• The Internets’ Tongue Kissing Box: A Kiss without a Hug is Like a Rose without the Fragrance

    May 4, 2011 12:43 pm 21 comments

    Dude, what are you doing?

    Most engineers, no matter the discipline – mechanical, electrical or chemical – developed a keen interest in engineering and science fiction for one singular reason. That reason is to make a girl robot.

    One Asian, a young future engineer, has devoted some time and effort into the design and modeling of an “internet tongue kissing box”. The box, shown in the video below, looks like an oversized juice box with a particularly thick, bent straw. The box serves much like the tin cans and string of yesteryear, only the purpose isn’t to hear another distant person, it is to feel the spontaneity of another person’s tongue kiss via commands to the box from the string of the internet.

    In the past, one could be somewhat certain the reason for the universal young-engineer objective of building a robot girl would be to fabricate a help mate or mechanical friend that would turn Bible pages during evening quiet study, play a game of chess, or open jars. In today’s internet driven world, it seems reasoning has given way to more tactile driven needs and perhaps less innocence and moral conscience.

    A kiss is an enduring sign of peace for many and was the sign of betrayal before the crucifixion. The world witnessed not one but two kisses of hope just last week with the marriage of Wills and Kate. Imagine if they were to instead use one of these contraptions instead of kissing, chastely on the balcony. Would this have been as stirring or inspiring for the peoples of Britain? Would the world believe they were married?

    This invention is the sign of something, but I have little faith that the internet is will use it for peaceful means. It is common knowledge the second Xerox copy ever made was of some tech’s bottom cheeks.

    Invention is the mother of the Devil’s work. Much has been said regarding the slow fade of community identity with the acceptance of air conditioning, in-house washing machines and texting technology. Imagine the fellowship once enjoyed by women gathering at the river to clean the family’s laundry. Those days are long past. One supposes this tongue kissing box could help bridge the gap left by those inventions, but one must ask “to what end?”

    To me this opens the possibility for spam tongues to crop up over the internet and tongue applications for the iPhone. Will people start tweeting tongue kisses? Will people stop kissing each other in person? Is this a loophole to personal chastity? Can particularly enjoyable tonguing sessions be saved and replayed? How pathetic does the individual feel after using one of these? Is this dishwasher safe?

    The actual tongue box in action is not pleasant to watch. It seems like peeping into someone’s private time. I’m sure someone will replace the straw stimulator with some raucous, most likely pierced tongue prosthesis that glows in the dark or will come in flavors. It seems to need these enhancements for identity branding from a plain straw. After all, the most enjoyable of kisses are done with eyes open.

    Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~Albert Einstein

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    About The Author
    Blanche Beecham "Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM

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