• Spreading The HomoGay In America? There’s An App For That! 12 Applications The iphone Is Using To Spread The Gay Agenda!

    May 12, 2011 8:02 pm 17 comments

    Angry Birds

    By the way these things are drawn to look, the App should have been called “Angry-Homogay-Birds-Who-Want-To-Rape-And-Sodomize-Your-Children“. The goal of this particular application is to distract your kids while Satan plants seeds of a destructive nature in their young impressionable minds. It is packed full of references to the gay culture; an “Angry Bird” is what homogays call it when two guys lay in the 69 position and motorboat each others taints. It is very disturbing. Let’s move on.

    Facetime

    This is a video phone application, which on any other phone would be innocent enough. However, since the iphone is strictly marketed to gays it is mostly used for long distance sausage viewing and late night lesbian group fisting. Don’t be fooled if you catch someone using this and they claim not to be homogay. When you turn around they will probably only try to rape you. With this application they can film it and send it to other homogays and before you know it strange men everywhere will be masturbating to images of your heinous assault.

    Pandora

    Well known to cater to the homogay agenda, they use this application as a sneaky way to slip Satan into your morning workout routine. Subliminal messaging is everywhere and the group of gay-lovers at Pandora uses it extensively. If you enter the name of your favorite Christian Hymnal it will instead take you to Lady Gaga’s channel and you will be bombarded with messages of transsexual lust that bring forth images of meat clad lesbians dancing in the moonlight to the Devil’s fiddle.

    Craigslist Mobile


    This application comes complete with a homogay classified section, in which gays post advertisements for which sin they would like to participate in next and others answer before meeting up and deciding where they can find some children to molest. This is more aimed at undercover homogays rather than the ones who roam around unashamed by their sin, as when caught they can use the excuse “Oh, I was just looking for a used lawnmower…” This is all part of an elaborate gay code and if you answer innocently in the wrong way he may try to force his penis on your holy anal cavity.

    Infinity Blade

    This game has you running around having homogay ‘sword fights’ all the while dressed as a helldog minion of Satan himself. It allows you to roll-play as not only a gay but a satanic gay. A small percentage of the users have actually became homosexuals in real life after playing this game but Steve Jobs and Apple have done their best to silence the reports. He can’t silence Christwire, however, as God’s cancer is at this very moment eating his cold black soul. Jesus 1, Steve Jobs 0.

    Vlingo


    Vlingo is popular as it allows you to speak and everything you say be translated into text. It especially helps homogays and blacks who don’t know how to spell, however on the whole blacks cannot afford iphones, so most of its use goes to making lesser intelligent gays sound smarter and more attractive. For lesbians it frees up their hands to violate themselves with small plastic versions of the angry bird characters while texting with girlfriends. It also allows for quick Facebook updates when homogay orgies get busted by cops and locations have to be changed on the fly.

    Mover

    In theory it sounds innocent; share pictures, contacts, and other data with other iphones. Considering, however, most iphones are owned by homogays the ability to give each other naked pictures of barely legal man parts doesn’t sound so innocent anymore. Sharing contact information means easily spreading the gay social network to those who may not even be gay, like your children. At least yet anyways. If this app has it’s way they soon will be.

    Skype

    Skype is a voice chat program used over the internet. So why have a voice chat program on a phone, which is in itself a voice chat program? To spread the gay, that’s why. Homosexuals are known for being promiscuous and often they need something extra on their phone to help them keep track of all the sin they are committing. Skype is the perfect application to further use the Internet to commit their sins, and when they have it on the go that just means they can do twice the debauchery in half the time. A very useful tool for the homogay, but to the rest of us it doubles the sin we have to pray to God to forgive the world for come Sunday’s ministry.

    The Sims 3

    This game is full of homogay sin. If you have two women as roommates and try to steer them on a path to follow Jesus and his teachings, the game is coded to make them gay and often produce Chinese looking children. Gays use this app to live out fantasies that are otherwise looked down upon by a decent society, such as fornicating with babies and leading a homogay lifestyle in public. Those who become addicted to this game often begin to crave this sort of thing in real life, and it has been known to spill over into real life headlines. Just look at poor brother Haggard, who was reported to have played this game only a day before his ill-fated homogay encounter in a Colorado hotel room a few years ago.

    AroundMe

    A GPS tool, this allows homogay users to know when they are close to a gay bar. It also doubles as a warning to let them know when they are near a church and to steer clear lest God smite them with a random piano falling out of the sky. It also lets the pervert Apple users know when they are near a school, which they will take full advantage of by spreading homogay literature throughout the halls if left unwatched. Be sure the teachers at your child’s school know to keep an eye out for this sort of behavior lest gay fliers end up in your home.

    Worldlens

    This translation tool allows homogays of different nationalities to communicate with each other. It is mostly used by male Mexican homoprostitutes to convey prices to their liberal customers lest there may be a misunderstanding over some pesos. It can also be used to hide sinister intentions from prying ears when they are planning to turn your daughter to a lesbian within your earshot. The evil homo uses for such an application go on and on. The only good that can come of this is that possibly the illegals will start beating and robbing the homogays for their translators instead of accosting innocent citizens in the stores for help with grocery checkouts.

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    About The Author
    Alex Keating Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

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