter man.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
1
10:22 pm
I love this site, I read it whenever I’m in a bad mood and always go away with a smile on my face.
jk I smoke the reefer! haha
Praise or Condemn:
10 
0
11:09 pm
Wow…what a xxxxing joke! I still haven’t decided if this site is a parody or not. If not, I can’t believe people like this still exist.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
1
11:19 pm
Your God is Dead morons
Praise or Condemn:
3 
3
1:52 am
Sir, never before in my life have I seen a more ignorant person.
Being a god believing Christian, I find no reason to hold prejudice against anyone because of their skin colour, ideologic preferences, sexual preferences and ideals. Im my opinion, you are degrading one of the fundamental points of Christianity – to not hold a grudge or prejudice.
Secondly, sir, your “scientific” information has no real basis. Your comment on how marijuana baked goods are like LSD and hallucinogens has no scientific basis at ALL. I could continue with other points, but I trust in readers to find them on their own, they are quite obvious.
You sir, are what I consider the only things holding everyone back on this planet.
Praise or Condemn:
13 
1
1:56 am
GOD HATES HIPPIES
There is no way this man can be trusted, he will rape your daughter the first chance he gets.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
8
10:25 am
Then hopefully your daughter has “spare tire” insurance if she lives in Kansas.
I will pray for you.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
4
10:01 pm
Don’t bother praying for me. My God and your god are obviously not the same. “Father, forgive them. For they know not what they do.” I believe Jesus said this as he was hanging on a cross and dying for our sins. Now that’s a true Christian.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:16 am
Isnt god suppose to LOVE everyone no matter what??? oveausly someone hasnt been reading thier bible
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
3:31 am
u mad bro?
Just ’cause you didn’t get picked up in the rapture doesn’t mean you have to hate. Also, just FYI, I’m pretty sure the “hippie” movement died out in the late 60s-70s. And if anything, hippies are not pimps and they will not pimp out said daughter.
You should also know that those of us from the West do NOT find small town girls charming. We find them annoying, spoiled, and dumb. There’s a reason no one made a song called “Southern Girls.”
Praise or Condemn:
11 
1
5:16 pm
amen
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
9:47 am
Actually, there are many songs titled “Southern Girls”. Please do more research before commenting on articles here, as Christwire Authors always do massive, in-depth research for their articles. The least you could do is reciprocate.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
10:03 pm
By “massive, in-depth research for their articles” you must mean that the author here laid some hot young girl down in a bakery while making pot-brownies, dripping sweat all over, wearing sandals with the stench of dirty dreadlocks lingering in the air. Damn hippy.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:46 am
What utterly stereotypical and offensive rubbish this is. You preach on about love and righteousness, and yet you are telling “GBC” to not hire this man based on an ASSUMPTION! How do you know he’s a hippie?! Because he SOUNDS like he MIGHT have hair like one? So what?! Is everyone with dreadlocks black? No, they are not.
Once you’ve made your assumption you then go on to completely generalise all hippies based on your PREJUDICES. Do you personally know this individual? Were you perhaps molested as a child by a raging hippie?
As a resident of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, I am so very glad that people here have a pinch more common sense than to take on board the belittling and nonsensical ramblings of a man who clearly is so blinded by his own agenda you lose all perspective and context. What you have told GBC to do is effectively judge a man by his appearance, which is no worse than racism. Hair style, skin colour, what’s the difference? You are a bigot, and your advice stinks worse than a wet dog.
Praise or Condemn:
11 
1
6:09 am
TheEnglish, I find your comment to be very racist.
“Because he SOUNDS like he MIGHT have hair like one? So what?! Is everyone with dreadlocks black?”
I do not appreciate this kind of talk, as a Christian. Please use a less racist way to communicate from now on.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
11
11:12 am
Try harder troll.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
1
6:46 am
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
1:59 pm
You need to read this:
The Confusion Between Judging and Bold Rebuking, Warning or Correction
http://www.truechristianity.com/christian/judgement.htm
Praise or Condemn:
2 
5
3:03 pm
You’re telling people that they’re going to hell for the things they do. That’s not ‘correction’ or ‘bold rebuking’, that’s judging. Congratulations, you’re still a hypocrite.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
2
3:16 pm
I have never said that phrase to anyone. I have tried to send them down the right path, but I have told someone conclusively that they were doomed to Satan’s grasp. You’re just clueless, young lady. You’re new here and I forgive you your impertinence but please try to be more considerate in the future.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
7
3:23 pm
I’m not asking for your apology when you’re wrong and a fool. You try to mask your total want of dominance with ‘love’ and ‘kindness’. You judge people for the simplest of things, and make complete and total baseless accusations. For instance, what possessed you to think I was a woman? How do you know my age? How do you even know I’m ‘new’, I could’ve been browsing the site for several months before I decided to make any actual comments? What does being new to a site have anything to do with the topic at hand?
This are questions I know you won’t answer, because you’re too afraid to know the truth. You assume simply because you do, and you somehow think that you’re right because of it.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
4:13 pm
“I have told someone conclusively that they were doomed to Satan’s grasp.” that was a typo. Should have read, “I have NEVER told someone conclusively that they were doomed to Satan’s grasp.”
Praise or Condemn:
2 
5
4:29 pm
So are you going to completely ignore the rest of my post because you made a typo?
Praise or Condemn:
4 
2
4:32 pm
LN, please feel free to introduce yourself and fill us in on what your life is like. We’d be happy to hear from you! And welcome, by the way!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
5
4:44 pm
Hey asshole, I’m wanting answers from you!
What, are you nothing but a yellow-bellied coward?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
4:48 pm
Typical LN. Always throwing rocks from behind a bush.
She
Praise or Condemn:
1 
8
4:49 pm
She’s never answered any questions herself. Only asks and asks and asks.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
5
5:26 pm
hey you are the ones claiming to have the answeres then going hideing when the question get’s too hard.
L.N. never replied to your questions because you have never asked question for any other reason than in a pathetic atempt to tuen our atention away from the fact that you got shit to say for yourself.
common sense asumes you are wrong thus we have won the discusion by deafualt unless you man up and start discusing.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
6:02 pm
Jazze, we really don’t need this sort of language here. I was simply offering an olive branch to this young lady and she got bit emotional on me. Why are you freaking out?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
6:17 pm
August, shut the hell up. I answer my questions, but Billings here never does. And you know damn well that I’m a guy, so stop this ‘she’ business you idiot.
Billings, I told you that I’m a guy, but you persist in calling me a woman. Not only that, I’m asking questions and you’re not answering, and you completely avoid the subject matter at all costs. Stop being a coward and answer my questions.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
8:28 am
Nice, I like the way you have manipulated my sentence to make it sound racist by missing out the caveat that actually makes it non-racist. Like I stated, not everyone who has dreadlocks is black, and to suggest to the contrary is in fact racist itself.
So, you don’t appreciate word that you have willingly misinterpreted, but you’re more than happy with this ridiculous stereotyping of everyone with their hair in a knot being a hippie and therefore raping women and eating hash cakes? Somehow I’m not surprised. Tell me, as a Christian, do rape victims bring such a horrific crime upon themselves?
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
8:29 am
The above comment was in reply to Bruce Danus, by the way, not the article in general.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
2:08 pm
Hi, I’m not sure why you have come to our web site to post all these angry comments, but please remember that you can always be forgiven for your sins. God loves you, and that is an incredible gift. Jesus died for YOUR sins, so that you may find redemption. There is still time for you to begin a personal, loving relationship with your Lord and Savior.
And I’m sorry to hear about your habits and all, but think of the harm you’re doing to your family and friends with your drug abuse. I realize it’s hard, but you must have strength to pull through.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” –Deuteronomy 31:6
Praise or Condemn:
2 
5
3:00 pm
“Jesus died for YOUR sins, so that you may find redemption. ”
He died for OUR sins, you are NOT perfect.
And what part did he mention about having drug abuse problems or whatever? You’re, once again, making up things in light of actual fact.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
2
3:47 am
I’m sorry…my habits? What habits are you speaking of? Did I mention any habits? Oh right yes, you assume – as you so enjoy doing – that because I’m saying you should have a less judgemental view of people with long hair that I must also have long hair and therefore be a hippie who smokes dope and rapes bakers’ daughters! Sorry, how silly of me.
I realise it’s hard for you to understand, but I prefer to be able to either see, hear, smell, feel or even taste something, so that I know it exists, before engaging in a loving relationship with it.
There’s one thing that bothers me though – if god (deliberately lower case – what’s going to happen, am I going to be smoten? C’mon, give it your best shot!!!) created the Sun on the 4th day, how did he manage to have light on the first? Did he create the Sun because he ran out of batteries for his torch or something?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
9:53 am
this website is freaking hilarious!! It is a joke isn’t it???
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
10:05 am
Stephenson certainly is
Praise or Condemn:
8 
3
10:14 am
I hate hippies, too; Christians! Way to go bible belters, I have been thinking that me and my circle of the black lotus were on our own in the matter. It is refreshing to see such contrasting groups come to the same conclusion about this eyesore of a societal group. I think my type and your type may have more in common than we thought! Raptus regaliter!!!!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
5
10:30 am
This is what is wrong with America. Ignorance is a horrible thing that affects all of us. People are afraid of others who are not like them. Its sad how much a person can discriminate and judge someone and then quote lines from the bible. It really show how much of a hypocrite he is. If you taught your daughter right and did not just shelter her from everything like Stephenson would have done she will make the right decision.
You guys should watch this.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xbvr0m_the-intelligence-debate-stephen-fr_shortfilms < talks about people like him
Also, people booed Bill Nye the science guy in Wako Texas because he said the moon reflects the sun which is a scientific fact just because it refutes the bible Genesis 1:16, which reads: "God made two great lights — the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars,"
I have met some very successful hippies and very unsuccessful hippies just like i have met "good god fearing people" who are ON WELFARE AS WELL.
STOP breeding hate. You can eat your McDonalds hamburgers and let people who want eat fresh and healthy food. You know absolutely nothing about science so you cant talk. You are just an old man and one day you and your generation will die and this hate will hopefully go away.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
6:33 pm
Well said, Adi.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
2
4:16 am
Couldn’t have put it better myself!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
6:03 pm
“You know absolutely nothing about science so you cant talk.”
Adi…there is an entire section of meticulously researched articles under the science banner at the top of this web site. You should feel free to read a few of them and educate yourself to scientific reality.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
10:37 am
Wow. Just wow. Looking over this “advice” I kept thinking that this sounded remarkably familiar… where had I read things like this before? OH YES, it reminded me of the “articles” written about African-Americans during the civil rights movement.
I’m glad to see the Ignorance that gave rise to the racist backlash against the civil rights movement is still alive and well and finding new targets for it’s unreasoning hatred of anything even slightly different.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
12:35 pm
God damn, saw this link on Facebook expecting hilarious Christian wackiness, and got softcore porn instead.
Neil,
Have you considered professional help? Your hatred for anyone who doesn’t conform to your religious views, mixed with your unhealthy views on sex and women are very scary to contemplate. If not professional help, then possibly furthering your education to bring you up to date with the 21st century? You have choices other than living in a world of fear, hate and prejudice.
As an atheist hippy from Eugene, Oregon, I can honestly say I’ve never come close to some of the disgusting hate filled thoughts that you yourself have had in just this one post. But then again, my mother raised me to accept and respect my fellow man for what they are, instead of rejecting them because their hair or theological beliefs.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
2
2:01 pm
Who is Neil?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
3
7:04 pm
The little kid that you have in your closet that you rape.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
2:03 pm
Nice advice there. It is obvious that you have never known first-hand any “hippies” and are simply going by brash stereo-types of the severely out-dated 60′s and 70′s version. I believe you are confusing “hippie” with “wookie” or sometimes known as “wooks”. This variety of hippie, much like the far-right ultra-conservative christian variety like yourself, is at the extreme end of the free-spirit/ hippie spectrum, and by the way, wooks would not ever apply for a job in a mainstream business like a bakery.
BTW- I think that your practice of eating grocery store genetically engineered produce tainted with pesticides and herbicides and imported from Chile is finally affecting your thought processes. And of course there are lower yields because the yields produced now are due to human tampering with the life cycle of fruits and vegetables- way to mess with the way God created things.
I could go on and on, but your mind is so far closed to any ideas that don’t already exist in that tiny space that is your brain that it would be no doubt falling on deaf ears. And I consider myself a christian and am masters educated as well for the record.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
1
2:11 pm
I am an Investigative Journalist who has written extensively on the revival of this hippie trend as well on the danger of certain music groups like The Phish, so please don’t try to act so very superior when you clearly have no clue what you’re talking about. Good day, M’am.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
12
2:55 pm
You’re an old fool who thinks he knows how the world works from the bottom of his mother’s basement.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
3
5:53 pm
Where are your references on this topic on which you claim to be an expert?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
6:04 pm
This article should be helpful to you if you’re interested in learning more about this topic:
Why Do Hippies Still Exist in America?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
6:30 pm
You’ve yet to provide proof that you’re an “Investigative Journalist”.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
6:37 pm
Claire, stop instigating these kids. You are such a bad influence on the young people here. Always causing trouble, always kicking the old man in the shins when he’s down. I would hope you’re be changing your ways now that you’re older. Summer is coming up and you’ll be off from school. I pray you put that free time to good use. Do you want a journalism internship?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
6:43 pm
“Always causing trouble, always kicking the old man in the shins when he’s down.”
Ah, here we go again! “Waaaaa, Claire’s being mean to me! Waaaaaaa!”
“Summer is coming up and you’ll be off from school.”
I’ve been off from school since May 16th.
“I pray you put that free time to good use. Do you want a journalism internship?”
First of all, I just got a job at a veterinary practice. Second, why would a vet tech student want an internship in journalism?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
6:45 pm
Oh, and thanks for yet again completely ignoring my mention of your imaginary credentials.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
6:46 pm
You have some very lovely typing skills, Claire, and your spelling is always pretty good. Have you thought about secretary school?
It would give you a chance to work with a strong male figure in your life.
I’ll pray for you.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
1
10:01 am
If you were such an expert, you would know the name of the band is Phish, not THE Phish!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
2:13 pm
Let me guess. Stanford? or Oberlin? Those are the only two colleges I can think of off the top of my head that serve pot brownies at the cafeteria.
I will pray for you.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
7
3:14 pm
Wow, are you people for real or is that a comedy bit i just read, because that is the most absurd bunch of horseshit i have ever laid ears on. We start the story with a Bakery Owner with an irrational fear of things outside her scope of interst and understanding, and somehow you jump to the conclusion that this man is going to hug and grope her? You people need to wake the fuck up and look around you and open your closed and very small minds. This article slanders a group of people based on incorrect stereo-types and pure ignorance, that man had all the right qualifications and seemed genuine and nice. And you condemn him and practically call him a rapist. if there is a hell ill see you there, you evil judgemental people.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
4:21 pm
Is this for real? There surely can’t be people that are this braindead
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
11:04 pm
Fear and ignorance…you’re ripe with it. Jesus is about love and truth. Your ignorant and generalizing opinions are laughable. People like you give good Christians a bad name.
Simply put, you haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about. I’ll pray for you though.
Now excuse me while I take my ball sack out of my boyfriend’s mouth…
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
11:24 pm
So many stereotypes of “hippies”. Ever stop to wonder if God would hire a “nappy-haired” man? Consider what the Jesus looked like… Perhaps this kind, innovative man is a decent human being who enjoys the beauty of music and healthy food.
Remember that you get what you pay for. If you spend more on quality food, eventually others will catch on and the prices won’t be so painful.
Please, don’t be too quick to judge. And practice what you preach.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
11:42 pm
Isn’t a working hippie an oxymoron? Not only are the majority of them spoiled by their liberal trust fund parents, but the other set is 100% socialist and believes only in handouts.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
12:00 am
This guy has already banged your daughter, fact, and she did grab the dreads like they were antlers an she was riding a reindeer.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
12:07 am
Mr. Billings,
With all due respect your truly deluded.
You site Regan and Bush as good leaders that brought “battles to bring love and righteousness to the Middle East. They fought against the blossoming of our economy and have refused to take a patriotic role in homeland consumerism.” Are you serious? Have you seen are economy lately? How many people have the Unites States killed in these wars? your opinions based on these two men are seriously uninformed and borderline psychotic. It’s a real shame that you have been brainwashed into this line of thinking. I have a serious relationship with God and I’m a hippie (for lack of a better term) Your narrow view of this person is exactly the thing that Jesus himself warned us against. If he was here he would tell you to your face, man your some kind of sinner. I feel so sad for you and pray to Jesus that you get your mind right. Your writing though eloquent, is full of half truths and pseudo facts. If you worked for a newspaper like let’s say the New York Times, you would be being sued right now for gross character defamation and slander. My advice to you is to quit your job and repent now. you one confused individual…I feel so sad for you, so sad.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
12:13 am
you “christians” are terrifying! keep your fascist morality preaching away from my innocent children please!
i really cannot believe this article is not a joke but seeing as how there are apparently grown men defending this sort of lunacy i guess it isn’t.
thumbs up if you think bible thumping fundamentalist freaks (not phreaks) are the 1# threat to America…
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
2:08 am
I am thankful that my employers were more open-minded than Mr. Billings when I interviewed for my job; and I’m pretty sure they are all thankful of that as well!
I would say I dress alternatively, and have my nose pierced and a tattoo and wear thick-rimmed glasses. However, the way I choose to dress or style myself has nothing to do with my morality or my work ethic!! I would actually think I have a fantastic work ethic and am a great asset to my employers. I fill in shifts when others call off, I stay late if needed until the job is done, I am responsible and come in on time and don’t call off unless I am sick enough to go to the doctor, I don’t do drugs at work (because I don’t do drugs!), and while I try to eat organic for myself – I don’t expect my company to follow my personal eating habits. Added on to a sometimes 50 hour work week, I am also a full time college student studying economics.
People often assume things about me that aren’t correct, most of the time it’s just silly stuff like that I’m a vegetarian, or that I’m an art major, or that I’m smart just because I have glasses; but I am appaled at the idea that someone would think that I (or anyone else with an alternative style) was an evil person just because of the way we choose to dress or wear our hair!
I am thankful for the people around me who look past my appearances to the good person inside!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:41 am
“I would say I dress alternatively, and have my nose pierced and a tattoo and wear thick-rimmed glasses”.
Admitting you are a lesbian is the first step to recovery. Great work!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
6:24 am
For those of you freaking out, ever heard of “The Onion”? Same type of website. Seriously people, how gullible can you be? (Evidently very)
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
9:01 am
I really, really hope it is, but it’s not a stretch of the mind to believe a fundamentalist would actually write this, and even if it is a joke, some fundamentalists are gonna take this seriously and be cheering him on.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
8:56 am
I am literally crying at your stupidity, what hope does this world have when people like you are spouting ill-informed bullshit. Way to love your fellow man. I love how you actually endorse slavery.
By the by, you’d make a fantastic erotic fiction writer.
Yours truly,
A person who is not a dumbarse
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
10:30 am
FUCK YOU
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
1:00 pm
What a bunch of cunts. I got off so hard to the idea of a hippie eating your daughter’s anal cavity though. Thanks.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
12:42 am
Okay, suspend your imagination for just a bit and imagine if the guy you just completely degraded as a human being was in fact Jesus returning (yes, he is a Phish fan). Nothing fancy like the bible says, maybe he just popped up in Georgia and is looking to get his feet on the ground before he calls everyone on home.
It’s about as right as everyone else’s opinion on this site because you all are trying to shove your beliefs down everyone’s throat. (possible erotic hippie sequel?)
Panpsychism for the win.
If you refute this comment, you are agreeing that you are wrong.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
4:11 am
Are you on drugs?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
2:50 pm
yes
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
1:49 am
yes, but not to the point where I live my life out twisting the words of a religious text to insult and criticize the views of others. Whoever does that needs the rehab, all I do is get high and read this comical shit.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
8:10 am
Billings’ is right. Phish sucks.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
2:49 pm
That is a pretty sweet picture of Red Rocks! That’s my church.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
12:45 am
Totes got off to that erotic story of a hippie fucking an innocent Christian girl in a bakery. Probably gonna be the plot for my next porno that I direct. Keep a look out!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
4:30 pm
haha
I fell for this at first. Good one guys. lol
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
3:04 am
WOW for a “christian” your a very hateful human.As someone who personally lives this way of life i am so hurt on how you feel about us “hippies” you call us.But i dont do drugs i dont even drink but i do go to festivals and run around naked and dance around the drum circles its fun and the people that iv met there are the most amazing and loving people you would ever meet.And you would be ver suprised on how many of them are christians just like you!! Im also a mother and im so happy to raise my child my way of life and the thousands that also live like this because i know atleast he wont grow up being a hateful assholes like you people are.You should live our lives first befor talking down on us and making us look horrible.You people arent christians your brainwashing money hungry nazis.I hope you change your ways of thinking and just love cuz thats all you need.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
1:18 pm
Hello Stephenson! Think about a moment how your advice could affect the questioner and especially her daughter. In hungarian we have a saying: don’t draw Satan on the wall. If you write all these negative scenarios down it is much more likely that they will happen. You don’t have to fight against something but for something.
Btw Jesus used hemp oil in his balms and it contained THC. Btw there are increasing number of researches that for example hallucinogen mushrooms gave the most important RELIGIOUS experiences to their first time users (age 30-50). I don’t understand why you are speaking of love, forgiveness but you show very low amount of openness and acceptance of others. I can assure you that Jesus was not a person like this. If you never met a hippie who was spiritual developed and didn’t live a parasite lifestyle then that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. You are not a 15 year old teenager so I am wondering how could you live a life with such narrow mindedness for so long? I am pretty sure that you will continue with this sort of “advice” giving and I am pretty sure you think that you are absolutely right and you won’t change a bit in the next 5-10 years. Now that’s very sad and if you belive in Heaven then why do you think they will let you in, if they knew about your hatefull ignorance and that you can only accept people who are like yourself. And that you write this line a lot: “I will pray for you” but instead of truely praying you just use this sentence to show your ego’s non existent gratefulness and forgiveness. I am very sad that you think you are on the right way and all others who are different are on the wrong way. I won’t pray for you because if you don’t want to change your views they won’t change ever.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
1:26 pm
The Bible in no way endorses marijuana addiction. You are one sick, sick human being.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
8:40 am
Wow. My jaw was dropping to the floor while reading this piece of work until I realized it must be a joke, at which point I was then commending the author for being so sarcastically clever. But then my jaw dropped even further upon coming to the conclusion that it seems to be for real! Do people actually go about their daily lives acting/thinking/talking like this? Wow! Fascinating to say the least!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
7:00 pm
Well I don’t need more guilt here in my life,
How the hell is that supposed to help me find the light?
And I don’t need you preaching at me day and night
About the way I look, the way I walk,
The way I dress and the way I talk,
There’s something that you think you see like you’ve ever looked at me
You say you’ve got it figured out,
And you seem so damn proud about it,
I never really trusted folks who have to talk so loud
That ain’t to say you never looked me in the eye,
But lookin’ isn’t seein’ when you just can’t spare the time,
Besides you’re selling things I just don’t feel like buying,
Like guilt and pain,
Fear and shame,
Who to thank, and who to blame,
A set of rules that’s bound to keep the living out of life
Who to love and who to hate,
What’s too soon and what’s too late,
There’s some test you have to pass before you feel the love of god
Well I don’t need some fear of afterlife,
How the hell is that supposed to help me find the light?
And I don’t need you preaching at me day and night
About the things I do and the things I don’t,
What I will and what I won’t,
There’s fire in your eyes sir, and it chills me to the bone
You say you’ve got it figured out,
And you seem so damn proud about it,
I never really trusted folks who have to talk so loud
So thanks alot man, but I’ll be moving on
Yours is a hateful sermon, and it takes too long
See, life is short and I’m gonna find mine searching for the light……Compliments of YONDER!!
Yes I’m searching for the light
Searching for the light…
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
11:06 am
“Stimulants and hormonal secretions will flow without shame to the confusing pagan beats of a transvestite drummer and his ginger-haired glutton of a sidekick. The rioting will become so intense that every precious memory of childhood, every hope for the greatness of America, will be desecrated in an earthquake of stomping feet and forlorn primordial screams.”
Mr. Billings,
Aside from the fact that you’re a complete and total crackpot, I must thank you for this exquisite piece of literary awesomeness. I am RARELY rendered “speechless” by the rantings of right-wing lunatics such as yourself, however, after reading the two sentences I have quoted above, I was stopped in my tracks by the uncontrollable urge to share your statements with every other Phish Phan I know!!
A+ sir
Your comments are completely off-base, unsubstantiated, and just plain ignorant . . but for some reason, your complete lack of logic, and your insanely narrow-minded view of the world made me smile.
- Sneed
PS – Not ALL of us Phish Phans roll around in pools of our own secretions while eating “magic brownies” and anally fornicating innocent, naive southern girls while proclaiming a socialist, anti-American agenda with a megaphone in the parking lot of shows.
. . that’s only on Fridays and Saturdays.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
9:00 pm
Thank you for the compliment I guess?
(You sound inebriated by the way.)
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:52 pm
This is one of the most ridiculous articles I have ever had the chance to read. You sir “the author” are a huge idiot. God will not want people like you in heaven. You will burn slowly in hell until you are not able to ever type or speak again.. Saving all of us normal people from hearing your idiotic and fucked ideas on what is right.
Hire that guy.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
8:52 pm
So erotic. Stephenson, you would be an awesome erotica author. I would love to see more writings like this. It’s the only thing that made this article bearable to read.
“Droplets of perspiration will drip from the trinkets on his necklaces, tracing lines in the powdered sugar misted over his chest and maybe he’ll use that sugary proximity to lick a stain of chocolate off her clavicle and she’ll touch that dreadlocked hair of his playfully at first, then grab it like a horseback rider taking the reins…”
^sexy.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
9:02 pm
Well, I have written many other pieces on hippies such as Pot Smoking Radicals Are Using the Internet to Turn America Into a Socialist Sex Utopia which is a call to all those patriots out there worried about drug laws.
Thank you for your support my friend!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:11 am
Last time I checked, “Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged” was in the Bible. God does not care if people are “hippies”. You’re using your so called religion to judge others and put yourself above them, which is wrong. If someone is a good worker, who cares if they’re a hippie? I sincerely doubt that he wants anything to do with that guys daughter, he just wants a job. Just because someone is a “hippie” does not mean they are incapable of a long term relationship, and he probably already has a girlfriend. Way to be a judgemental, close minded jerk. I’m sure Jesus would be really proud.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
10:48 pm
Quite literally the most ignorant thing I’ve ever read. Hippies probably don’t experience your little Christian fantasy heaven either. Hahahahahah. This is humbling. I forget people like this writer exist.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
5:15 am
Dear August,
I just wanted to say that organic food is regular food and GMO/Pesticide controlled food is not normal. Organic food is what fed humanity from the beginning (probably millions of years btw) until very very recently just fine. There is such indulgence in food and wealth in America anyway that probably just eating less and sharing your food stockpiles with those in need is probably a better way than condemning regular organic food and wanting to cover it in unnatural (perhaps even unholy if you like) chemicals.
Plus, one other thing that comes to mind – in all depictions of Jesus that I have seen in westernised Christianity, it appears that he is a very beautiful hippy. He is an energy healer, has long hair, wears loose clothing and rebels against the government staging protests. I bet his bread was organic.
Your leader is a hippy dude! Embrace it..
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
12:44 pm
“Judge not, that you be not judged.” Matthew 7:1
You people…
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
12:33 am
This is awesome. Mr. Billings, you are a poet. I will eat a special brownie in your honor, while listening to Jerry.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0