China Declares War On America
I am extremely terrified of Chinese people, but I am not racist. You should feel the same way too.
Not even a year ago, I went before Congress to warn everyone this day would come. I joined thousands of others in protest to beseech our Christian nation declare an invasion upon the Chinese mainland, for the Chinese have a blood oath with my family’s name on it and every one of your family.
As we learned during World War II, China is a blood pact nation. They made a blood pact with Adolf Hitler to sear our innocent sons and daughters to the point of death at Pearl Harbor. And from that day until now, the Chinese elders have passed on nursery rhymes to the grandchildren.
These rhymes are not the gentle stories of Mother Goose, but rather the rumbling whispers of Father Dragon, the greatly evil Lord of China we know as Satan.
For the last 70 years, every Chinese child has been soothed to sleep with gnashing tales of rending American flesh and how great fun it is to make Americans cry as they are tortured. Ingrained in the mind and body of every Chinese child is a bloodlust, one that exists even in every zygote Chinese. They number 3 billion and have it all out for us.
Even though Obama is trying to cover it up, China attacked Los Alamos yesterday. The Chinese are fireboming us with advanced space planes that swoop down from the heavens and ascend just as quickly as they take a life.
To the left you see a site that our brave sons and daughters saw on their final day on Earth, as they stood betrayed by a Liberal Trotsky fellating ‘president’ calling himself Franklin Roosevelt.
We are in a strange new world, one where the Chinese are attacking us and Obama is trying to hide the truth from our Christian nation.
Make no mistake. As you sleep tonight, every Chinese family will take time to bless their ancestral Samurai sword, all taking turns cutting their palm with it and even with their thick China accents, pronouncing “Forever To the Fuhrer”, sealing their ancient blood pact with Adolf Hitler and his Nazis.
These forces dream of the day when America lays prostate and smoldering, dealt a death punch by the Axis powers rerisen. It is up to us to ensure the spirit of McCarthy pervades and triumphs, so the good eest can contine to reign supreme and dominate the rice scented people of this planet.
I am extremely terrified of Chinese people and you are too. But never let anyone tell you this is wrong. They have attacked Los Alamos and the Sultan of Lies, Obama, is too scared to admit he and his little demorat cronies were wrong. But with perseverance, we can overcome the Chinese just as we did when we gave them to bright, blistering reminders of what freedom really means.
We will teach them the lessons of atomic peace, a reminder that will hopefully stick with them another 50 years.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Amber
Amber <3's you and someone else does too!
5:28 am
They do make a nice buffet line.
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5:38 am
This is a fucking racist website
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1:33 pm
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/satire
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5:18 pm
Warning to all: do NOT click the link above or it will download a virus to your computer.
Great reporting, Amber. The Chinese are an even worse virus than the one leya is trying to give us.
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7:27 pm
no virus, I was on it for like 20 minute with an emulated system constantly scanning for viruses while i opened my firewall and let down all of my immunizations
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8:58 am
哈哈 帕我!!!
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10:17 pm
Probably the most racist…
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12:12 pm
amber, did you know that the japanese attacked pearl harbor, not the chinese?
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12:28 pm
Revisionist historian.
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12:38 pm
care to explain your statement?
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2:26 pm
The asians all hate us and our sun that allows us to grow taller, be smarter and, be morally superior.
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4:07 pm
are you serious?
i mean, wow.
please mr. weisz, tell me why the usa fought against the japanese during wwII, why they dropped fat man and little boy on hiroshima and nagasaki, why the usa helped japan to recover after wwII and why japan was adressed as an ally against communism?
and now you tell me that asian people hate americans (only americans?) because of the sun?
i’m sorry, but you’re wrong
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12:42 pm
In this corner we have the “Jesus fake freak” the one and only Asian lady AMBER and in this corner the nation that brought her up and made her and gave her her look the Asians!!!!!! lol
Asian v.s. Asians that’s like Obama v.s. blacks of lesbians v.s. pussy or gays v.s. dicks lol its so funny!!!!!
im so happy to be back from donating 500,000 dollars to the Japanese and for the black veil bride concert and what the fuck i come home to some Asian chick going against her people!
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2:55 pm
Thank you Amber for your honest reporting. I’m now terrified.
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4:09 pm
you should be terrified of your ignorance
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3:38 pm
sure I’m so scared of your article seriously an educated person would Go find their information other than this Biased racist site ( or betetr would go to the said country)
also You already ddi this article long time ago and you continue saying chinese attacked pearl harbour
and august said there is an asian sun whatever he should stop drugs seriously
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9:24 am
“also You already ddi this article long time ago and you continue saying chinese attacked pearl harbour”
*Also, you* already did* this article a* long time ago, and you continue saying that* the* *Chinese attacked *Pearl Harbor.*
How can I trust the value of your opinion if it’s so poorly articulated? I’m forced to default to Christwire’s opinion. They at least have the sense to proofread their posts, and they provide evidence for their claims. You have done neither of those things.
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6:42 pm
“For the last 70 years, every Chinese child has been soothed to sleep with gnashing tales of rending American flesh and how great fun it is to make Americans cry as they are tortured. Ingrained in the mind and body of every Chinese child is a bloodlust, one that exists even in every zygote Chinese. They number 3 billion and have it all out for us.”
I have to say you really are sharp on this subject Amber, and enlightening for the rest of us. I wonder when America will wake up to the dangers of communism? Do people really believe there is freedom in China? Do people really believe you can be openly Christian and not be persecuted? They censor their media, they allow no open discussions of Christian morality in government or society. It is an utterly wretched place yet many Americans praise these people for their economic success. And when it comes to medical care, you’d be better of with a drunk witch doctor.
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7:03 pm
This has to be the worst excuse for a story ever.
1. You offer no actual evidence of this alleged attack at Los Alamos. I would really like to know how you, and nobody else in the country, seems to know of this attack.
2. China has 1 Billion, not 3 Billion people.
3. The Samuri sword references are actually Japanese, Chinese never had Samuri’s, those were only in Japan.
4. Pearl Harbor was an attack by Japan, we fought them in WW2, not the Chinese. In fact, China was an ally of ours in fighting Japan, who were the ones allied with Hitler, China never had any ties with Hitler’s Germany.
Next time you make up a bunch of crap and pass it off as news, at least make an effort to pretend you actually did research. I pray for everyone who believes your lies and stupidity.
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9:28 am
What a slanderous response. Your falsifications on the efforts of the author are fooling nobody. Anybody who has devoted their life to serving our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ would see that you speak with the forked tongue of the serpent. Who, as you may recall, is partially responsible for the fall of humanity. You seem to be serving a similar purpose.
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2:51 pm
Even using the much detested Wikipedia one can find out that China has 1 billion people and that the word Samuri is a Japanese word. Furthermore via the sound clips from FRD’s speech after the attack on Pearl Harbor we know that it was the Japanese who attacked us. China was in fact on our side during WWII because the Japanese had invaded their province of Manchuria.
These are actual facts.
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10:21 am
wow, unbelievable. is this website for real? if ever a site needs to be hacked and crashed, it’s this worthless shiteating excuse for web “journalism”
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9:25 am
Erm, before anyone start throwing definitions of sarcasm or satire or black humor at me, can I point out that getting the facts right has got nothing to do with “satire”? Before joking on any subject matter, try and get the facts right first. Satire is about how you package and present the facts, its about the perspective, and not altering what is there. Enough said. I can’t be bothered to point out what is real and what isn’t in this article.
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9:32 am
Besides the fact that this article is not satire (it is the plain truth spoken by devout followers of Jesus), your definition is pure fabrication. Nothing about satire OR sarcasm implies that the facts need to be right. Take the devil-worshiping, pro homo-gay satire newspaper The Onion. Clearly satire, but none of the articles are true. They merely comment on sociological phenomenons or actual events through reporting on absurd fabricated events. Or the derisive comment of an onlooker observing a failed attempt at pole-vaulting: “Well, that went well.” In fact, it did not. But he was being sarcastic, am I right?
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6:49 pm
Thank heavens the horrifically racist are typically too stupid to be scary. Funniest hate site ever, in fact! Thanks for the heads up on the Chinese Nazi space planes, “Amber.” Your wisdom regarding the samurai sword-carrying, Pearl Harbor-bombing Chinese is unparalleled, and this article clearly wasn’t written by an angry, ignorant, crazy person.
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2:39 pm
Stupid bitch who cannot even tell difference between Japanese and Chinese.
You are a liar and a racist bitch, you will go to hell.
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10:30 pm
This writer is inciting hatred with lies.
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12:25 am
the fundamentalists are extremists no better than the musilm terrorists. “Im extremely terrified of the chinese. But im not rascist”. white supremacist. U call orientals fascists, and yet, christian fundamentalism is the very BASIS of fascism. Im surprised u dont support the nazi’s. YOU ARE NAZIS. Adolf Hitler believed the exact same things u do, only difference is, he took control of all of europe (minus england), and inflicted his screwed-up fascist, rascist, homophobic, xenophobic, and sexist views on everyone else. and i bet u would to, extremist scums. Rot in your own hell.
ps. It was JAPAN that allied themselves with the nazi’s, NOT china
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9:41 pm
Greetings to all, I am Modric, One of the 23rd travellers of the pranic energies consult P.V & O.T.O, also I have been chosen to attack certain groups, as I am the hacker, I can take down this website and basically send it away for ever. THIS IS A WARNING, Stop the lies, stop the ignorance to women, to the young and the old. You disrespect every energy that is possible on this beautiful earth, Your god would be in disgrace in the magnitude of disrespect you throw at everyone, Your blinded by the lies and corruption that you have in your community and organization, Giving a bad name to fellow good Christians, and other religious people. I have respect to everyone around, including religious people, as we are all the same, but YOU separate us, creating constant fear, to gather more following, and irony is, you follow Charlie Sheen on your twitter, a drug fuelled celebrity of the “evil” Hollywood, sometimes I think you even disgust yourselves, don’t you feel bad? creating constant fear? making lies? I don’t deny that there is a God, but WE don’t tolerate beings like this organization and this website, for too long we have sat down and watched this, You have one week, If we see more fear and lie induced articles and reports, we are eliminating this website. I will be around this website for a long time observing your next moves… Be careful Your playing with fire.
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7:25 pm
thank god you’re here, we really needed a professional hacker, I’m chinese and now i’m afraid to go outside thinking that racists will come left and right to tear me apart for being a chinese american
.
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6:11 pm
I love how funny this website is.
However, I am mildly worried that some people (most likely Americans) will think that this is true.
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8:18 am
This is good. Possibly the funniest thing I have read all week. Another piece of treasure from this awesomely insane website I just discovered.
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1:33 pm
being an ardent gay rice queen, i welcome the cuming hoardes of chinese soliders.
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7:08 pm
i am so saddened if this is what people in american are taught
i mean there is so much wrong with this article china has only 1 billion people
china was an allied power in WW2. China did not attack Pearl harbor the japanese did and now they are one of americas top allies
hitler was christain and hated chinese people
samurai swords or japanese
i almost cried when i read this article
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10:56 am
Are you stupid though? In WW2 it was the Japanese that fought against us, not the Chinese. Idiot. Japan and Germany made the alliance along with Italy. Not China!
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8:52 pm
Thank God I’m not a blind fanatic who believes everything, not only was it the Japanese who attacked pearl harbor, not the Chinese, Samurai’s were Japanese as well, not Chinese, thus proving your knowledge of their “samurai sword,” as well. The Chinese also never made a blood pact with Hitler, I am not afraid of Chinese people either, I don’t agree with many of their general population’s ideas, beliefs, and actions, but I happen to like Asians. You are a merely Xenophobic waste of human life, I feel bad saying this, as it goes against what I’ve learned as an actual non-racist, not homophobic, non-judgemental Christian. You are ignorant, you spread hate and lies in attempts to corrupt America further.
TL;DR: Amber is an ignorant, xenophobic(I wouldn’t be surprised if she also hated gays, whom while I don’t agree with the sexual preferance, feel they have a right to marry like any oyher citizen.) and should join the Westboro Baptist Church.
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4:51 pm
這很有趣，因為你啞亂搞無法理解。
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