Apparently there are restaurants in the Midwest called “Dunkin’ Donuts”, a hog’s trough of Wal-mart caliber customers who desire baked confectionary. I am sure all the little Dunkin Donuts places are cute and quaint, but for you poor people out there who have not had Krispy Kreme, I tell you. You are missing out.
To be fair with my analysis, I did research into the best Dunkin Donuts had to offer. Let’s take a look:
When analyzing a restuarant for review, it is always nice to get a feel of the sort of clientel it attracts. It it a place of class and the white-collar working of America, a place such as Panera Bread or Starbucks. Or is it a bare-footed, rotten toothed place where mothers count up their welfare money to keep snotty-nosed children from crying due to their diabetic sugar high?
Bruised legs. Mismatched outfits. Lack of socks. Urban warefare. Looks like another WIC poverty line at Wal-mart. Still, what could cause people to use the last of their Obamafare money on a 30 second mouth pleasure. Surely, they could get a better bang for their buck from a desperate college coed or Vegas brothel dweller. Surely the morsels of pastry doled out by Dunkin Donuts must be superior.
So now we know the clients, let’s look at the product such people eat.
It’s either a burnt bagel or the new mascot for the notorious LA Crisps. Who knows.
Notice that is a featured product at Dunkin Donuts. I know technology may not be a friend in the Midwest where these shops are supposedly headquatered, but this is beyond pathetic. Burnt food? That is not even a donut in this case. Such a poor food and we wonder why people in the US breadbasket are so backwards. They lack goodness in food product.
Contrast the horror above with the following. Let your mouth be the judge:
Look at the fine line-up of pastry. It is enough to make the most ornery, ticket giving and gas-belled Boss Hawg of a cop be nice to an annoying black man on the hottest Georgia night of mosquitos and drive-byes.
When you first walk into a Krispy Kreme, you are greeted by a fast, frinedly staff. They immediately usher you over to a line where you can sample a free donut. Hot off the production line. It melts in your mouth.
Then, you meet the waitress.
Every Krispy Kreme uses models as waitresses and they will hand feed you donut holes upon request. This is a very friendly way to engage the customer.
Once your order is complete, your donuts are immediately available and you get a free milk.
So Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme? The answer should be pretty easy.
Krispy Kreme is the winner.