Is Harvey Milk in Hell? New Analysis of “Well to Hell” Tapes Provide Possible Answers

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Many of you are probably familiar with “The Well to Hell” that was discovered by geologists under Siberia some time ago. After drilling in the area, the sounds of millions of humans screams were picked up on the recording equipment. These screams were coming from far below the Earth’s surface. From the original report:

A geological group who drilled a hole about 14.4 kilometers deep in the crust of the earth is saying that they heard human screams. Screams have been heard from the condemned souls from earth’s deepest hole. Terrified scientists are afraid they have let loose the evil powers of hell up to the earth’s surface.
‘The information we are gathering is so surprising, that we are sincerely afraid of what we might find down there,’ stated Dr Azzacov, the manager of the project in remote Siberia.

After thorough investigation, these human screams were determined to be coming from Hell. This finally gave us Christians the scientific proof of what we have known for 2000 years: Hell is real.

“As a communist I don’t believe in Heaven or the Bible; but as a scientist I now believe in Hell,” said Dr. Azzacove. “Needless to say we were shocked to make such a discovery. But we know what we saw and we know what we heard. And we are absolutely convinced that we drilled through the gates of Hell!”

Now, Russian researchers out of Saint Petersburg University, have utilized a new, advanced type of voice recognition software that may be able to identify the specific people that are burning in Hell, as well as which Circle of Hell they are being tormented in. Keep in mind that these results are still up for debate, as this technology is still in its infancy. However, the results do correlate with our own hypotheses as to who is in Hell thus far.
As you know, the worst sinners are reserved for the 9th Circle of Hell, while the lesser sinners reside in the first few circles. Here is a short list of probable residents of Hell:

First Circle: Former Presidents Richard Nixon and Franklin D. Roosevelt, musicians Ray Charles and Sonny Bono.

Third Circle: John F. Kennedy Jr. and Jackie Onassis Kennedy, abortion doctor George Tiller, rap stars The Notorious BIG and Lisa “Leftist” Lopes, and noted atheist George Carlin

Fifth Circle: Brothers Robert, Ted and John F. Kennedy, Vladimir Lenin, Saddam Hussein, and Princess Diana of Wales

Seventh Circle: Josef Stalin, musicians Jerry Garcia and John Lennon, Pope John Paul II, and actor Heath Ledger

Eighth Circle: Adolf Hitler, Chairman Mao Zedong, Osama Bin Laden and Schismatic Idolaters Joseph Smith, founder of the Church of Latter Day Saints, and Muhammad, founder of Islam

Ninth Circle: The most damned residents of Hell include Judas, betrayer of Jesus, homogay poet Walt Whitman, and homogay politician Harvey Milk

More proof regarding the residents of Hell

These Circles were first exposed when Middle Ages-era poet, Dante, was allowed to visit Hell and write about his findings. Some of the results from this preliminary investigation of the “Well to Hell” tapes corroborate with Dante’s original report, including the appearance of Judas and Muhammad. Hell is obviously much more populated than it was in Dante’s day of course and this report is quite consistent with who we are likely to find in Hell today. Of course, this report is not confirmed yet, but I do not think it would be of any surprise to Christians if it was indeed true.

One thing that is for sure, whether this analysis proves to be true or not, we know that Harvey Milk is undoubtedly burning in Hell right now for his fecal sins against God.
Harvey Milk (left) playing some sort of perverse, alcohol induced game with another man’s genitalia

While his death was unjust, and I’m sure his murderers will end up in Hell as well, that does not excuse him of his sins. His death provided a catalyst for the liberalization of our society that brought the homogay community together so they could bring their sin into the mainstream as the name “Milk” became a rallying cry for the analsexual agenda, as well as a perversion of a popular drink’s good name. Homoqueer Marriage was not an issue before Harvey Milk (especially after his popularization in the atheist, Sean Penn’s movie) and now it’s running rampant. This country enjoyed protection from God up until this point, but it has now fallen by the wayside as unprecedented tragedies like 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina begin to occur more often. One thing is for certain, if we want to survive as a nation, we must put an end to the homosexualization of America.