The Internets’ Tongue Kissing Box: A Kiss without a Hug is Like a Rose without the Fragrance
Most engineers, no matter the discipline – mechanical, electrical or chemical – developed a keen interest in engineering and science fiction for one singular reason. That reason is to make a girl robot.
One Asian, a young future engineer, has devoted some time and effort into the design and modeling of an “internet tongue kissing box”. The box, shown in the video below, looks like an oversized juice box with a particularly thick, bent straw. The box serves much like the tin cans and string of yesteryear, only the purpose isn’t to hear another distant person, it is to feel the spontaneity of another person’s tongue kiss via commands to the box from the string of the internet.
In the past, one could be somewhat certain the reason for the universal young-engineer objective of building a robot girl would be to fabricate a help mate or mechanical friend that would turn Bible pages during evening quiet study, play a game of chess, or open jars. In today’s internet driven world, it seems reasoning has given way to more tactile driven needs and perhaps less innocence and moral conscience.
A kiss is an enduring sign of peace for many and was the sign of betrayal before the crucifixion. The world witnessed not one but two kisses of hope just last week with the marriage of Wills and Kate. Imagine if they were to instead use one of these contraptions instead of kissing, chastely on the balcony. Would this have been as stirring or inspiring for the peoples of Britain? Would the world believe they were married?
This invention is the sign of something, but I have little faith that the internet is will use it for peaceful means. It is common knowledge the second Xerox copy ever made was of some tech’s bottom cheeks.
Invention is the mother of the Devil’s work. Much has been said regarding the slow fade of community identity with the acceptance of air conditioning, in-house washing machines and texting technology. Imagine the fellowship once enjoyed by women gathering at the river to clean the family’s laundry. Those days are long past. One supposes this tongue kissing box could help bridge the gap left by those inventions, but one must ask “to what end?”
To me this opens the possibility for spam tongues to crop up over the internet and tongue applications for the iPhone. Will people start tweeting tongue kisses? Will people stop kissing each other in person? Is this a loophole to personal chastity? Can particularly enjoyable tonguing sessions be saved and replayed? How pathetic does the individual feel after using one of these? Is this dishwasher safe?
The actual tongue box in action is not pleasant to watch. It seems like peeping into someone’s private time. I’m sure someone will replace the straw stimulator with some raucous, most likely pierced tongue prosthesis that glows in the dark or will come in flavors. It seems to need these enhancements for identity branding from a plain straw. After all, the most enjoyable of kisses are done with eyes open.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~Albert Einstein
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Author: Blanche Beecham
"Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM
2:37 pm
Yu post this lacist shit about Asians! Yu need head out of ass. Yu clazy. Yu no kissy kiss on straw. Whaa? Yu no Stephen Hawklins.
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10:19 pm
Please stop spelling so slanted.
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10:15 pm
This looks like a slippery slope to masturbation. If I touch my sex area, then I will burn in hell. If I put on a glove, it is no better. If I use a feather duster, Jesus still knows what I am doing. If I build a robot kissing machine and program it to do the wifely duties, do you think Christ will be fooled?
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11:26 pm
What if your wife touches your sex area? What about the sperm that don’t reach the eggs? Every time you have sex, you and someone else are masturbating together at the same time, and you could make her pregnant! Think of the children! Not only that, but what if a child saw you? You pervert!
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11:55 pm
Get behind me, Satan!
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12:00 am
Dick just admitted he was gay.
He is no longer Christian.
And nothing of importance was lost.
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2:36 pm
sorry dude already exists
http://goo.gl/umgiu
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11:11 pm
Asians have the internets now? This will surley lead to a new more technical pearl harbor.
Now people kissing won’t just get mono, but they will get Asian bird flu sars and any other filthy disease Asians that continent can muster
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11:28 pm
You claim that asians are making their own sun (really?) and now you’re acting surprised that they have internet? Not only that, but you’re honestly going to compare them having the internet with Pearl Harbor, and rather than pick one place, you’re just going to make a blanket-statement and pretty much say that all asians are the same.
Wow! How the FUCK do you think you aren’t racist?
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11:39 pm
No they aren’t making their own Sun. Are you dense? That is preposterous on so many levels. They already have their own Asian sun and are trying to destroy ours.
It sounds like you want more Pearl Harbors to happen?
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11:47 pm
You just said that them making their own sun is preposterous, and then you say that they already made one.
Do you know how big the sun is? I’ll give you a hint, it’s a lot bigger than Earth, and why is the sun ‘Caucasian’?
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11:51 pm
Wow, you need to learn science. They didn’t make one; it has existed since time began thousands of years ago.
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11:57 pm
Well dipshit, I’m not the one claiming that they made one, YOU are. Remember a particular blog post of yours? How an Asian sun was ‘discovered’? How did an ‘Asian’ sun come about if there’s only one sun? You do know how big the sun is, right?
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12:01 am
I never claimed they made one. Only that it was discovered. And they wanted to destroy ours.
Did you not read the article?
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12:04 am
You have yet to answer the question of how big the sun is. I want an honest answer out of you, how big do you think the sun is?
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12:09 am
without looking it up, I seem to remember 1 million miles across approx.
You never answer my questions though. ever
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12:17 am
I do answer your questions, most of the time anyways.
Alright, now if the sun is millions of miles wide, why is this ‘Asian’ sun never visible? After all, if it’s supposed to be as big as the sun in the center of our universe, then why does no one else ever see it? Why isn’t it day time right now? Why is it that on a clear day like today, I didn’t see two big balls of light in the sky, and just one?
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12:25 am
Did you not read the article? Their sun is dark, we cannot see it.
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12:38 am
Then it’s not a sun. If it doesn’t produce light, it’s not a sun. A sun gives off light.
By your own admission, you’re full of shit.
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2:00 am
And you still did not read the article? Why hound me on how big the sun is when you won’t even read the article?
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5:51 pm
That is impossible scientifically. The so called “Asian Sun” would create a gravitational disaster. Also sustained fusion is still in fiction so SHUT IT.
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