• Happy International Steampunk Day: Tea Party Subgenus or Absinthe Soaked Sots?

    June 14, 2011 3:55 am 26 comments
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  • Steampunk Green Fairy

    June 14th is recognized as International Steampunk day in recognition of H. G. Wells’ birthday. While one might be a little puzzled by the purpose of Steampunk, which on the surface appears to be a sick, God forsaken ‘artistic’ soup of Wild, Wild West; Gnomes and Goblins in World Of Warcraft; and Victorian romantic, industrial magnets – investigations into this world reveal so much more.

    Abe with steamThere is a nostalgic mist that permeates Steampunk. It is the fog of Victorian aristocrats taking high tea while homeless moppets labor in non-union industrial factories with filthy faces and ragged clothes – a noble vision free of safety regulations. Much like the Tea Party movement, supporters call for freedom to industrialize free of regulation in what some call a ‘distorted nostalgia’. They appear to express this nostalgia in a hand written love letter to capitalism composed by lamplight.

    This historical reminiscence of the group is expressed by top hats, corsets, brass gears, helmets of varied construction, rawhide leathers and bustles. The ‘look’ seems to be just as important as the political philosophy for both the steampunk community and the tea party nation.

    The Steampunk movement, much like the Tea Party, attempts to correct the commonly accepted histories from liberal education into a more truthful or at least palatable world view that allows one to rise above the yaws of a diseased world with airships over Kansas and mercenary scientists of alchemy.

    Sarah Palin is a supporter of steampunk and was recently called out for her ‘Steampunk wink’ when she gave an account of Paul Revere’s ride down the streets of Boston. She explains the tenets of both steampunk and the tea party – to learn from our past so we can look forward.

    Some liberals have expressed concern over Steampunks (and Sarah Palin’s) changing of the history to a more romantic or opportunistic distortion.

    “The enjoyment of this ‘distorted nostalgia’ for a vision of the world that did not only appear in books and stories, but was also actively used to marginalized and oppress should be something that gives us pause.” – ‘Sarah’, PhD in Sociology Candidate


    Divided Alliances

    While Steampunk shares many of the same characteristics of the tea party movement, such as a whites only doctrine and an embarrassing affection for hats, troubling differences are also apparent. While the tea party supporters’ interest is with the American revolution, the Steampunk movement focuses on the Industrial revolution and hails an international membership. Foreigners and their ideas are not welcome in the tea party nation; the steampunk nation seems to embrace them.

    Women are bound in corsets of whale bone and gartered with scant underclothes. Men wear button trousers with button flies and use condoms made of sheep intestines. Women are helpmates in the steampunk household and are expected to wring the wash and beat the Persian rugs with badminton rackets over clothes lines, if Irish house servants are not procured. This is obviously a diversion from the tea-patriot household where clothing is washed on a rock like they did during the revolutionary war.

    Ladies of the movement

    Drug use is part of the steampunk culture, with flypapers soaked in water to draw out the arsenic for clear skin and belladonna used to give a dazed and day dreamy look to a woman’s eyes. In the tea party this comes naturally from prayer.

    GimpSteam punk also has some odd sexual practices that do not meld with the tea party. Investigations unearthed this ‘Gimp Mask’ which I’m told is used for sadomasochistic sexual encounters that include spankings that leave the thighs and buttocks red and blushing with shame. Tears are collected from these encounters and distilled into Absinthe, which is oddly called ‘the green fairy’ in some circles. The tea party patriots would never stand for spanking, unless it was associated with not knowing the Ten Commandments or refusal to say the pledge of allegiance.

    BeetlejuiceAbsinthe, made from the tears from sadomasochistic sexual encounters is also infused with powerful herbal stimulants, creating a psychic tug of war in the mind of the imbiber. Alcohol relaxes inhibitions and invites in new filthy whoring ideas, and the stimulants allow you to logically process the new data into a candlelight memory of your own liking.

    Foremost of the stimulants is thujone, the psychoactive chemical at the heart of the herb wormwood, which, along with anisette, gives absinthe its bitter, black liquorish taste. Most consume the liquor with some kind of sugar enhancement. While once thought to instigate similar reactions as THC in marijuana, recent research suggests it modulates the neurotransmitter GABAA, which plays a vital role in cognitive thought. Subsequently, absinthe provides a level of clarity not usually associated with alcoholic drinks. It also has a bug in the bottle, which might be the source of the steampunk supporters’ love for abatement of food and safety regulations.

    While Steampunks have some noble qualities, like disdain for government regulation and a nostalgia for history, their sexual and drug habits will not win them favors with the tea party crowd. Even the support of the dear Sarah Palin is unable to draw this fringe group into the light of day, so we must write them off as the passengers on the Titanic.

    http://www.steampunk.com/happy-international-steampunk-day-2011/Jounalist = Value of Custom Field

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    About The Author
    Blanche Beecham "Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM

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