Are Hats Interfering With Your Relationship With God?
In my experience as a youth minister, I have come across many disturbing trends that threaten our young and their relationship with the Lord. From tattooing to homosexuality to ska music, there are many distractions that the young can face. The most long-lasting and insidious of all of these distractions is hats.
Holy and correct theology says most pure way of communicating with the Lord is through scientific energy waves that come from the brain. This has been proven by science for many years. The waves must be pure and uninterrupted in order to properly communne with the Lord. A scientific picture of proper holy communication looks like this:
Putting a hat on your head is like covering up a holy light that spews forth from your brain to the Lord. For the Lord to be able to talk to you, you must let your magic science waves talk to him as well. Humphrey Bogart is just one of the many evil influences on our youth from times past. It is not for me to say, but perhaps the hat in this picture contributed to his homo lifestyle that was later exposed.
While other trends have sputtered and died, hats continue to make themselves knowne in youth culture time and time again. Transsexual pop teen Justin Bieber frequently wears hats, blocking off the rays of the Lord from massaging his brain. Without these sorts of massages, Bieber will continue to make youth sex music and switch his genitals around.
The only holy hat is the hat that the pope wears. It has been proven by Christian science to increase communication with God instead of decreasing it.
It is immediately obvious just from the look of this hat that it is made as a conduit to the Lord’s words. Note that it is open at the top in order to let God’s grace in, and contrast this to a sinful muslim scarf or another sinful hat like the one below.
The man in that second picture is certainly off to commit gay sin lust acts, probably with the man below. Do not be like them and do not allow other good Christians to wear hats!!
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Cool Tom Kimbo
I am a Youth Minister trying very hard to show children that God is more awesome than sin docking and rap.
12:41 am
And dont forget turbans. They increase the signal of the Devil.
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2:13 am
Oh my, I am afraid that this is what happens when you mix Science and God with one another. The two do not mix sweety, you see if you believe in Jesus you must actually forgo scientific thought or you get confusing mixed messages like this. See the bible actually says that God likes hats and that women should cover their head as I recently wrote in the article about grannies with short hair.
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2:14 am
http://christwire.org/2011/05/short-grandma-hair-is-a-sin/
The apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 11:3–15:
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife1 is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, 5 but every wife2 who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. 6 For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. 7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.3 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. 13 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering.
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11:53 am
I read your article, Susan, and I found it very informative. But I think that scripture agrees with both of us on this point, as in verse 11:7 which you cited
7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man.
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5:02 pm
OH YES! Your right. I meant to mention that but forgot…at my age I forget lots of things.
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6:13 am
“Christian science” that’s a new one I’ve never heard that before.
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1:40 pm
Hmm, I often wear a hat outside working or while playing ball. It keeps the sun off my brow.
I don’t believe one should be worn on holy ground or indoors though.
I’m trying to think if I have ever seen Abe without a hat.
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5:03 pm
perhaps limited exposure to hats would not be bad.
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5:18 pm
It is highly probable that Abe and August, being older and wiser than me, are of higher moral fiber than myself and have been able to build up a resistance to the dampening powers of hats.
I know that whenever I put on a hat, I immediately feel my connection to God diminish. Perhaps this is not the case with all Christians. I am most concerned about children wearing hats, when they are young and most susceptible to evil.
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5:27 pm
perhaps you should try a trucker hat with mesh in the back, they were all the rage in the 80s
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1:41 am
Hats? I think everything interferes with one’s relationship with god, except praying and self-flagellation.
Also, don’t use burger juice to cheat. Its not nice.
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4:57 pm
Should we all shave our heads too to get rid of even more ‘static’ that interferes with communication with god?
Then again if a woman shaved her head it might appear to be that she is trying to act more manly which would be seen as a ‘homosexual act’.
There is no winning in religion or lack thereof.
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4:02 am
Plus shaving your head whether you aare male or female could be viewed as a satanistic act.
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7:58 pm
No. Hair is helpful as it amplifies your communication with God. It is only hats that are sinful. Is this really so complicated?
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5:42 am
Actuly Tom your blog about Tyler the creator is about 99.5% false. Tyler is not gay. He says he is a athiest and not a devil worshiper. When he says free Earl he means Earl sweatshirt whos mother did not want any of. His music released. If you did any real research you would know that in a MTV interview he said he is not a satanist
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6:42 am
Gatfactsnot straight… I think you need to stop loving “MTV” and start loving Jesus. Brother Tom Kimbo knows about kids like you, maybe you should listen to him.
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7:51 pm
So using one of those cone thingies the vets put on dogs would applify communication with the lord? (and if you ask me the Vatican and the Catholic church is the biggest cult there is)
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1:56 am
you know I believe in god i’m catholic, but you people are nuts. first off god tells us to spread the word of christianity not force it apon others and you have no rite to say someone’s religion is wrong because christianity is far from the first known religion. and i accept people for who they are and what they believe not criticise them. and the islam religion is almost identical to christianity the book of quran teaches the same basic principles as the bible. and about this crap about god only loving america is bullshit if that’s true why was jesus born in bethlehem (aka) the middle east and your fake image of jesus is also bullshit being born in bethlehem you people would have thought he was black because of where he couldn’t have been so fair skin. you people are what’s wrong with the christian faith today and you make me sick.
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3:08 am
spoken like a true child molesting catholic, take you sin elsewhere pagan! It isn’t wanted here!
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5:10 am
so because he brings up good points and disagrees with you he is automatically a child molesting catholic and needs to be shunned. is that what you are trying to say
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10:54 pm
I feel sorry for you if you can’t recognize that this is comedy
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7:58 pm
“You people”? Maybe you should stop generalizing, bigot.
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1:29 pm
Fact: Jesus wrote in scripture that as christ followers we are suppose to call people bigots on the internet. Do not show them love.
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2:06 pm
hey Cool Tom Kimbo, when you post shit like this you really make christians look bad. nearly all your posts are just complete bullshit. you’re a failure as a christian and i hope you kill yourself.
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1:19 pm
Your spelling is turrrobowl.
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11:45 pm
I hope the power of Jesus compels you…to fall off a cliff.
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1:16 pm
The pope hat looks like vagina lips coming open.
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4:17 pm
I’ve always hated hats.
And now I know why.
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4:26 pm
Whenever I go to the barber (“stylists” seem too edgy) I just ask for the length taken off of the top – all of the length. Just bare scalp.
When I pair this haircut with a nice visor, it’s like having 5 bars of cellphone connectivity straight to the Lord.
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4:58 pm
Stop acting like you’re under the law & start acting like Jesus died to set us free from legalism. Grace is a gift but you want to condemn anything you dont agree with. For the record SKA is awesome. Bands like Supertones, Five Iron Frenzy & Insyderz really helped me to praise & worship God & lift my spirits.
Walking around quoting bible verses doesnt make you a better Christian. Or more in touch with God. We werent created to be cookie-cutter people. Its about love & grace. Not ridicule & legalism.
And you’ll never drag someone into the Kingdom of Heaven. Try some compassion & instead of this message here.
Christ is lord indeed.
-Ryan
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9:40 pm
shut the fuck up.
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4:04 pm
God is omni-everything. I don’t think a hat can stop Him. If you believe that, then, my good sir, I pity you.
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1:20 pm
So….wow. Hats ay? No wonder christianity has been misconstrued so much. If your purpose in this was to reach people i think you probably just did the opposite brother. You might say back to me ” Well, sir, it says in the bible that the word of God offends!” Very true, but you dont have to be a hat hating wacko. For real, its just a hat.
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3:52 pm
So if hats cover up the holy light from our noggins then what does a two-story building do? Now i’m concerned about being in an office all day! I keep away from hats anyway but is my office job doing more than just boring me to death?
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12:29 am
What the hell ! Oh no you didn’t. I just know you didn’t just say that about Justin Bieber. Oh hell no. What is this crap ? Hats keep god from massaging your brain wtf. If your such Christians why would you call an innocent boy a transexual. This site can’t be for real. And as for you stupid granny I hope you get a heart attack.
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9:14 pm
This article, and the “logic” behind it, is silly. God isn’t so weak that a *hat* would get in the way of Him communicating with ANYONE, you dumbass. You, Tom, insult and belittle the power of God with these ramblings.
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2:26 am
Gonna buy a Sonic The Hedgehog Hat on eBay now.
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3:17 pm
Magnificent items from you, man. I have have in mind your stuff prior to and you are simply extremely magnificent. I actually like what you’ve received here, certainly like what you’re stating and the way during which you are saying it. You make it entertaining and you continue to care for to keep it sensible. I can’t wait to read much more from you. This is actually a great website.
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12:21 am
WHAT THE IN THE MOTHERFUCK ARE YOU SAYING?????????? I’ll be you had a GRAND OLE TIME searching for that gay picture….
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