• Into the Bunker: A Descent into the Underground World of Beat-Worshipping Satan Lovers.

    June 14, 2011 4:19 pm 58 comments
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    As an undercover reporter, I always have to find a way to blend in to the crowd so I am not discovered. This is assignment has been the most difficult transformation to date, and required extensive research at Hot Topic and hours of time getting into vinyl pants and high laced boots, the guise of these ungodly creatures. I found the meeting location of the cult from a glossy flyer strategically left on the ground in Hollywood over Bela Lugosi’s star. No doubt, their pick up/drop off site for correspondence. What did this mean? Why was there an image of a nun bearing her breasts in seduce the cult to the location of their sacrilegious sex orgy? I considered this an attack on religion, even if it was just the Catholics, our children could be next. I had to find out what they were planning, and so I went undercover to one of the most prolific underground satanic cult gatherings in the world, called The Bunker. It became immediately obvious that they were an exclusive private society, probably communists, when I was thoroughly searched by their secret service, who were disguised as Salvadorian security guards. I ascended to the top of an oddly lit stairwell when I was asked to pay ten dollars by the Madame, probably for the virgin raping and prostitution that was to commence. The loud beat of the music was a repetitive hypnotic chant that caused the Satan worshipers to commence in a ceremonial dance with what seemed a rehearsed choreography that incorporated obscure twitching, violent body movements, a result of their obvious possession. Others stood transfixed, dosing themselves with drugs and alcohol, staring into sea of black uniforms and naked flesh. The prostitutes were very easy to pick out because they were basically all the women there, except for the lesbian bartender and the lady who was checking their ceremonial cloaks, seemingly entranced by some hypnosis, probably a heroin addiction and endless supply of prostitutes. There were poles for the half naked prostitutes who may or may not have been half robots, as the metal adornments and synthetic hair and eye color gave away that they may not be human. Many of the cult wore goggles, probably in expectation of a government raid, or to protect themselves from the cum splattered orgy that would occur later. I had no idea they were Nazis as well until I realized that all of the music was sung in German and by the same band. Was this the commanding voice of their great leader, demanding they dance on and eat more drugs? Commanding them to be violent and act out their hatred of god on innocent nuns and virgins? I spotted a nun dressed in vinyl, and decided I had to get out of there, and take her with me. At least I could rescue one of these sex slaves. Unfortunately, as I was trying to drag her out of there, I was attacked by their secret police and thrown out on the street. I have gone to the police, but I fear this cult has more influence than I though. They now control the police, but they do not control Christ. Christ will always prevail, return from his persecution and ascend to glory.

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