As society goes through a broad transformation in its relationship to marriage, the fundamental role of motherhood is being rewritten. We have become a less family-focused country. We have separated sex, parenting and moral obligations to an extraordinary degree. Gay marriage advocates welcome this change, but it has far-reaching consequences for the rest of our culture. When a civilization such as ours becomes sexually disorganized, it cannot successfully channel the erotic energy of the young towards stability in the home.
Nowhere is this issue more acute than in single-mother households. We have witnessed a dramatic rise in the number of these environments since the 1950s and 60s. The trend of young men who are sexually attracted to their mothers is the most disturbing side effect of this shift. Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud famously defined such desire as the Oedipal Complex but evidence shows it was quite rare in 19th-century Europe.
That is not the case today.
Ranging from ages 13 to 30, there is a preponderance of sons, adopted sons, stepsons and even foster children who exhibit a marked attraction to their maternal figures. If you suspect this may be the situation in your home, here are a few things to be on the lookout for as you further investigate this issue:
1. Have you found your used undergarments hidden beneath your son’s mattress? While this might be an early sign of gender identity confusion, it could also be a trophy used for private arousal.
2. Does he snap photos and film you far too often? Clearly you have a responsibility here to check which pictures he is saving to his computer and what types of pornography he is downloading from the Internet.
3. Has your son ever exhibited himself naked to you and been reluctant to get dressed when asked? Your child may believe such displays excite mother and will watch closely for any indication of approval.
4. Does your boy still share your bed even though he’s a teenager? The bond between a mother and her offspring can be painfully strong, but there certainly comes a time when you must encourage your child to sleep separately, no matter how much you love him.
5. Have you noticed erections when you give your boy hugs? Sometimes an embrace may last a minute or two too long. You will discover his groin rubbing against you and there will be a clumsy attempt to straddle your breasts.
6. Has he asked you to dye or trim his pubic hair? This may sound unusual, but many mothers have reported such requests and seem wholly unprepared to deal with them.
7. Are dating tips, erections and sports achievements frequent topics of conservation between the two of you? Guiding your child to manhood is crucial for any parent, but there is a point at which such talk becomes foreplay for far worse.
8. Is he masturbating more than usual? There are many ways a mother can monitor the frequency of self-gratification. Quite simply, it’s a crucial part of understanding the extent of a boy’s developing libido.
9. Does he walk in while you’re in the shower just because you forgot to close the door? Again, your son may be looking for any excuse to engage you in an inappropriate manner. Do not fall into the trap of casual conversation and do not ask him to hand you a towel.
10. Have you discovered a stash of your old photos secreted away in his room? Mothers were young once, too, and their indiscretions can be found in swimsuit pictures or nude home videos. Once a boy discovers such items, he will be reluctant to return them and may even pass them to his friends in a boastful manner.
11. Do his girlfriends bear a striking resemblance to you? Take this as a compliment to your fine maternal skills and don’t interfere with the relationship simply because you’re jealous.
12. Have you ever mistakenly encountered your child on a dating site or in an adult chat room? Far too many single women leave common sense behind when they go online. Sometimes tech-savvy teens know this and will pursue their mothers with anonymous email requests for revealing images. Don’t tease him in chat rooms and, by all means, resist the temptation to view his private profile pictures.
13. Do your son’s handsome looks remind you of the boy’s father when he was young and virile? It’s not healthy to get lost in a past love, particularly when it’s through the glimmer of your growing boy’s lustrous eyes.
14. Have you ever suspected that he purposely leaves his worn underpants around the house to tempt you? As this falls into motherly household duties, it’s to be expected as a matter of course. You should be aware, however, that an overabundance of briefs stained by ejaculation can also be an invitation to explore your son’s burning incestuous fantasies.
With the society’s declining social norms and the widespread availability of pornography, it’s too easy to be confounded by your son’s sexual desires. In generations past, parents had numerous tools at their fingertips to battle this crisis. It’s vital under such circumstances that you seek counseling with a trusted pastor or medical professional when these urges manifest themselves. Surely you can help him grow into adulthood, but proper boundaries are essential to any familial relationship. Remember that your child may simply be going through a difficult phase of confusing hormones and cultural challenge. Love your son and keep him close, but not so close that it endangers his future as a man.