Your guide to Planning to be Raped
Nearly 90,000 people reported being raped in the United States in 2008. There is an arrest rate of 25%. Do you have a vagina? Well You should plan to have it violated.
Yesterday the lovely Blanche Beecham told us of how the very wonderful christian man and Kansas State Rep. Pete DeGraaf (R) wrinkled the hairy armpits of lesbians and feminists of that state. Today the vengeful hate has spread across the internet from his statements that women should prepare to be raped by himself and any other man out there.
Rapist?
This reminded me that Men are very dangerous creatures, atleast those who are not true Christians. It also got me to thinking…how does one prepare yourself to be raped?
As a woman in her 80′s, I luckily have never been raped as I have never dressed slutily or allowed unchristian men within sins distance of me. Because of this I have never put much thought into what I would do if I were raped. It is a horrible thought really. But thanks to Mr. DeGraaf, I have prepared my lady bits to be ravaged by a stranger; and I am going to tell you how I did it!
STEP 1: DON’T BE A SLUT
We know statistically that 90% of women who are raped have dressed as a slut within 72 hours of the rape. If you think that there is a chance or being raped I suggest that you do not wear
*Halter tops
*Tank Tops
*Mini Skirts
*Shorts
*Comic book panties
*G Strings
*Cleavage revealing tops
*Assless Chaps
*High Heel Shoes
*Open Top Shoes
*Bikinis
*Skirts lower than you calf
*Pink
STEP 2: KEEP YOUR DISTANCE
Studies show that 99% of women who are raped are within 6.5 inches of a man when it happens. Why 6.5 inches? that is the average length of an American
man’s…shall we say…sin stick.
If you think that there is a chance that you could be raped keep your distance from any man, especially a non-christian, at a bare minimum a distance of 7 inches should be maintained.
Although only 1% of women are raped by other women. I suggest you take these rules and apply them to any liberal, feminist, democrat, lesbian or just
plain butch woman.
STEP 3: INSURANCE
Fifty-thousand South Africans are insured by the LifeSense Rape Care policy, underwritten by Lloyds of London. After a rape, policy holders receive a triple cocktail of anti-retroviral drugs for 28 days and free HIV testing for one year. The policy also covers the morning after pill, counseling, alternative therapy, and security upgrades for the home.
Policyholders pay less than $2 each month for the LifeSense insurance, which is sold through employers. In contrast, a one-month supply of three
anti-retroviral drugs costs consumers as much as $833. That’s no small price considering South Africa’s per capita household income is $2,880, according to the World Bank.
“But I’m not a dirty South African” you say. What about rape insurance in the US?
Well bend over and get ready for it again. As there really is no such thing. On the bright side there is now a “growth market” for a new product. On the not so bright side is getting raped can lead to loss of regular insurance.
Christina Turner feared that she might have been sexually assaulted after two men slipped her a knockout drug. She thought she was taking proper precautions when her doctor prescribed a month’s worth of anti-AIDS medicine.
Turner, 45, who used to be a health insurance underwriter herself, said the insurance companies examined her health records. Even after she explained the
assault, the insurers would not sell her a policy because the HIV medication raised too many health questions. They told her they might reconsider in three
or more years if she could prove that she was still AIDS-free.
I am afraid it gets worse.
Some women were deemed ineligible for health insurance because they had a pre-existing condition as a result of a rape, such as post traumatic stress
disorder or a sexually transmitted disease. Other patients and therapists wrote in with allegations that insurers are routinely denying long-term mental
health care to women who have been sexually assaulted.Nurses who deal with sexual assault cases say the industry’s policy creates a significant problem for those treating women who have been assaulted. “It’s difficult enough to make sure that rape victims take the drugs,” said Diana Faugno, a forensic nurse in California and board director of End Violence Against Women International. “What are we supposed to tell women now? Well, I guess you have a choice – you can risk your health insurance or you can risk AIDS. Go ahead and choose.”
The best you can hope for is abortion insurance. But as a Christian woman we know that you’re pro-life and would not consider an abortion. But for the benefit of Claire and L.N. or any other god haters who may be reading this, I will cover it. If your lucky to live in the liberal socialist Washington state, if you are pregnant and low income, you may qualify for “Medical Assistance” regardless of your age, and regardless of whether you want to give birth or get an abortion. But if you live in a more god fearing state, Abortion is covered under many insurance plans. The clinic can help by verifying coverage and other paperwork. It may not be necessary to obtain a referral from a primary care physician before setting up an abortion appointment. But of course if you live in Kansas you will need a separate insurance policy.
STEP 4: ARM YOURSELF
Get a gun. If your a wussy or a liberal afraid of guns you can get pepper spray. But what if your rapist is Hispanic or worse from Thailand? They will laugh at your pepper spray, and continue raping you. But if you shoot him in the face I guarantee he will stop.
This says “STOP”!
This says “slap me like a bitch”!
STEP 5: A GOOD DEFENSE
Several companies make and market devices to be inserted into your woman bits that will do unspeakable damage to the attackers Satan scepter.
Rapex also known as the ‘rape trap’ is a product worn internally by women. The hollow inside is lined with rows of razor-sharp hooks, which are designed to latch on to a rapist’s penis during penetration. They can only be removed by a doctor. South African mother-of-two Sonette Ehlers developed the original prototype in 2005. South Africa has the world’s highest rate of sexual assault with 1.7m women raped each year.
The Fem-Defense anti-rape device was introduced in Sweden in 2003, the tool doesn’t appear to have created a very large following as there are simply too
many questions involved in its use. Also there have not been enough “successful” cases to warrant additional attention. Attempts to find their webpage are no longer successful so the device may not even be on the market anymore.
STEP 6: DON’T DRINK
In the United States the use of drugs, especially alcohol, frequently plays a part in rape. In 47% of rapes, both the victim and the perpetrator had been
drinking. In 17%, only the perpetrator had been. 7% of the time, only the victim had been drinking. Rapes where neither the victim nor the perpetrator had been drinking account for 29% of all rapes.
Alcohol inhibits you. It inhibits your ability to to know rape is wrong and sinful and it inhibits your ability to run away from a sicko. I think it should go without saying but don’t do drugs either.
STEP 7: PSYCOLOGICAL HELP
For many Christians they find strength in Jesus Christ and give up their burdens to him. But many need more help.
Victims of rape can be severely traumatized by the assault and may have difficulty functioning as well as they had been used to prior to the assault, with disruption of concentration, sleeping patterns and eating habits, for example. They may feel jumpy or be on edge. After being raped it is common for the victim to experience Acute Stress Disorder, including symptoms similar to those of post traumatic stress disorder, such as intense, sometimes unpredictable, emotions, and they may find it hard to deal with their memories of the event. In the months immediately following the assault these problems may be severe
and very upsetting and may prevent the victim from revealing their ordeal to friends or family, or seeking police or medical assistance. Additional symptoms
of Acute Stress Disorder include:* depersonalization or dissociation (feeling numb and detached, like being in a daze or a dream, or feeling that the world is strange and unreal)
* difficulty remembering important parts of the assault
* reliving the assault through repeated thoughts, memories, or nightmares
* avoidance of things, places, thoughts, and/or feelings that remind the victim of the assault
* anxiety or increased arousal (difficulty sleeping, concentrating, etc.)
* avoidance of social life or place of rapeFor one-third to one-half of the victims, these symptoms continue beyond the first few months and meet the conditions for the diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder. In general, rape and sexual assault are among the most common causes of PTSD in women.
STEP 8: COPS
Good Luck. There is a 75% chance the rapist will never be caught. It is suggested that you do not:
# Shower, bathe, or douche;
# Throw away any clothes that were worn at the time of the assault;
# Brush or comb their hair;
# Use the restroom;
# Brush their teeth or gargle;
# Put on makeup;
# Clean or straighten up the crime scene; and
# Eat or drink anything.
As horrible as rape is, planning for it like a flat tire can improve things.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Susan B. Xenu
Although over 80 years old, she is still a woman of unparalleled intellect and passion. She brings this spiritual fire to every aspect of her life. "Sister Susan" joined our staff in 2011 and has a fiery writing style on a diverse set of topics. A widow she lives in Atlanta, Ga and has been active in her church for over seven decades! You can now add her on Facebook or Twitter. Also read her Personal Blog.
1:15 am
I recommend staying away from the homogays.
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1:46 am
always sage advice!
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2:41 am
I dont think that gay men are going to want to rape women, idiots!
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6:10 pm
there is no end to the disgust of the homogays
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12:19 pm
fuck you
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1:19 am
How do you protect kids from this:
http://christwire.org/2009/02/new-device-encourages-parents-to-rape-their-childrens-bum-area/
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1:52 am
Truly disgusting TB. Wont anyone think of the children?
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3:00 am
We pray for the children every night, but evil lurks in every shadow of America.
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2:43 am
HA HA HA! I love having star shaped poop! Sometimes it is hard pushing it thru that little opening tho!
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6:12 pm
I wish McCain had won
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1:48 am
I dont think there IS away to protect yourself from that level of evil
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9:47 pm
One tip I received (I wish I was kidding here) during a self defense class was that if you feel that you are being stalked, that you should pick your nose and pretend to eat the boogers where the stalker will see you.
The idea is to make yourself less appealing and thus shatter any fantasies the stalker maybe having.
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10:15 pm
As long as you pretend I guess that isn’t so bad…
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2:33 am
Only God’s vengeful cancer can put a stop to something like that.
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7:20 am
If anybody makes a comment about Claire during this post, I will get very angry.
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11:27 am
Why? We’re not married. We’ve never even met.
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11:31 am
OOOOOOO….that level of denial! I SAW the videos! Lord help you, dear Bruce!
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11:32 am
I have, though, seen a picture you posted of him. I had mixed feelings about it. I the one hand, I wanted to break down and cry; on the other, I wanted to violently puke.
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11:40 am
If by “never even met” you mean that we haven’t consumated the marriage yet, tat is true. I just feel like all of your cats are watching us and I especially don’t want one of their sand paper like tongues licking my no-no parts.
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11:44 am
For as morbidly obese as you are, I don’t think you’d feel the sandpapery tongue. Or anything else…
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11:49 am
Some days you wanna just take the unwashed, and well, add some more mud and oil and dirt and tar and feathers.
Timmay? What kind of Christian name is that?
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11:55 am
My mother wanted the godly Christian name Timothy; my father was unfortunately a bit less Christian and demanded “Timmay.” Perhaps I’ll change it someday, if that is the Christian think to do.
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11:57 am
Timmay, you obviously did not watch our wedding video (seen here):
http://christwire.org/2011/05/claires-happy-day-the-marriage-of-bruce-and-claire/
or read the comments after or you would realize that picture was some of Claire’s “chubby chaser porn” which I have since deleted from her computer, and she was using it as a “marital aid”.
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12:01 pm
Oh, I did do all that. But somehow Claire does not seem to me to be someone who would distort, or, heaven forbid, fabricate something. It is not very Christian of you to be sexting pictures of your naked shameful obesity. But she did the right thing in bringing out the truth.
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12:05 pm
At 6′ 5″ and 215lbs, I do not believe I am obese. I am a perfect specimen of a human. A 6’5″, 215lb white male. God created me in His image.
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12:08 pm
Blonde with blue, Christian eyes too I sincerely hope. I was not so lucky, being born a ginger. But Ms. Xenu assures me I still have a soul.
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12:11 pm
GROSS!!!
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12:11 pm
Timmay sounds very homoqueer. And for your blessed mother to bow to his will is extremely anti-Christian. How old are you? If of age you should go to the courts and change your name. But your posts suggest that you are, at best, 12 years old. Hopefully when you mature to adulthood you’ll get to a judge and change your name to a proper Christian one. And be re-baptized.
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2:44 am
I saw Bruce’s wedding pictures! That Claire bitch is HUGE!!!
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12:10 pm
Also, why am I being persecuted now? I have been defending Claire for the last two days on this site, but I only get thanks from other Christwire Fellowship members for bearing this cross.
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12:36 pm
Defending me? How, by making up lies that we’re married?
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12:39 pm
Have you tried electro shock therapy? Really, it’s about you tried it again.
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5:03 pm
Dear Bruce. As I discovered in my research Rape is a very serious matter. I would never pick on Claire or any one else in a post on rape.
In that same thought process let us not pick on the ginger kid for his homogay name that was given to him by his father. His mother did the right thing in relenting to the man.
When it comes to naming a child “no” can mean “sure do it any way” but when it comes to rape “NO” always means NO!
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9:46 am
Most eloquently stated! I am humbled.
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6:15 pm
thank you sir, I will pray for your ginger soul.
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11:21 am
Oh Lord, I feel sick just thinking about someone touching my dear sinless Mother with their filthy hands. I wouldn’t even let my father sleep in the same room as she (and finally drove him away with my age and genetic appropriate jealousy).
There is no punishment too severe for rape.
That said; women, don your bonnets, your long sleeve blouses and frock coats, your triple petty coats and ankle length dress, and stay inside cooking and cleaning where you belong.
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5:04 pm
amen brother!
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5:44 pm
Susan, I have been following your insightful articles for a while now, and I must say that this is the finest piece of Christian investigation I have seen so far. You just get better and better.
Reminding the reader that rapist are never Christians is an often overlooked point. But what about the fact that most rape is done by scary black men?
Also, one small error, if you don’t mind me pointing it out, is that the average penis size is 5.25 inches, so Christian men above that length can feel complete and full in the glory of Christ.
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6:26 pm
Why thank you Brother Ice. It has taken me a while to get into the groove. I hope to add to the christian journalistic excellence that is Christwire.
Although 99% of rape is committed by men I did not find any statistics speaking to the statistics of blacks over whites committing the crime.
5.25? really? What has come to this country? Just years ago the average male sin stick was a healthy 6.5! What has caused this? Is it the homogay agenda liking smaller satan scepters that will cause less pain and irritation to the anus? Is it the feminist agenda emasculating men? I fear at the heart of it is illegals bringing their tiny flesh rods into our country!
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6:38 pm
I think your theory of immigration interbreeding has some merit.
I Bing’ed “average Christian penis size” and found this interesting article:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060727122059AA5ocCg
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6:53 pm
What an informative article! You know when I was writing my last comment I thought to myself I wonder if the American Christian Penis is larger than others…I wonder if there is another article there!
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11:03 pm
You forgot to mention lipstick or any kind of makeup is a sign for men where to go for easy sex
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6:27 pm
a valid point
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2:46 am
As a liberal I have to tell you that the dressing like a slut business is BS but as a man, I have to admit she’s right. Ladies, if you dont want to get raped dont dress like a slut!
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6:28 pm
I am glad we can find common ground Mr. President
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9:23 am
Uh….Miss Susan can I point out the fact that the majority of the population in South Africa are white? So either you are a severly misinformed racist, or you just feel inadequate when compared to a South African and then have to slander them. And also the Hispanic and Thai being immune to pepper spray? Are you implying they aren’t human, that they can not feel pain?
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9:36 am
Have you never eaten Thai food? Contaminated by Satanic spices that overpower those with a good Christian palette. Of course those Thai Boyladies are immune to pepper! Hispanics are also partial to hot salsa…as ever, Susan has researched her subject thoroughly.
I shall now follow her advice and fortify my mons pubis – or my ‘serving on the Mount’ as an elderly parishioner once called it.
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5:05 pm
Thai food is fucking awesome!
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5:07 pm
Must you? Must you really swear with every post, dear girl? This is a Christian site that is promoting Christian values. And you cheapen it daily with your potty mouth.
I’ll pray for you.
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5:09 pm
Must you be such a dickhole?
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6:34 pm
agreed
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6:34 pm
does your mouth know no modesty claire?
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2:45 am
Must you end every comment with “I’ll pray for you”??
Prayer is a sacred conversation between God and his children
and you psychotic idiots ruin it all
Honestly
You do realize you live soulless, joyless lives and have no fun.
Also, homogays IS NOT A WORD
GROW THE HELL UP, YOURE PROBABLY IN YOUR FIFTIES, YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS.
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6:33 pm
As usual you got exactly what I was saying Mother! I am so glad you took the time to read my article. I am so glad that it may be of help and use to you
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4:51 pm
Amazing, simply amazing.
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4:55 pm
Thank you.
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6:32 pm
While you are correct that the dirty south africans are more white and thus less dirty than say your typical Mexican they are not Americans and thus less than we are.
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2:52 pm
I have ordered my daughters to share this article with their friends and home-ec teachers.
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6:37 pm
thank you for your appreciation of my article G
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6:38 pm
I am sure that can only help
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4:52 pm
How did I end up here? This is the worst crock of bullshit I’ve ever read.
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4:58 pm
My guess is that the Lord called you here. Read. Read some more. Keep reading. I SAID KEEP READING!!! God has given you the chance to see the light. Take off your “holier than thou” blinders, also known as Prada sunglasses, and receive the word of the Lord.
I’ll pray for you.
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6:39 pm
I believe that Jesus must have brought you here as your soul is undoubtedly in trouble.
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9:29 pm
Everything about this erotic article made me so hawnee I yelled for my daddie to cum over and remove his teeth. He sucked the hemorroid out of my poopie hole and I had a turdgasm over his face! I licked that shit all up! YUM!
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9:31 pm
A vast collection of Christian Trolls? Genius! – DIRTY WHITE MALE SOUTH AFRICAN
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2:41 am
OK, I am a Christian, but what you people are like is just sick. You give Christians a bad name. 90% of all people who deny conversion to Christ deny it because they don’t want to be like you stuck up overcritical fag whores who honestly I just laugh at day in and day at.
Get on reddit you dicks. LIVE A LITTLE.
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