Spaghetti and Meatballs – Chrstain food, or Work of the Devil?
In today’s world it’s harder and harder for a Christian to keep the faith, and it doesn’t get any easier when you go to your local supermarket. After battling your way through isles of sinners and Mexicans, you finally find yourself at the one place you can be sure will bring yourself health and good fortune; the canned soup isle. While strolling down looking for some good ole’ chicken noodle soup, my three year old ended up pointing at a can of spaghetti and meatballs specifically marketed for children. I didn’t think anything of this seeming innocent purchase until I got home and unpacked the bag.
Maybe the first thing that should’ve struck me as sinful was “meatballs”, but I just didn’t think anything of it. I opened the can in a vain attempt to get dinner on the table quickly, and I noticed two meatballs stuck together in an odd formation. At once I knew this was the work of Satan and homosexuals, in an attempt to generalize homosexuality in children. I was shocked and appalled seeing this small can of what should’ve been dinner turn into homosex propaganda. I instantly destroyed both the can and the contents before my children could see it, and had a simple meal of cereal. Thankfully it’s one food product the homosexual sinners haven’t attempted to destroy yet.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Far
Only true christains will see the light.
8:00 pm
Please tell me this is satire.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
8:01 pm
What a hardship! I am at least thankful you destroyed the meal before children could see. We should take this up with the Chef Boyardee company. We must remain vigilant against these sinners!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
8:21 pm
The gays lurk in many places.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
8:38 pm
And apparently you have one in your closet if you’re so damned hateful towards them for no reason.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
8:26 pm
Chef Boyardee is the yummiest shit on the planet.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
8:50 pm
This is why I never eat asparagus. Too phallic.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
8:55 pm
First off, it’s aisle, not isle. An isle is an island. An aisle is a walkway between to other things.
Secondly, why are you feeding your family out of a can? If you’re a good Christian woman, you should be at home cooking your family a homemade dinner. And if you’re a man, why isn’t your wife at home making you a homemade dinner? Is she out whoring around? Or are YOU a homosexual? Or worse, a mexican?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
9:17 pm
Actually good sir, an aisle is a walkway between “two” other things, not “to”. I pray your grammar because better whilst you grow older.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
9:20 pm
Becomes*. Apparently Satan is trying to affect the work being done on this website.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
9:31 pm
This has shed some light upon me, and I will promise to the lord to never ever let myself or my family eat any more of this sinful food.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:30 pm
My misspelling of “two” was unintentional, and simply that, a misspelling. Similar to “I pray your grammar because [sic] better whilst you grow older.”
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:25 pm
Wow, what an amazing article! The homo-gay threat is insidious, and it is ever watchful conservatives like yourself that help keep the Christian nation alert and ready to defend their innocent white children.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
12:09 am
The French are out to poison us with mysterious preparations and secret commands like mes en plas, which I’m pretty sure means chocolate congress.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
3
12:28 am
You don’t do any research at all, do you? Oh, that’s right, you think logic and reason are tools of the devil.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
1:35 pm
Sorry Blanche, but it’s mise en place, and the basic translation (although not exactly literal) is to “put everything in its place” prior to cooking. As a good Christian housewife you should be familiar with the concept, if not the terminology. Now get your ass back in the kitchen and shut up!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
2:03 pm
You know LN, posts don’t automagically become more interesting or witty when one changes monikers.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
2:22 pm
It isn’t very clever.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
3:33 pm
I didn’t. I’m not L.N No go make me something to eat and when you come back, rub my feet.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:18 am
This has to be the most irrational thing i’ve ever heard in my life… especially the racial slur upon. It would be quite un-natural to firstly think of homosexuality if you see two objects touching. Perhaps not thinking about it and accepting it like a real Christian would be more respectful as well as rational.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:24 am
The Moors interbred with the Italians in the 9th-11th centuries. Since then you can barely consider Italians human.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
1:30 pm
But you’re not racist, right?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
3:35 pm
And you look like one of your parents was an Afghan hound.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0