• Top Ten Threats To America In a Bin Laden-less World

    May 2, 2011 12:13 am 31 comments

    As you have no doubt heard, unless you have been living in a cave (Although there is one guy who was living in a cave who knew exactly what was going on) American troops have killed Osama Bin Laden.   Who will now take over as the biggest threat to America?  Here is a list we, at Christwire.org, have brought you for your consideration.

     

    Kate Middleton

     

    It has been reported in the past by Christwire that the new queen of England has ties to terrorism. How she took the death of her Leader Bin Laden has not yet been apparent, but there is no doubt she will already be planning her revenge. You need to be careful of anyone with a British accent. This woman is devious and definitely will use our language against us in planning her attack. A preemptive strike against England might be called for.

     

    The WiiWii

     

    Without Bin Laden to spread the liberal message of hate many will turn to Nintendo’s new console, the WiiWii, in order to recieve their terrorist propaganda. It is a well known fact that Al Quada has used the Wii Network in the past to recruit new operatives. Don’t let your child become the next Bin Laden by associating himself with such sin.

     

    The Daily Show

     

    Liberals have their news outlets, and that’s fine. There is no reason for them to take over comedy networks. It would make sense, however, as their ideas can only be thought of seriously when being made fun of. Too many people take these satirists seriously, however, and many are made to look like asses when they find out it’s not a real news show and the people involved are merely actors.

     

    Planned Parenthood

     

    Abortion is a sin and these sin-mongers are trying to spread it to your children. As you can tell from our faithful graph there is no bigger proponent for abortion out there than Planned Parenthood. The idea that they should be allowed to run rampant in this country is offensive. Hopefully, however, just like the terrorist threat they will be stomped out by the right wing conservatives in this country.

     

    NAACP

     

    White children are being attacked by blacks at fast food restaurants all over this nation. If they were black, the NAACP would have their lawyers all over it. Instead, the racists who make up the organization tend to turn a blind eye when the racism they find isn’t quite the brand they like to see. They preach equality yet equality means everyone should deserve their help, not just those who are privileged enough to have colored skin.

     

    The Howard Stern Show

     

    Christwire and this heathen monger have quite the checkered past. As we learned from his broadcasts, he is a regular reader of our fair news organization. It is obvious he must be possessed by demons from his answers to the questions asked about it. No doubt without a villain like Bin Laden in this world, a man like Stern can now steal the throne, and make it legal for all to take child brides as he did.

     

    Muslims

     

    Even without their go-to guy these people are dangerous. They don’t worship Jesus like you and I do and like to blow things up when they don’t get their way. No doubt many of them will be saddened during this time of great rejoicing for the American people, and want to retaliate in some form or the other. Keep a strong eye out in these next few weeks lest the terrorists may catch us off guard!

     

    Gays

     

    Gays have a lot of events going on this summer where they will try to steal your children from you to rape and sodomize them. Amongst the offending carnivals of sin are E:3 and Comic-Con, which Christwire will be bringing you extensive coverage of. They may be looking at the Bin Laden victory as a nice distraction to keep us occupied while they try to get in our children’s pants.

     

    Rap Music

     

    No doubt some special educated rapper will try to take the name of Bin Laden in the next few months in hopes to cash in on the street cred allowed him by the majority of artists in the genre today. They will try to make him into a hero while teaching children how to bomb buildings. Someone needs to put a stop to this: If not the good people at the RIAA then we, the consumers need to take action. Ban this music and do not let your children listen to it or buy their t-shirts. It will only turn them into terrorists.

     

    Barack Obama

     

    Yet still, the most famous Muslim of them all walks the streets. While taking credit for killing Osama Bin Laden (We all know Bush did it), it is no doubt that he will take the throne from the deceased terrorist leader and himself wreak more havoc upon the American people than all the terrorists of the world. We would be smart to impeach and deport him now, lest we see another 9-11 on our shores.

     

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    About The Author
    Alex Keating Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

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