• The Story of Adam and Eve – Christwire/Hanna Barbera

    May 19, 2011 5:39 pm 30 comments

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    Abe

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    Many women today may try to deny it, but they are the products of man’s ribs.  They were put here to be our help meat.  Their flesh is here to help us and it is told in the Bible.

    Our story begins in the Garden of Eden. God had created Adam and told him, “Name all the animals.” God could have named them, but did this so Adam would not be a welfare case and expect God to do all the work.

    So Adam went around naming everything in American, “Lion”, he said as he saw the lions for the first time. “Serpent scepter”, he said when he saw a snake looked like an evil Holy Scepter. This name would be so fitting but he yet had no idea. Next, “giraffe, elephant, gnat fly”. Adam continued like this until all the animals were named.

    After a spell, Adam became sad and depressed. God asked Adam what was wrong and he said, “I feel lonely. I need a companion.” God knew that Adam had a holy urge. All the hard work of being a man had left Adam with a need to, express, his love for someone. And that is why woman was created. So Adam could use the gift of his holy scepter to make his day better. So God passed a great sleep over Adam and used true genetics to create a woman.

     

    As we can see, the original woman’s pure porecelain skin, flawless figure and auburn brown hair to her backsides was quite a site!  Adam was excited and named this creature Eve.  God did not create a man for Adam’s companion because homosexuality is sick and hell was not yet invented to throw gays into.

    Well, the rest of the story is known to many.  God told Adam and Eve they could do anything but disobey.  At this point, Eve had no eggs in her body and Adam had free reign to dominate her.  The only condition of this lifestyle was that Adam and Eve could not eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  Eve, however, was frolicking through the gardens of Eden one day and a talking snake came to her.

    “Snake, how do you know how to talk American?”

    “I used to be an angel, Eve.  Now I’m just a slithering beast.  But I can make you feel new things!”

    “Really.”

    “Yes, Eve, Yes.  Just let me slide into your secret place.”

    “Okay.”

    Eve let Satan have sex with her while he was in his snake form, and in the animal orgy of spitting poison passion he drugged her mind to be more malleable to his words.  He then convinced her to eat of a sin apple, so that it would give her body knowledge of how to get pregnant.  Possessed by Satan, Eve used her flesh to tempt Adam.  Temptress!

    Adam stood no chance.  Look at that perfect Christian wife figure.  Adam ate of the apple and had jollies.  Then, we know Satan’s child came out first (Cain) and Adam’s child (Abel).  Cain murdered Abel and it was Satan’s plan to make evil into our DNA.  And that is why we have crimes, murders and all that on Earth now.  Because Eve had sex with Satan and Cain is the son of Satan and the genetic founder point of evil in humanity.  Even geneticists and theory of evolution agree with this point.

    Some of our elder ChristWire board members served with Hanna Barbera and collaborated on a cartoon to bring to our children.  Please, feel free to use your CW Modems to ‘record’ this video and burn it to DVD.  It is one the family will always enjoy.

     

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    About The Author
    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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