• Smallville Series Finale Review Episode 10 -21 and 10 -22 Watch Online Now

    May 12, 2011 7:08 pm 14 comments
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  • Smallville is a television show about an illegal immigrant boy with magical powers. It is said to be the journey of the world’s “greatest flying hero and Savior” and yet we find Clark Kent, the young Superman, is a closet homosexual.

    When I sat down to review the final episode of Smallville, I expected the standard Jewish blasphemy by Bogarting the Christian faith and teaching children that bullying and violence with ‘superpowers’ is how to get things done in this world.

    But instead, the producers shocked by taking a bad show and making it even worse.

    People who have followed the series for years were likely cheering for team “CLois”.  This is a combination of the Jewish alian Clark and Lois Lane, the loud mouthed brat who posed nude milksacks in another movie.

    How are we supposed to believe that the ‘savior’ would fall for a girl who had gap legged snocker time with

    1) A Fish (Aquaman)

    Lois seduces Aquaman with the drowing act and then entices him to perform mouth to mouth on her, then she performs mouth to south on his barracuda.  She has a one week tuna flinging tryst with him right in Clark’s house, before he dumps her and leaves the set scratching his gonapodium. – Source

    2) A Doppleganger Death Clone (Bizarro)

    Lois went to a bar and sang the requisite drunk girl at karaoke song:  “I love rock and roll!”, which is pure devil’s music by Janis Joplin and has no place in America.  Then, Lois decided to sleep with a crag face Mick Tyler rockstar of geriatric face wrinkles, who turned out to be Clark Kent’s death clone sent to Earth to impregnate Lois with a Dooms Day baby.  It sounds like it was supposed to be the antichrist but by this point, her eggs were so bombarded with fish swimmers and tadpoles, Mick’s seed had no chance of carrying out the satanic plan.

    3) Lex Luthor (A Villain)

    Lex Luthor is a billionaire playboy.  A woman who smells like fish and old people is not desirable for his exclusive palette.  To get him to come taste her nethers, we can see Lois tied herself up and ‘offers’ her sin freely to Lex.  She has painted a red S on her chest for ‘shakey milksack sinner treats’ and she wants Lex to peel her shirt off, the sweat of his heated head revealing his brewing excitement to have a mouthful of her ample yet firm warmth of milk.  Then, he proceeds downward for a splash in the goopy pond Aquaman and Mick Tyler up there have already had their way with.  It is all gross and you would think she could at least pick a place cleaner than a cornfield to perform her hooker acts.  Maybe she wanted Lex to shuck her from behind too.

    4) A Diseased Phallic Playboy (The Green Archery)

    The Green Archery is a Kmart version of Batman without all the homosexuality.  He cares not the past of a woman, he just wants her legs gapped and sally dangling in the wind.  He likes to shoot arrows into women and Lois made it no secret he pierced her target many times.  You can see they had a kinky night of passion and Lois is not even winded by it, but the Archery is looking beat up but still in for a round two or three.

    And don’t forget Lois worked as a stripper on the show and off.  What a sick girl and a good think Clark Kent has devil powers, or his plunger would have already rotted off in Lois Lane’s fish cave of sin.

    Now many of you parents out there are shocked.  You are terrified to know that for ten years, you have allowed your child to watch fantasy violence, vampire, witchcraft, drug orgies and alcohol speed race encouraging television show, but now, you see it gets worse.  Smallville’s final two episodes are about a homosexual reference between Clark and Lex.

    In the show, there is a place called the “Kiwatchi Caves”.  In the caves, was an ancient drawing of Clark and Lex coming from one body.  Someone thought it meant they were fated to be enemies, but in reality, they were playing a game of hop in the same pants and let gay acts occur.

    As I watched this episode for my local parenting review, I became sick with a case of dry heaves. It was a dizzying experience and I do not remember the final moments. These are a few images from my Tivo.




    Look at how softly Lex is laying his hands on a muddy brown Clark.  Sewer hole symbolism and many of Smallville’s audience is too young and naive to realize what’s going on here.

    In one scene, Clark is looking through his yearbook, trying to decide if he wants to be a Savior or just have a gay island get away with his little bald melon Cabana boy.  Then he pulls out this photograph.

    Now that is just terrible.  Lex is wearing pink lip hue and Clark is bulging his chin, a sign of domination.  Look at how he cools Lex’s right pectorals with a Kryptonian handful of smooth bath water from the exotic Almond kissed salts of phallic salivation.

    They then take their escapades to a beach, where the greenscreen technique of the producers once again show why Smallville is being forced off the air in pathetic shame.

    Lusty musties.  This is what gays call what you see here.

    This is how the last scene of Smallville 10-20 ended.  The only cliffhanger was how Lex was somehow hanging off the super sin dock of homo Clark.

    Lois was left crying and fellating the Archery behind the chapel.  Clark’s mom was lip smacking Clark’s ghost dad, even though she had a love triangle with Lex Luthor’s father Lionel Luthor.

    Lois then had a lesbian scene with a girl named Lama Lang gloing green and a midget black named Pete showed up and just smile about it all like Obama eating watermelon and taking all the credit for the Osama kill.

    By this point my baked beans and corn mush were not setting well and I just wanted to turn it all off.  But it is my duty as a tv critic to continue to watch shows like this so I can warn all of you about them, so I perservered.  I persevered into the second half of this two hour marathon.

    The next half of the show open in the Fortress of Solitude.  Clark’s biological father was a wealthy scientist who had a good heart.  Sure, he burns in hell because he believed in some false Egyptian god named Rao, but he was still okay and built a pretty neat crystal mansion for Clark.

    The father’s name is Jorel.  And Jorel is disgusted by Clark Kent’s latent homosexuality.  Using super powers of science, Jorel gives Lex a death touch and Clark cries.

    Straight on a vent and then intubated.

    The ending was then all a rushed Full House plot.  Clark realizes that he cannot be romantically involved with a villain because it is immoral and then, his dad killed Lex for being a sashaying kebob for Clark’s Krptonian meat skewer.

    Over all this, Clark then went on to fight a villain named Darkseid and General Zod.  Apparently Kryptonians suffer slight dyslexia because it says Darkseid if you pause it on ending credits.

    The finale culminates with more homosexuality, as General Zod and Clark battle it out with a giant blue dildo.

    This is likely homage to the giant blue phallus on the Wathmen.

    You can see this show is all about teen angst and homosexuality.  It is dangerous and thank God off the air.

    Moral RatingS (Sinister) for


    Insure you forbade your children from seeing this show at all costs.


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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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