Twinks Versus Bears: How Vicious Infighting Threatens to Undermine the Homosexual Agenda’s United Front
The ultimate endgame of the homosexual agenda in America is once again coming under fire. This time, however, the attacks are being organized from within. Years of cultural and political successes have made the community of same-sex adherents greedy and egomaniacal. They have had major victories with the redefinition of marriage in several states, liberalized adoption laws, special rights in the workplace, the emasculation of our educational policies and Obama’s imminent federalized protection of male-on-male intercourse in the military. While their greatest challenge continues to be the passionate work of Christian advocates, homosexuals are now engaged in a vicious battle with each other over the direction of their radical movement. This festering conflict will surely shatter any illusion of a “united homosexual front” and is thrilling news for supporters of traditional morality.
The two main camps in this ferocious fight are the “Twinks” and the “Bears.” These terms are quite common in the catty world of gay vernacular and define not just physical appearance, but economic status and social beliefs as well. For years now these two groups have been vying for territory in bars and vacation hotspots across the country. Now they are wrestling for dominance on a national scale. Their shrill debates on the topic are sprayed out all over the blogosphere on a daily basis. Ultimately, both seek to be the final arbiter of what it means to be homosexual in America today.
On one side, the “bears” are working behind the scenes to exert undue influence on our political system. They are especially secretive about their culture and employ highly placed operatives and corrupt lobbyists to get want they want. In contrast to this approach, there is a new generation of gay men known as “twinks” who promote sexual perversion in our schools and on our streets. Their goal to is legitimize promiscuity and effeminacy by numbing us with their persistent outrages.
Bears are so named because they exude that “raw, wilderness smell.” They are husky and hairy men who outfit themselves in flannels, heavy workboots and lumberjack suspenders. Unkempt facial hair is also a significant feature of this breed, with the fullness of a beard signifying the particular level of conjugal accomplishment one has achieved. Originally this was an underground blue-collar phenomena consisting of men with little advanced education. The “bear scene” has changed in recent years and today includes such genera as “Queen Bears,” “Leather Daddies” and “Furries.” The first is known for his peroxide-dyed hair and hypersonic mode of speaking, while the leatherman embraces military attire and extreme forms of fornication. “Furries” are men who dress up in the plush costumes of vintage cartoon characters, like Donald Duck or Yogi Bear, to act out suppressed childhood fantasies of slithery bestiality. In general terms, a “cub” is a younger, less intelligent bear who is being groomed for a dominant sodomy position, while an “otter” is someone who laments his lack of body hair by playing the anal bottom for large groups of the insatiably hirsute.
Bears tend to live in small domestic settings in the outlying districts of major urban centers. They can also be found in rural areas wherever there is a concentration of antique stores and open bodies of water. Upstate New York and New England are two common locales for their habitats. These types find employment in the managerial levels of companies. They are often chartered accountants, marketing analysts, journalists and even firemen. Because of their property ownership and higher income levels, they gravitate towards quiet forms of political activism most notably in groups such as HRC, GLAAD and the Empire State Pride Agenda. They are not as subversive as their twink peers and vote democrat in great numbers. Their greatest issues are so-called homosexual marriage, adoption and immigration which they argue about endlessly on Joe Jervis’s website, as well as Bearotic and Deaf Woof Barks. Notable icons in this group are Wayne Besen, leader of the boorish brigade “Truth Wins Out,” gossip columnist Michael Musto (grandmother of the “Queen Bear” movement), and lusty legislator Barney Frank of Massachusetts.
Twinks are defined by a basic contradiction. They tend to be the offspring of affluent parents, but have little disposable income of their own. Physically, they are slight of build and smooth-chested. They are noteworthy for their girlish natures, often employing lip-gloss, glitter and tight clothing to exacerbate this controversial look. Their strange appearances are cultivated in the confines of elite academic institutions like UCLA or Vassar where immature utopias of multiculturalism are actively plotted by lecherous professors simply looking for an excuse to fondle precious coed genitalia. They pursue degrees in fashion and film studies, though rarely do they achieve success in those occupations.
Twinks tend to live in central urban locales and will cohabitate in closely-knit social groups. Despite their lack of noticeable income, they prefer upscale cocktail lounges and discos with entry fees. Long-term mating is rare, unless a twink is suffering from an acute cash shortage. As they age, they take up yoga and shirtless rollerblading, never appearing in public without a freshly-shaven chest. Duplicitous Ken Mehlman is a perfect example of this variety.
Politically, twinks consider themselves outsiders. Most would identify as socialists or anarchists if pressed, though they avoid participating in elections. Because of their extensive sleeping regimens, they do not wake before noon and thus do not participate in street protests. When they do enter national debates, it is usually to voice outrage over some minor cultural trend via the internet, clicking obscene websites like Queerty and Bilerco as they laze around on a crusty futon in some ghetto apartment. Blogger Dan Savage is probably the best-known agitator behind this particular aspect of twink activity. Other prominent figures include Neil Patrick Harris and Adam Lambert, who have tried to insert twink sensibilities into contemporary culture. Of the older generation, George Takei, Nathan Lane and Jimmy LaSalvia have worked tirelessly to promote the trendiness of lithe, smooth frames on men.
In keeping with their contradictory natures, some twinks do align themselves with radical elements in the Republican Party. So-called “Log Cabin Republicans” are elder twinks on the prowl for wealthy gentlemen in the fertile regions of conservative high society. These types of twinks love to breathe in the hearty male musk of Washington’s smoky backrooms, where cognac and Aqua Velva titillate with dreams of a Palm Beach palace. They can be found in private gentlemen’s clubs, hoping a robust game of racquet ball leads to a relaxing release in the steam room and maybe even an invitation to lunch at the Senate Dining Room.
It’s worth noting here that both groups practice unusual sexual proclivities that demand closer inspection. The characteristics of each community reveal strengths and weaknesses that certainly come into play as they fight for dominance. For more on specific locations of such activity, see the groundbreaking report, “Sweat, Sodomy and Radical Socialism: A Shocking Look Inside America’s Most Dangerous Gay Bars.” In the end, it is the unique libidos of the twinks and bears that may determine who ends up “on top” in this obscene pursuit of a homosexual cultural monopoly.
Much like their namesakes, bears hibernate for long periods between active sexual prowling. As one investigation has recently revealed, they can be quite active during their summer and winter intercourse seasons. They will migrate long distances to find an appropriate mate, though a simple exchange of bodily fluids does not necessarily lead to fidelity. Indeed, many bear mating areas such as the Fire Island Meat Pack are foul centers of anonymous penetrations. Fully-matured bears exhibit a sophisticated sense of smell that assists them in honing in on a potential partner. The quality of one man’s raw odor serves the dual purpose of luring a mate and warding off potential competitors. When contesting a prize, they will pull on their lush beards and puff out their flannelled bellies to intimidate an opponent. If that fails, another tactic they use is trivia one-upmanship. In these verbal contests, one will challenge another’s knowledge of the best places to stay in Provincetown or the lyrics to obscure musical acts like the Scissor Sisters until the loser is forced to retreat to a dark corner for a warm beer and some messy scowling.
Sexually, bears engage in almost every form of physical violation, from armpit licking and darkroom ejaculation, to bukkake (semen consumption) and “fisting.” They have also taken up the dangerous new trend of “power bottoming” with unrivaled passion. Their sessions tend to be prolonged and unnecessarily loud. There is a bestial nature to their fornication, as one asserts his superior role over another by forcing his engorged phallus down the weaker man’s throat or by sodomizing him unrepentantly against the slimy wall of some interstate reststop bathroom as mortified onlookers cover their ears to block out the screams.
In the most extreme cases, bears offer sex in the private S&M dungeons found in many large cities. Entry fees are $20 and up, while full year memberships can run in the hundreds of dollars. A private bondage session with a “leather master” can cost one between $150 to $400 an hour, and will include handcuffs and humiliation. You will be ushered into a warren of narrow hallways heavy with chemical scents. The lights will be dim and walls painted black. Grim men will position themselves outside small rooms, beckoning you inside. These cabins are decorated with nothing more than a cot and an old-fashioned television set streaming illicit videos. The “dungeon master” will have a larger showcase at the very back of the establishment that features a hospital examination bed, chainlink fencing and a leather apparatus hanging from the ceiling known as a “sling.” You will be forced to strip down to your underwear and gagged. Fervid flagellation then follows. With all the whipping and shouting, it won’t take long for the victim to foul himself with a hot froth of excrement and tears.
The promiscuous sexuality of the twink population poses the gravest danger to the younger generation of Americans. These streetwalking libertines have been known to entice many confused and lonely boys into this lifestyle by making it seem “hip” and “cool.” The modus operandi of the twink is a highly sophisticated pantomime of flirtation. They can be aloof and disdainful one moment, and then suddenly seductive the next. They are salacious at our local beaches, prancing around in speedo swimming attire and flicking their lustrous long hair like a supple leaf beckoning the appetite of slow-moving caterpillar. They ambush you with their farcically innocent ways and before you know it, you’re emptying your wallet for afternoon shopping sprees and expensive meals (during which they always take a phone call that forces them to exit early).
Because this group is made up of students and the unemployed, twinks have ample time to pursue their prey. In the daytime they lurk in designer department stores and trendy cappuccino shops. They have been known to lure unsuspecting men into the bathrooms at Kmart. As noted previously, night finds them in expensive urban clubs where older men feel shunned, no matter how nicely they have dressed. In the early morning hours, they migrate to the classified ad website Craigslist in great numbers, posting pleas for cocaine and role-play liaisons.
In the bedroom, the twink’s first preference is for oral stimulation and mutual masturbation. Another favored practice is digital anal manipulation and they will encourage this by showing off their bubblegum-colored entryways with little shame. They are also avid semen consumers and sadly, many videos exist online to verify this fact. At the end of a “hook up,” the twink will inevitably dig out an unpaid rent bill from his pocket and lay it woefully on your nightstand.
When money is the primary reason for contact, the twink will offer his services for $200 an hour, though this can be negotiated down to $100 or $75 if the hour is late and the young man suffers from acne. In such cases, sexual activity is limited to masturbation. For those paying market rates, one can expect oral copulation but rarely is sodomy on the table. To have a twink play the role of penetrator top during intercourse is next to impossible, particularly if his patron is of an advanced age.
As we conclude this survey of homosexual culture in America today, the question of what comes next arises. It is not yet clear who will win this struggle. Bears do have enormous political resources and connections to the highest levels of the Obama administration. Twinks, on the other hand, come from the upper classes and may be able to leverage the outlays of their future inheritances to gain legitimacy. Will the bears use their agile beltway practices to force our Congressmen into repealing DOMA? Will the twinks become so visible that they achieve acceptance by oversaturating our culture? Could the overall homosexual display of perversion push Governor Sarah Palin to victory in 2012? Or will the bears and twinks consume each other in sweaty secret sessions that distract both from partaking in our mainstream discourse? Recent Christian legislative successes in Tennessee and Minnesota show that there are surely chinks in the gay armor. As supporters of traditional morality, we can only hope that both twinks and bears ultimately submit to our virile superiority. Now more than ever we need to expose the homosexual element to the massive thrust of Christian power we clearly possess.